<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Finalflameflickers Anotherwordsearch. Empty or emptied?
&so my tyrannyends. Notime for puzzles with her. Onlyafter longtraining
Stardust to earthash. Say whatlove wouldsay. might I knoworfeel.
Mixing gas&oil Mixing gas&oil Framinglumber soaked There're asmany times
thenstarting my lawnmower. thenstarting my lawnmower. Workersprayed with roostertail as thereare humanbeings
Past&present now. No miracle here. after nailgunburst. butjust one transform.
Ticktockclocksfeeding Greed&arrogance Watchingmydog graze
onmy robustmemory each ataloss for defense on highgrass duringourwalk
butnot my hourglass. against presentense. then cleaningvomit.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Impermanence Money
Duringmytraining Money lowesthangingfruit
railingagainstdeath on treeofselfworth
my self indulging in asif howmuch I have
puerilecomplaining. is the measureofme.
Time'sarrow havingbeencaught Realwealth being
in transform'sgyre howlittle I want.
becoming the immanence ofeach
thisnow Howlittle I have
leavingme noway towhine to defend
about nonexistence insome beingfruit of tree
futuretime. of patientraining tobe
less&lesser me.
Ofcourse there's nopermanence
inour river'srapids ThenWhen
or in the comings&goings Myability toimagine myfuture
of stars or guessyours
or of we lesserincarnations is directlyproportional to my
of immortality. depthofmemory.
If I stop tothingabout it Letforgetting begin.
thatmoment is death
permanent to myself Mantel
inmy precious indwelling. A clock on everymantel
countingupdown alltime
Eternal &my shortlivedpresence.
I havelived forever manymanytimes.
Below bothclock&mantel
I amlivingforever ineach thisnow logs burningages of stardustspark
ifonly I canforget releasingtransform'sgyre
what I want neitherlower nor higher
&completelyblank than wetwo facingthefire.
onwho I was.
Memory as ash heat as flash
Pain ofall thereis
Myanklehurts inour brieftime together.
but I havenotime
forsuffering Inexorable
becausetheball Inexorable transform.
iscomingatme.
Even green&gold
Thegame is eternal even leaf&flower
&impersonal. even truth&faith
lost
ReJoin in elementaljoy.
I couldn'tfish thisdusk
becauseofthunder. BarberPole
Furrytailed barberpole
I didn'tfish yesterday youngsquirrelsplaying withjust onegoal
becauseofshowers. tospiral updown my hickorytree.
Maybetomorrow Wavesofgray in boundingplay
strormswillstop nimblydancing limbtolimb
&I canrejoin myfish. trimmingthecrown astheymay.
Parenting Sounds
It'sbeendiscovered thatwomen Chainsaw v. crow'scaw.
with higherIQs are lesslikely Nailgun v. woodpecker.
tobecome parents. Mortarmixer v. bear'sgrowl.
Blowinginsulation v. hurricane.
Chilling. Workersonbreak v. geeseoverhead.
Werethesewomen alsogiven SingleSong
a LifeSatisfactionQuestionnaire Bass&treble each singing onitsown
thirtyearslater? yet interweavingasone as a singletone
being twolovers improvising
Heartwarming? Sad? yet effortlessly harmonizing
a fugue yeteachnote fullyfree
Esteem as wildembroidery becoming tapestry
High selfesteem of myriadparts whichallbelong
low selfesteem to nothingotherthan
each a self this singlesong.
each a dream.
Mawk
Bettertojudge Raised by a mouse&hawk
with a different seeingpredators duringeachwalk
scheme. seeing prey from a mileaway.
Eitheror neithernor
Best not tojudge if&but less&more
atall. being both& life&death.
Empathy BasketBall
Pretendingtoshare exactsame feeling Head unknowing stacattolegato
pretention or genuine whocanknow? or sweetharmony&syncopation.
Yourbeing sendingmysenses reeling Bball as fugue of furyonthego
asif a bluebird whenreally a crow. playingnotime as lesseparation.
Perhapscompassion iswhat I'm thinking Three of ten keepingscore ineach sadhead
but lostinthought neverthatclose toyou. asif needingmorethan this dervishdance
Is this desire reaching asif linkinig while sevenother bustingtails instead
asif I canknow whatyou're goingthrough? eachselflost in intoxicatingtrance.
Betterbetween rapt &wrappingpaper Randomgyre playedout within lawful lines
not yourhanditself but gloveof snugfit. &always true to arbitraryrules.
Neitherair norwater rather vapor Quicknesspeed endurancestrength intertwines
neveridentical yet intimate. with headheart&skills as player's jewels.
Empathyperhaps my eighth subtlesin Untimed&unrhymed always playgroundball
pretending a clone whenatbest a twin. being gameplayed by the bestofusall.
Generals Silence
Asif yellowsteelgenerals Silence ina song
on ridgeline overlooking battlefield. isn't an end
nor is subsequentsound
Upclose beingiants with tenfoot tires a beginning.
eachcarrying a twentyscoopyield.
Whowouldinhale
Afterblasters hadloosened mountainface without an eternalpause
clearingdebris being the finaldisgrace. before exhaling?
Asif mountain vomitingminerals. Who wouldwish immortality
Asif earthitself chokingonprinciples. withits boredom&drudgery
whenthe stacatto&legato
Butcommerce insists on transportation ofeach thisnow
&transport exists as mutilation. is readywilling&able
totake the dancefloor
Reps withyou?
Trainingforever.
Training for anever Wail
that can'tpossibly come. I canrail&wail against insistenceofspace
that I return its precioustardust.
Howmanyreps
eachbeing a part I can bitch&moan about sun'simpatience
(a singlestich?) withmyhording its abundantenergy.
before I becomewhole?
Noneed todie withdignity
Nomuscle. Nomemory. withtransform beingpetty.
Just music&dance.
Bonding Beyond
Ofallbonding in transform's flagrantgyre Thinker thinkingbeyondreason
elementalbeing concocting two trustinglogic&language
onesharing onegiving eachtoaquire intheir incessantknowing
completion within aqueousmilieu. asifknowledge not treason in showing
fruitwithoutroot
Sharing beingleast covalentbyname riverwithoutbed
giving beingmost by chargedattraction earthwithoutwater
labeled ionic wherelosing is gain windwithoutsun
electron gone a plus interaction. lovewithoutpain
asifknowing couldever be enough.
Is covalentclinging merelycaring
where acknowledgedopposites createslove? Thinker in museumofideas
Eventhough there's truebeauty in sharing usingartifacts inanattempt
it's as cawing tothesong of thedove. to lessenseparation.
Earthairfirewater combingatwill
wherethewill is a willesspath tostill.
**MiniVan** **Indignity**
It hadneveroccured tome The ultimateindignity may be
that I shouldsbe morediscrete whenblowing mynose
in mixedcompany findingthat a chunkofbooger
whendescribing myfinal job hadslippedby mykleenex
afterfishing &landed onmylip.
itbeing simplyneeding toslide mykayak
intotherear of mywife's minivan.
**Third** **Dark**
Thirdtrip tothe DollarStore It'snotsmart totakeachance
seeking the correctstrength on a fart
for my readinglasses. whenitmay leaveyour underwear
dark.
Endingupwith enoughcandy
for twoChristmases. Better a trliptothethrone
thanliveinfear ofthe unknown.
OldDog GoldenRule
Our old dog Sharing whatyoulove
sprinting twostrides withsomeone who
toward the rabbit. doesn'tgive a rat'sass.
Just twostrides GoldenRule
needingneither tocount gone terriblywrong.
nor remember.
Blind
Dutiful Reveling in uniqueness&pride
Cars linedup dutifully like the blindperson
on burningasphalt switchingoff oneofthree
of Walmart parkinglot lightsources in the room
witingpatiently tobeloaded &declaring
&drivenhome. "Welcome to my world."
Twosparrows hopping Rubble
intheirshade seekingscrapes Mineralrubble
of whoknowswhat atbase of mountainface
shedded by consumers asif headstones at thefeet
in spendthrift disgrace. of valiantwarriors.
Cleanliness Realization
Cleanliness next to Godliness. Whyhunt when a tamedboar
couldbe athand penned&bred?
Whybother?
They'llboth be dirtyagain Whygather whenseeds canbeplanted
soonenough &food grown harvested stored?
Diamond Whywander when earthprovides
A diamond is sandstone &thestream neverunsdry?
to eternity.
SpecialCase
Pleasebecome a river When inthedark closeyoureyes
sculpting my proudfacade trustingtrainedmemory
into a shape worthviewing. over faintreality.
Blister A Part
Workinghandsblister while satisfyingneed. Can a part bebroken
Selfishands bleed while satisfyingreed. eventhough already
separate&alone?
Warmwater&soap &willtocope
willsoothfingers foldedinlove. Can a brokenheart exist
as a shard ofthelove
Noamount of solvent nodepth of hope I was fairlycertain
canabsolve theskin thatself wouldscrub. was kilnfired&pitiless?
Honestlabor within elementalbeing Can a whole oncedismembered
causing sweatblurred perfectunseeing be recreated as remembered
whilesurfeit&intellection will alwaysresult in a lover'sdream of passion's
in a sweet&assured reflection. consumation?
Seeds Ifso mylove lamentnot
Shs shs shs shs donk. ourfoolishquarrel
Krs krs krs krs bang. &joinwithme in song&dance
flirting asif teens
Oak in futileturfwar flashing a furtiveglance.
with Hickory.
TwoMemories
Stage To reminesce isto rememberblissfully.
She&I bothofage Nostalgia isto sufferthen again&again.
despite disparate lifestage.
DEA
Neither she nor I desperate No DrugEnforcementAgency here
simply commensurate. simply a reminderthat
Denyingnature is selfishsin
Mist Explainingnature is hubris
Canmist bekissed creatingbliss Acceptingnature is elemental.
whilehonoring a tryst withmylover?
Super.....Supra.....Simple.
Oris themoment dismissed
perhaps completelymissed Career
ifshe becomespissed withmy attitudeof wist Caterpillar caringless of careers
or senses a wisp ofmywish tobefree? crawling leaflitter then disappears.
What ifsheinsists with a tensefirmwrist Daybyday hourbyhour
flaunting morethan a verbalfist scurryingwithouthurrying
&speaks with a deadly cobrahiss? on his forestfloor scour.
Methinks I'lldo herbidding evenif itbe a longlist.
Flauntingstripes of red&black
Music clearly notfearing predatorattack.
Music - rhythmicsequence of pleasantsounds;
combinedtones to create Caterpillars caringless of crawl
expressivecompositions. whilewaiting on metamorphic overhaul.
Somuch fordrums as a Faint
musicalinstrument. Wheninthedark closeyoureyes
trustingintuition as welltrainedmemory
Drums - the mostobjective of instruments whenreality is flickering
measuringlife as math. &faint.
NoNow - 1
Between my junior&senioryear asif thisnow amenabletoeither
being a campcounselor. inits eternalonly.
Beatingthekids tothelake for a dawndip Perhapsmydive on secondthought
edgingtowardend of slickpine divingboard is intosomething I neversought.
set topierce lakemist until a sisyphianslip Thelakebeyond its cooldawnmist
landingme buttfirst in before anillusion I mustrain to dismiss.
with feethanging in whatshouldhavebeen
after. When beinglifedeath stretchedfrom then
withnow a thought I thought I lost
Alwaysfallingback mybutt beingmyhoard whiletossed intheturmoil of
of future's I'dchoose if I could. desire'sdefense.
Hopingfor a perfectomorrow
unknowing they'd probably endinsorrow. Can'tstay inthefog.
Can'tsurvive inthelake.
Asif Zeno'stoes inchingtowardwhen Must swimback tothepeir
but firstneeding topierce ephemeralnow. todive again&again.
Asif Zeno paintingtime's SistineCeiling .......................
in futileyearning for lesseparation. Caught between then&when
asif now couldpossiblequeeze
Again&again myattempt at when mydreamories &somehow popout now.
endingup onthe downside of then
neverpiercing now asif onthebrink Asif mydreams not sanitizedmemories
nevertosink inthesea ofmydreams. seekingreality inbetween.
Thenwhen never hyphenated Now neverthere butalwaysnear
&neverever interpolated beinglove as transform's alwayshere.
NoNow - 2
Young campcounselor at lakeside swimsite
posed for dawndive into mistyunknown.
Junioryearover majoring in psych
feigning an intellectual ronin.
Toes edgingtoward endofpine divingboard
asif Zeno approaching edgeofnow
thenslipping asif Sisyphus unmoored
landing in then thus failingtheTao.
Seekingwhen with now asa secondthought
asif hidden inlake beyond blindfog.
Perhapseekingsomething I neversought
inmysearch for Sistinelike dialogue.
Sorrow of thenwhen worthdive as nonow.
Enveloped inhaze whilereciting vow.
NoNow - 3
Songofsilence. There's nobetween then&when Within selfconsciousness
Danceofstill. noteven a thought there's nevernow
Fogofclarity. thatcouldbecaught &releasedatonce only tedium of ticktocktime
Embraceofrelease. with neverachance at reality'sdance. draggingmethrough thenwhen.
HavingFallen HorrorShow
Havingfallen fromits higherbranch Livinginmy horrowshow
hangingfrom a fellowtree. of picking&chosing whatobelieve.
Beingiven onelast finalchance
toflaunt itsflagrant falldecree. Isthat a ghost or a heavenlyhost
or merely a reflection ofmydesires?
Soontosuccumb toits bitterend
becominglost in leaflitterblend. Isthat a promise of lifeverlasting
or a harbinger of hell's searingfires?
RougeTest
Rougetest for youngadults Economy
reflected inthemirror of other. Inthealchemy of elementaryeconomy
Recognizingself in desire&defense Na+Cl becomes Au
becomingaware of needforsilence. whenfood waspoiling
&sapiens werestarving.
Nolonger huntergatherer
beginning to settledown&farm. Soitis with false lover+beloved
Needingtoreap what I sow fool'sgold intimes of want.
&learntolive whiledoing lessharm.
Become
Time to begintraining to lessdefense If I couldtrain to forget
toknow myrippling &live presentense. allsuffering in eachmoment
I'dbecome allsuffering
IFear &thememories theyleave.
I fear thatsomeday
we'll lookback at the atomicbomb Surface
&classify it as a conventionalweapon. On diamondsurface
transform
Common both ephemeral
Believing in God. &eternal.
Notbelieving in God.
Continuation
Beyond "God" There's a continuation of being
a commonconcept. at dawn&dusk
at life&death
Dualist wouldbepleased. asif transform everstills
Logicians wouldbeappeased. asif anyallsapien wills
tobe here&gone
Elementists wouldlament atany timeplace
bothofself's realilties. but thisetenalnow.
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Goldenrod? Ragweed?
Beautifulyellow or trash?
Judgment &backlash.
My last taste merging My last taste merging
with mynext&next&next with mynext&next&next
leavingpalate vexed. leavingdesire vexed.
Empath lostinflood. Hands acrossmychest Runningoutofwords
Compationate safeonbank. whiletaking a peacfulnap. withnumbers nosubstitute.
Lover lifesaver. withnote tocheckpulse. I guess I'm alone.
Dying in eachnow. Dying in eachnow.
Reborn ineach then&when If welltrained awakening
ifnot intraining. as enlightenment.
Through twoscreens &yet
bold geraniumblossoms
still stunningcrimson.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Salt Voracious
Salt doesn'tmakefood Noappetite inallof transform'sdarklight
taste salty isas insatiable as a clock for memory.
it simplyhelps the flavor
findits way. Somehow havingtrickedsapiens
intobelieving sunriseset &seasons
Asif friendship insufficient fortheir sovaluedcommerce
asif love creating a horder parexcellence
makesyou intome collecting clingingto sacrificingfor
or me intoyou. the fecalmatter of undigested presence.
Gaskets Ifonly the wiseones couldagree
My insistence becoming touse theclock simplyas a tool
an annoyingdrip. tohelp you&me findeachother
in transform's hectichaos.
I'm goingtoneed to fashion
a gasket tostiffle my self. Wrecks
Somesapiens watch car races
Then if I still myfaucet just tosee the occasional wreck.
we maybecome lesseparate
&able tohonor our intimatedistance Some livethier wholelives thatway.
as love.
Touch
Hydrogen Touch the mostintimate of senses.
Hydrogen the onlyimmortal No intermediaries simply immediacy.
eludingboredom
by playingwithgravity Closeyoureyes&ears mylove
in creationsofworlds breathenothing but mybreath
ofworlds inworlds ofwonder smell&taste onlymy sweetrankbeing.
of lightning then thunder
of sentience as blunder Then touchme carefully
of entire set asunder touchme carelessly
by selfconsciousapiens. caressme with chasteintent
caressme with carnaltorment
Would I choose if Icould embraceme asif I was eternity'sbride
the immense lonliness ofthe embraceme asif youwereterrified
immortality of hydrogen? treatme asif you're a bully
but forlove'sake touchmefully.
Ration
To rationalize to disguise Be theboa constricting myeverybreath
tojustify withobjectivity thenbear thepall inmy welcomed death.
activities notwise inthe eyes
of organicsubjects. Greed
Greed speakingwithPride
To computerize asif a prize "Givememore ofyour arrogance
won bytheone typingcode MasterPride.
asif cyberspace alamode Letmecause moreseparation
longafter the icecream fromthe rabbleofother."
hasmelted.
Pride responding
Comeclean stubborneself "I fullyunderstand your request
without the abrasion of ration. HonorableGreed
butfear youmayoffend my dearfriend
Spoil yourself with softfoaming soap Gluttony.
to washaway allhope Sateyourappetite with Envy ifyouwill
of cleaning the graffiti &leaveme to defendSelf
of yearsofindulgence. againstLove."
IncestuousGravity Gravity'sConceit
Gravity that incestuous matchmaker Gravity as love causing lesseparation
melding stardustwithstardust in astronomic lust while yielding inpassing a richvariation
its parentingtwinkling inthe eyeofthestorm of of lifedeathdancing to transform'sbeat
fecundnebulae inits universal lifebreathconceit
creating (perhapsmistakenly) of populating the emptiness with
you&me. selfconsciousness.
Gibbon
Not a flockofstarlings as loveiswritten in movement
murmurating intheirlove in motion freemotion emotion
with Air. moving as lotionspread
on hand caressinghand
Not a shimmerinigshoal asif hand&heart wed
of herring intheirlove intheir smoothsilent gyre.
with Water.
Eschewing angles acuteobtuse
Not a candleflamedance inlove a lifeform of formlessflow
with Fire. the smallape mockingravity
& Earth'sinsistence on obesience
Gibbon inlovingplay withgravity by nevergrounding its fieldofcurrent
beingnoslave tomass as electromagnetic cataract
of Earth. as thunderhead singingaloud
......................... transform'senergy oflife aslove
Flowingthrough zoojungle forall tofeel through his flawless
in acrobaticalligraphy exhibition.
writing an ode to animation .............
in swooptwirlcatchrelease Gibbon
catchreleasetwirlswoop an elemental event
net enclosure an exclosure to him matching stardust'swhorl
a toy inhis dextrousairdance in uniqueness
from hangingstrap to eachfauxbranch &essence.
to delightzoogoers watchinginawe
CaveBear - 2 Choice
Cavebear or corporateboss Choice thefood of self.
flightorfight &allislost Gluttony at a price.
inan ancientreaction
to thenwhen's abstraction Better tosimply roolthedice
selfserving hopingtoavoid snakeyes.
at direcost.
But if snakes&eyes
Mountains aremy unbiddenprize
Whenliving inthe mountains then I'll slip legless&slim
it doesn'takemuch togetheballrolling. into transform'swhim.
And weallstarted ourlives Intuition
on a precipice. Intuition as sanitized
autobiographic memory.
Assume Subject subjugated to object
"I assume we're allserving the samemaster." in dualistic purgatory.
The saddestsentence in a world of peace. ......................
.......................................... Intuition as trainedmemory
"I assume we're allsharing the samebeliefs." Noneed for consciousrecall
The saddestsentence inthesearch for love. whilestriking the ball.
Alone
Reputation Empty
My reputation anexcuse I'm inside&alone.
for me tobe machismo
inthe worstsense Emptied
of selfdefense. I'm outside my self.
Muse
Muse a fuse burnedthrough alltooeasily Yet mypuerileself neverknowing
inthe pureoxygen of thoughtreality itcanonlybe whatitwouldwant
whosestrictures wouldstrangle allife aftertraining tostill allwant
withinthegarden of poeticbeing. with LiminalBeing becoming
neitherside of imagination
Let the Liminal bethe threshold nor mywhole as memory
ofall thenwhen&thisnow but threshold&breathold
separateonly by memory'sjealousy &fresh boldbeing beyond
tosee singularity whereonly a whole with languagefailing inthebond
exists of forgottensensing
andmyjealous self hoping I amreal &forgiving myself &other.
&thecenter of somethingbeyond ...........................................
butwithin mygreedyreach. Lusting distrusting thrusting thenhushing
................................... without evertouching whatis all&now.
Become Shade
If I could traintoforget Pleasedon't castshade
allsuffering in eachmoment onmyparade
then I'd become allsuffering ofpride in mytraining
&eachmemory it leaves. to lesserself.
If I could traintoforget Ironic asit mayseem
mylove &yourbetrayal I deserve a sunbeam
then I'd become a hardenedseed for myhours of sweat
never to germinate. withoutregret.
Interface
Interface of fertilizersoilseed that singularspringsummer
asif of sapienflorafauna animus beneath blossoming lilacbushes
inlovewith lesseparation within transform'sgyre creating futurepast of deeplyfeltnow
within&without cellmembrane cellwall inourfusion of hopelessimminence
profoundbeyond alldivisions immense withinwithout ticktocktime
purewithin eachinteraction. &without the languagelock
of truth's huge deception.
She hauntsme with puppylovepurity ...................
&purityofintellect sparked butsullied Romanticism at itsworst
by carnalintrusion. creating&slaking atonce an elementalthirst
inan elementalburst of tepidheat&dimlight
Afterall ouryears apart ineach eternalinstant with she as garden &me as seed
together ineach beginningending creatingtransforming
each a hotterfire thanany freshstar. EarthAirFireWater
in growthofeach
JoAnn as falsememory's truestbeing thisnow stilled.
havingneverbeen otherthan
Incline Batteries
Not a slipperyslope Batteries dont' runup
atall theyrundown.
but a mild incline
I choose toclimb Springs don't strengthen
onmy merryway through the ages.
from needtogreed.
If you must count
Andso inclined thewages of yoursin
I eatfood of ingredients refined trust the electriclock
&full of caloricbounty. whosepower
whether earthairwaterfire
Then I'm readytorecline isas elemental as desire.
inmy easiestchair
&indulge in a mostrare dare Pain
where I wear myheart Pain comingoing aswith mysleep onmy sleevelesshirt aswith the disconnection within mydreams
&blame the weatherman aswellas dreamasdisconnection
for makingmecold. ofmymemories.
HunterGather The intensityofdream drifting within thenwhen
Hunters inthe hardwarestore beingcommensurate withdegree of pain
stockingup on tools. where lengthofrepose is directlyproportional
to degreeofdiscomfort.
Gatherers perusingcatalogs
doing comparisonshopping. Tomorrow a yesterday&tonight
withfatigue suffering as multiplier
Each indulging asif in Eden of pain
whilebeingconsumers where mypain is truesuffering
inthe Amazon jungle. & I ask noquestions
I seek nodiminution
forthispain aslife allife is mylife.
**Post-Op** **Chiggers**
Post-op shoulder Mowingmylawn in shorts a bigmistake
jealous of post-op hip. causeing calftocrotch itching outbreak
as massesofchiggers those tinygoldiggers
Pain of former in crescendo miniature mitelarvas with hairlesstriggers
pain of later in diminuendo insectmisfits approach my privateparts.
asif a fugue of jointsinhealing
even as music couldbe appealing. Luckily theirwarpath was subduedbymywrath
as I scratced&scratched&scratched
**Wake** savingmygenitals from infestation
Post-op wake to view in mourning butleaving mythighs in ruination
the remains ofmy rotatorcuff. asif GeneralGrant wenton hisrant
leaving a scorched earth celebration.
Then at noon offtorehab
to strengthen what'sleft **Diabesity**
ofmy rightshoulder. Suffering cornsyrup desire
dying of overefined &bestial consumption
The unintendedconsequence livingoff fat of overharvestedwasteland
of bulkingup on onesideonly embracing morbidesire's alien bland
was kayaking inacircle. secreting antibile causingCheshiresmile
&abilitytoeat whatisn't there
Then after eveningthingsout whichyou'dthink wouldgiveme a mightyscare
powered on eachside I get a warning butinstead I simplyeatmyself
forcausing a mini tsunami on our no-wake lake. into&outof despair.
**Weight** **SixMonths**
Post-of workout with a onepound dumbell. Sixmonths after rotatorcuff repair
moving with fullrotation.
Dumb bell indeed tomy machonature.
Thenthetwinge &involuntarypee
I mayaswellgrab a canofsoup sendingme back formorePT
or a stapler. withouthesitation.
GivingWay Manicures
Having givenway tolove Whiteningtoothpaste &manicures
I can neverhave a takeback tryingtodisguise ninethousandyears
or a do-over. of tryingtobecome civilized.
Flaws mustbemade flawless. Usingthumb grippingdrum
Misteps mustbemastered. stickofchick whosebeak isclipped
soitdoesn't doharm toits penmates.
Counterweight mustbeplaced
on landmine ofmy mistake Then it's sacrifice
before she stepsoff. so I canchew itsflesh atnoprice.
Apologize. Organic
I will myfuneral tobe organic
Swamp with participants takingturns
Fulfillingwant creatingswamp. stuffing my dismembered bodyparts
Stillness as highestcost. into a woodchipper.
Better streamtrickling creating rippling Everyonecheering in childlikeplay
stillness neitherfound norlost. watchingmycorpse in finalspray.
Sleeping Men
She sleepingonmyright. Men are either predator or prey
the former usingwomen
But with post-op the latter being used bywomen.
rightshoulder pain
I can'troll to cuddle. What pitifulcreatures
of machismo or Pinocchio
Sure shecouldcome tome? the former flauntinghiswood
Buthat wouldn'tbe ladylike the latter wishinghecould.
I guess.
Denoument
Attraction to attachment Puppylove to commitment
desire'sfugue with twovoices asif a behavioral imprint
of self. asif a gosling following
the firstgirl that flirts.
Inexorably intertwined
beginningendings hardtofind Am I able to summonwill
amongchemicals in nearly or should I begin totrain tostill
homogeneousolution. &let eachrill suffereach hill
entering a river onwhich I canfloat.
Adrenaline to dopamine Orshould I buildaboat?
cortisol to oxytocin ..........................
attraction to attachment Attraction without attachment
my nervousystem in a spin my nongoal
withself as centrifuge until I canresist temptation'skiss
dealingwiththedeluge &loveyou without self's toll.
of hormonesindistress.
MyWords I Know
For entertainmentuse only. I know the limitsoflanguage
so often distractingme fromeach
Anysimilarities totruth or reality thisnow.
areintentional but unlikely.
I know the poweroflanguage
PTSD as self'stool toconstruct dreamories.
I'msuffering PTSD
havingfought solong&hard I know words as headstones
tobefree. inthegraveyard of my desires.
Perhaps asbest lovemayemerge Already
fromwithin the fogofthought. Havingbeentaught what I alreadyknew
havingbeenlead from fog into blue
Spigots nowfacing desertsky &desiccatedlandscape
Doesmytub stillhave twospigots? of cloudofunknowing fromwhich I mustescape.
Do I stillhaveto draw hotwater No GardenOfEden as refuge.
thencold No perfectability as reason's abuse.
inanattempt at tepid? No lifeternal as goldengoose.
Justmydesire as excuse
Wouldthat I could blendextremes for avoiding thework
atonce ofthismoment.
&stop the nonsense
of scald&freeze. Abhor
Nature mayabhor a vacuum
Insult asif lesself couldeverbecome noself.
Reciprocal
"Done in return." But natureloves a gradient
Asif to equal out? asif entropy not settingmefree
Asif duty? from anyhope for salvation.
Altruism So where doesthat leaveme
"Unselfish concern." butlost within transform'sgyre
Tobe engaged/involved myspinninghead spinningwithdesire
without desire &/or defense? for the stillness of a vacuum
whilewithin the peaceofchaos.
Neither empathy nor love
but something? SpoilerAlert
Not that thepast makeschoices
ReciprocalAltruism forme
Unselfish but that thepast is me
butwith expectation? asif I couldstill eachanyall thisnow
................. asif mydreams couldbecomereal.
Isthis another
"Trust but verify" Letme scan mypast &focus on
as an insult to &perhaps that "on" will become.
logic
empathy Promise
love? Please don'tpromise me
immortality
Roadside as a constantrepeat of self&same
Landing roadside sludgingthrough ticktocktime forever
untilblown to woodland more&more suffering
redoak's angularmosaic more&more pain.
anythingbutprosaic
in November lealitter Promise me instead a momentofthisnow
tapestry. emptiedofmemory entire within timelessness
an expansiveinclusive lesself wow
Grownfromtree withinpure withoutdoubt simplybliss.
foramoment free .................................
beforeflutter becoming smother Don'tpromise me immortality
in forestfloormajesty. allowme a moment tobefree
of time's incessantdrudgery.
Separation
The terror that can'tbekilled. Full&Less
The terror that won't die. Mindfullness Is bodylessness.
Treadcarefully &fullyconfess
Unknown to love. yourallegiance to belief
Unknown by love. as a savior.
Dirtiest Then takeyourlastbreath
The devil'sdirtiestrick embraceyourdeath
was toconvince me with a will frombeyond
that perfectionexists. yourgrave.
Now I'm onthepath StrawMen
to nowhere My intellect in a wrestlingmatch
allthewhile thinking pitting two strawmen in battle.
its nofair
thatmydreams never Asif Nature &Nurture werereal
cometrue. &reallyatodds
whenwhirling in dervishdelirium
Perfection tothedemands of transform'sinsistence.
Perfection in dichotomy.
Reality in continuum. Lighthematch.
Burnthemboth totheground
Choose to dance withapartner ofbeing as a billioncelledsapien
or whirl in dervishdesolation. tryingtomake endsmeet
as a synaptic cheat
Place inabrain inwhich thoughtsarefleet
A piece fittedintoplace &difficult toblend.
creating a newplace
for a newpiece tobeplaced. SeaMonkeys
Pulling a capsule from my "prisonsafe."
Thereis noend towonder Itscontents expanding like seamonkeys.
thankfully.
Thereis never a reason Writhing whileattracted bythelight
tobebored. making for a fascinatingsight
asif mywords couldcomealive
Analog simplybyaddingwater.
Tenforty is lookingback
at ten. TimeLapse
It's basically nostalgic. Asif timecouldlapse by willorwant
except in photography.
Twentytoeleven is
lookingforward Leavinglight in while ultrastill
totheadventure resulting in realfake image.
of eleven.
Notunlike my desiring
The digitalworld with my self baskingintime
dragsthepast withit asif timecouldlapse
while I choosetolive &hold what I will&want
in analogoptimism. beforeitscollapse intoreality.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Seeingnoproblem Seeingproblem &yet Seeingtheproblem.
because I am asif other unable to reallyhelp. Offering nocompassion.
while empathizing. Showingcompassion. Beingstill in love.
While dumpsterdiving Is thispill giant Coolsmoothceramic Clock onourmantel.
young raccoon staringmedown ortheotherone tiny? Who wouldnotsuffer cleaning Sundail onourgardenpath.
fromtheotherend. It'stough getting old. such a worthythrone? Wheredoestruthbegin?
Whatarethechances Caterpillarcrawl Kickingbrokenbranch
that I'mhere &that I'm now? herebyhere&nowbynow onour midday dogwalking.
Isthereanyother? then whenbywhen flight. Oldgirl justwatching.
Lonecawbird squawking Across stillstreaming Cars at hillbottom High backhandvolley
louder louder louderyet. from leafcrown afterwindburst clustered asif curlingstones surely swandive of tennis
Thensuddenly still. a secondshower. crowded at target. as aviangace.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Slippery BattleField
Words are slipperypigs Are winterwoods a battlefield
&whenyou penthem strewnwith bare stripped fallen?
you'dbetter wearboots
or yourshoes aregoing When snowgraced is winterwoods
tostink. a heaven aspromised
whitewashing mysins?
Becareful whenfeedingthem
or youmaygo headoverheels Then fallensnow darkening
inpride overperceived bonmots withdebris of mydesires harkening
withoutsmelling yourown to summer&fall havingforgottenspring
fouledclothes. asthebeginning of goodevil.
StepBack NEXT
Stepback foramoment. Relax. Takeabreath.
See whatyou'reseeing as somethingdifferent.
Then seeyourselfseeing &takeanotherbreath
because whatyousee may takeaway thatbreath.
Then stepforward forget itall &getbacktobreathing.
Tolerate
Hate
beinglonliness
firedbyself.
To tolerate
asif I'vemastered
mydefenses.
Howcan I quench
mythirst for dominance?
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