WhileWaiting Source
Whilehanging onhis crossofself God is the source
waitingforsomething tohappen who has no source.
pilgrim consideringchoices. ThomasAquinas
Tobe River'source being mountainstream.
1. misanthrope - but I'm notreally Mountainstream'source being springrain.
angry Springrain'source being surfeitclouds.
2. curmudgeon - thoughmiserable Surfeitcloud'source being ocean'smist.
I'mnot untutored Oceanmist'source being coolingclouds.
3. hermit - but I don'tblame others Coolingcloud'source being oceanmist
4. recluse - perhaps mybeing springrain mountainstream river.
is chosenisolation.
Nosource yet transform'sforce
Pilgrim reconsideringchoices. as elementalbeing
in star's stillburningsight.
Tohave
5. nervousbreakdown - but I'm kindof Nosource but prideless eternaltorch
relaxed blinking longforgotten paganlight
6. PTSD = but I haven'tsuffered asif a day wasnot a night.
trauma
7. insanity - an answer to PerfectPrayer
whatquestion? Love's perfectprayer
8. suicide - buthow lackingwill isin thefire
tofuel commission? consumingself
&self'sdesire
Eight nonchoices while ifchoosing tobe theflame
nailsfastening evermore securely. lightingnight
beneath will'scloak
GodFather forsaken. aswants conspire.
Commiserating with GodSon.
GodHolySpirit lost toinability Will beingfuel
tocount past two. of self'sconsuming
leaving ash only
I waitingpatiently forlove's sweetblooming
countingon mydeath inlight ofall
whilesuffering. my deeplove's looming
within lesself'sbeing
Or withblindingeyes
trainingto notcount for emptyseeing.
atall.
Pure&Simple SeekNot
Notforme your pure&simple If a savior youseek
naturepromising nothing with salvationforgratis
forcertain. through graceasgrace
asGod's greatgift
Nature'sokay forthose lackingwill butcan't butdoubt
failingtorecognize her certainkill. yourplea to authority
Letmelive in labyrintheofmemory or fearfeel of intuition of a
existingastransform'srefugee. Trojan horse
Letmyimagination run scotfree thentrain forthemarathon
toward anychosen sanctity whose endlessfinish
aslong asthere's a guarantee thoroughlyfatigues will&want
of eternalife for you&me. tillgrace lostopace
as I amble fullable torun
Basicsurvival being nature's way withinout of eachmoment's
yet nature givingme powertopray. unholybreath.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Friends afterthematch. Friends duringthematch Just memyself&all
Butnow onlyone canwin helpingeachother perform creature of twentynine limbs
&it willbeme. creatingbeauty. oneracket noball.
Rounded greenoakcrowns Stallion underpines
surrounding eight brickchimneys in a field fullofdarkspots.
above woodshakedroofs. Flora or fauna?
Steppingintostream Plungingintostream. Vanishinginstream
shivering eachinchdeeper. Lungscollapsing heartstopping. ifonly myself allow
Backingoff for warmth. Surfacing screaming. immersion in now.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
WhatHappens? II
Whathappens to GodFather whathappens to GodSon LeafGodbeing backyardhoops withdad when elementalbeing is fullyembraced? fretfulfun&heroworship
Theyfallaway as petal&leaf in drivewaynarrow perfectworld
self's fear&questioning finallyeffaced of notgoodenought then alibi'slip.
yetmay liveon eternally
as belief's temptingchaff. Then ontobrother &pseudo teamball
needingtobepart butwanting toshow
Livinglife eachseason rootsprouting as stem ingame foughtwithin aswell aswithout
newleavesgrowing as nurture&need whileseeking lesself in smooth fullcourtflow.
for newlife's sunlight as freshflowersform
insuringreproduction throughnew fruit&seed. Inglory inlimbo being blanchedpetal
strugglingtobalance both D&O
Sungreenleaf givinglife throughmyspring trying being¬ inmy summerofquestion
protectionfromstorms comfortingwithcare secondguessing whether togive or togo.
feedingmycells as I grow within itsnurturance
yet that unmovingmiracle unmoved by myprayer Learninglanguage from summerbrother'stongue
withoutknowing hisreach neverfeeling histouch
for a meetingofminds on scarecrowcross mypetals wilting in summer'sdrought
with creepingdesire a stangling strawvine notusing stamenpistil inmy headlongrush.
for lifeverlasting in logicoflove
for strength ofallbeing that I cancallmine. Playingon playingas mylife fullofwords
askingfromcross for a voice I canhear
So I glory inpetals of unfailingperfection withmy I beingdeafened by desire'sdemands
a flower sofragrant beingmyown sweetbreath. leavingonly lonliness &emptyfear.
Selfpollinatingpride on crossofreflection .............................................
becoming fruitseed till summer'self choosesdeath. Yetmygame islong fullofright&wrong
.................................................. withmyflowerblossoming in contests wonlost.
Whathappens to GodFather whathappens to GodSon Parent'sneverwatching I play inthisnow
when elementalbeing is fullyembraced? unknowingamnesia is lesself's highcost.
They fallaway as father&brother
livingnameless&fullyerased Playing season's end stripping my finalface
yetmay liveon eternally of then&when &alwaysabove.
if bound to memory. Atlast livinglesself with effortlessgrace
at one with emptiedall &full of allove.
They livelives eachseason as youthfaces age
buildingstrength toface eachday's freshtask
of choosingaflower beingeach bee
creatingfertilebond of freshfamily.
*************************************************
**VolumeOfAge** **Turkeys **
Even longafter prostate reaming Dogsniffing unaware of strangecacklingnoise
&diminution of fertilestreaming likechildren at recess absorbedwith theirtoys.
nostill in desire for orgasmic(non)creaming. Butwehadbeenwarned of turkeys sobold
they'dfrighten yourpets &leavechildren scaredcold!
Ignoringnature's nonchalance
thinkingmypassion intime growntepid So aswe walkedthrough thiswinter's barestbrown
stillflush with transform's eternal urge wecouldn't holdback our quizicalfrown
&procreation's endlesssurge. whenhearing withoutseeing whatwe hadbeenfearing
Tongue turning from enhanced wordsofseduction gobblegobblingcacophony across the nextclearing.
to substitutesucculence as salaciousecretion
for a satisfyingissue foreach fatherissue wench Thenpeering through pickupsticks branches&trees
though lackingsubstance of semen'squench. the onlymovement wesensed beingcaused by coolbreeze.
But turningaroundstealthily seeingbrazen soundmakers
Firingfromfull abdominaldamnation feelingfear whenfacedwith clawedavian breathtakers.
dopaminedomination dousingreason tostill
wantingnot oxytocinbliss Surrounded itseemed by poltergeists of feather
demanding fullest foulmouthedkiss. callingourdogclose sowe couldall copetogether
whilefiguring allfactors relieved astheraptor's
Lettingmother ofall betrayedinnocense din becamethin whentheirforaging movedon.
know well myfetish hasn'tgonefetid .......................................
still my lust'swill nosucklingchild Andso the legend of flightlessfear
still fullblown &blowingwild. increasing witheach nextround of beer.
PrayNow
Arewe supposeto praymore now Now facing yourend ourend
because of lovesapping cancer? in oursin of oursin
by malignantgrowth of sincerity
Shallwe holdher inourprayers insincerely I beg for me asyou prayforyou
asifprayers hadfingers askingonly for visitinghours.
asifmyhands couldheal
ormyheel couldstomp Asif toask when I canbecome
ravagingcells? yourlife &pain &death.
Asif unpracticed&unprayed
I can'thold. I can'tpray untrained untrained untrained.
underpressure of mortality. Asif I canbe anything otherthan
same same same
Who in God'sname do I think I am selfsame selfish &alone.
tograce hersuffering withmysanctity?
Whypray atall to a personalGod
Howdifferent was yesterday ifnotasking for personalforgiveness
whenmyprayer was diffuse for being a person
& intruth insincere for needingforgiveness
sinceyou werenot dying for starting&ending eachprayer
& I wasunborn. asif starting&ending a thought?
....................................................................................................
I thought while lostinthought
I couldavoid unmercifulove
&thus your mercilessuffering&pain.
Shameonmybrain.
Shameonmybrain
Howcan a prayer inmyhead
help her trapped inherhead
where noprayer cando a
damnedthing?
Perhapsprayer mustbeunheard
unsaid &nevereventhought
duringvisitinghoursonly
&only withoutflowers.
Fear StopPretending
Fearing Homosapien in eachallofus Stop pretendingfaith
wiseman perhaps but rarleyotherthan an excuse for notlearning
wisdom couchedinpotatoes an excuse for notworking
germinating as flowertops an excuse for selfindulgence.
pretendingfruit perfectlymoral
&seed Unknowing beyondreason
undeniablyimmortal. is felt whiletraining to stillness.
Love instead aslife's heterosapien Withoutrestraint
no wiseman but betterthan allwill becomesclear
with wisdomcouched in earth'srootcrops with allwon't dullingmyfear.
before germination as flowerless tops
living nonmorally &lesselfishly Ultimate
as elementalbeing. Desiringlifeternal
my ultimatesin
MoralAuthority wantingtobe forever
Seed overtree? You overme? &forever God'stwin.
Roots beneathstem? Me beneaththem?
Born in Hisimage
An author of oralkind hoping&praying forever.
looking whatwouldhefind
of kings&gods theletter M Increasingmypetition
makingmymajestymoral? thecloser I'mgetting to never.
Myself'spower moraltoo Dimmer
as I towhy &then whynot Christmastime
since my separation a tragic dimmerswitch
nearlycomplete. increasingeffulgence
of holidayspirit
Separate I canclimb&see tillwaking onthe26th
from highestcrown of tallest tree nopresents
that seedislesser &root&stem nocarols
&flowering also is lessertoo nohope.
sterile blanched scentless senseless
yet whollyunholy sapien. Simplystill dark &stark.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Intramural games In convertedchurch Walls as outofbounds.
at our illfundedcollege. threepointarch centercircle Choir our weightsroom.
Brutecompetition. merginginprayer. Stage for closestfriends.
I too amrevenge Takingshot I want.
as story of tallgrasses Self untrained&unloving
death hiddenwithin. written in largefont.
Suffering. My test. Suffering. A test Beingsuffering.
Winters come&come&stay towhich I knowtheanswer The ectasy ofmypain
without a Christmas. &knowing suffer. beinglove atlast.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
CrossOfSelf
Finallybreakingdown fallingfrom mycross Finallyjumping gravityletting go.
in heap of misusedappendages fused tomypast. Dense floatingfeeling of beingmoreless.
But I'm willingtolearn serving newboss Suddenlylost in transform'sflow
before willing&serving became mynextloss. umbilicalsnapping me takingablow
Standingbefore then circlingaround while crashingback againstmycross
taking a peek at what'sbeyond. stunnedbyboth light&dark.
Feelingwarmlight softwhite surround Sharpainofglare mygrowingcost
a lifewithin butneverfound nonknowing atlast myself's lastloss.
beforemycross as puppetfool Atlast beginning my finaltraining
without a knife to cutmystrings to severcord with willess sword.
then onmycross cruelration's tool Enteringlight of I's deathflaming
beforemyfall exposingjewel. intorealm of nevernaming.
Yetstill afraid to findthose of lesself Is myox becomingtame?
quitting mydreams as leadingman. With everylunge mycord stillholding.
Afraid thatwilless I wouldbehelpless Yet everymoment a recoilgame
notknowingfreedom of beingwealthless. tilldazed with indifference a blanked self&brain.
Tying a bungee aroundmywaist Then staying as gentletransform'sdove
justincase changing myplan. lettingtie becomemybind
Unabletofathom what I faced holdingall belowabove
perhaps needingtoreturn inall duehaste. in rapture of simple emptiedlove.
Lost StillHanging Self'sSoul
Lost in thisnow Waningcrescentmoon Self fearinglifedeath inits separatecellsuit
I'm praying. stillhanging inmy studywindow positingmemory tosolve foreverafter
No. Evenmoreso longaftersun has fullyrisen in righteousabsolution
I am simplyprayer. onthis Eastermorning yet fearing forgetfullness
or anyother. with neuralnet'sdissolution.
Lost in thisnow
I'm in KingdomOfHeaven. Unknown Soul as sanctifiedspawn of memoryforgot
No. Evenmoreso Sapiens facingtheunknown conferringeternalife fromeach goodGod'swill
I am KingdomOfHeaven. labeling it with familiarity. with Spirit as His thirdface &sistersinner
Fish - Clown. Dog. Flying. ofcontrol incontrol
Lost in thisnow Spiders - Meshweaver. Blackwidow. separating in judgment each you&me
I'm all &God. Birds - Laughingull. Baldeagle. from transform's healingwhole.
No. Evenmore Gods - GreatSpirit. FatherInHeaven.
&muchmuch less. LordOfLords. KingOfKings. Soitgoes devil's longdesired win
self unknowingsalvation as this simplenow
No this. No now. Pleasing myself isolating each I with fearofdeath
No all. No God. withmy chosing pseudolife within compost'sdepth
And never ever anthropocentrism breathing thenwhen's stagnantbreath.
lost.
**Indisposed **
Papertowel dispenser asif indisposed Eachpull resulting in four fingertowels
indiscreet inits stubbornimmobility. with brownscalloped edge above.
Eachpull resultingin multiplescowls
Indefensible asif indispensable as I'm leftwith partialpaperglove.
whileflaunting indelicate delicacy
creating indelibledamningchagrin Atlast a solution usingbothhands
tomy proudefficacy one palmup one palmdown
eachpull resulting in jaggedtear a foolproofplan tobeat flimsybrown
asif a dare inmyresolution while realizingfullwell that onehandclapping
for restitution formy simple effort couldnever haveyielded
todry mybleepinghands. a smoothunwrapping.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Evenkitchensink Threesquirrelschasing
in debrispile on frontlawn among seven entwinedcrowns
postrenovation. thendown clusteredtrunks.
Spatter from mypee Trailingband's tourbus Orangedots on greenslope.
landingondense spiderweb &its equipment trailer AutumnHalloweenharvest
sparkling asif dew. a lonely fartcar. or I'm drippingpaint.
Walledshearface or slope? Steelridge on strippedslope.
Its engineer'sdecision Seventeen gianthaulers
&worker'sduty. waitingfor nextload.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
LegsOnSnakes WhoCares?
Lesself'seeing seeingonly thisworld Singularmonster roamingmyearth
thanknogod forcourage mythicalbeing of supernaturalseeing
tonot embelish. havingitsway with whatis.
Eachbeing oneseason atatime Unknowingother
pure simple ineffable lifewithoutmother
unless myself seeingmore separate&alone.
withmemories joiningivory
in fabled elephant'sgraveyard Ifonly a naturaldistaster
mydreaming joininglight&heat couldserve asitsmaster
at funeralpyre of desire forcing thatonly toembrace
becoming ashenremains. hisbrother.
Supernaturally articulatedpencil Ifonly bybeinglonely
creatingagain what I neverwasnot cangods bringustogether?
graphite encasedinwood.
SpiritMind
Space Spirit as MindbeyondMind.
Havefaith inspace Mind as SpiritwithinSpirit.
as outer rind.
Howcouldheaven SpiritMind MindfulSpirit
everfail toprovide? fullof alleternity
&my eternaldesiring.
Havefaith inspace
of innerkind. It'salltrue ifnot atallreal
Howcould I ever pretendingjoy withoutitsfeel
failtosurvive? words replacingdeeds
wants replacingneeds
Leavingearth emptied within SuperNatural Illusion.
findingfulfillment elsewhere
asif SoSerious
lifeternal earned&free Whydo weplay the gameof apart
be an oxymoron asif earthneeds onemoreself?
or an irony. Better tothink ourlife a start
of something moreorless.
Seed
Seedofself yieldingfruit of judgment Thinkingnot becomingsmart
nourishingonly heaven's hell. forgetting I whilefeelingwhole.
Arrogant misunderstaniedng of Eden'smystery Cultivating transform'sart
comingfromapple that convenientlyfell ofbeing all&one atonce.
at feetofsapiens headless till Then celebrating singledart
feelingneed tohave a thought aimed drunk bylove to targetlove
&thinking a single thoughtlessact without my brain within my heart
being caughtalone enslavedtofact of thatwhich can neverbe separate.
facingfirsthand originalother .....................
beginningsearch for being'smother Self battingblindeyes
whoeven in embryonicgrowth seducingme with lifedeath
neveshared placentalblood. inworld of transform.
.....................
Fleshseed growinghard in soilofsuffering HigherPower
annointed initsown stonecold bloodred. Thoughtdistance between
Even earth'star couldn'thelp thoseliving God&me
where rainalone couldraise herdead. an infinitesimalinfinity
lessthan Michelangelo's
Dyingfully trustingseed's lifeforce Cistenegap.
burningself'scoat of growth throughtime.
Leavesbudding&spreading nourished with my ash Thereis nopower lessthan I
inviting tranform'slife of thisnow's eternalflash. &none greaterthan you&me.
**MADaboutLAD ** **TheySay **
We sodo wanto MakeADifference "Theysay if 60 isyour topspeed
hedgingagainstfaith beinginsufficient youcansave a bunchonfuel."
to guarantee LifeAfterDeath.
"I candothat" mysister insisted
Wouldn'therebe eggonmyface sounding heroicallysad.
if I onlycounted on blindestfaith
cruisingthrough mylife untrained "I'mcertain youcan you leadfootedfool
asif myprecious I totallydebrained but youdon'tdrive thatoften onstreets
onlytofind tomy sorrow'surprise zonedforschool."
shortlythereafter my timelydemise
mybody exuding blood bile&spit
butnever a trace of HolySpirit.
Ten NotMe
Four I's Top ninereasons
onelove to notbe a Christian.
fivewarnings.
Commandments:
Howdid myparents Me
makethecut Me
beingneither self Me
nor censure? Me
mymama*
Did GodSon No
or GodSpirit No
whisperlove No
to domineeringDad No
to abjure omnipotence No.
tolivebeyond fear&trust
tolivewithout tear&must (*I don'tgetit either.)
tolivewithinlove's
eternalstardust?
DIVINE VIRTUES Naming
Faith: Me. Forever. Beyond picking&chosing
Each softspringshower a joytofeel beyond winning&losing
withall atpeace inaworld tooreal. namingbeing our sinofsins.
Racoon jay crow reapingwhat theysow
inaplan judgedperfection inmy mind'seye. Pickingapart transform'slife
inventinglie of ideation
Hope: Me. Someday. chosing thisfromthat titfromtat
Eachspringshower a prematureflower lies hell'sgate as idolcreation.
as rabbit wren &tanager cower.
Frozenbud rapednest starvedeer forall I know Name FatherSonHolySpirit
leftalone withmysigh justme &mywhy. bowingtoicons of speech&thought.
Charity: This. Now. Famed FatherSonHolySpirit
This shower thatcrocus &always the caw in name&naming
awakeningourworld toits unwrittenlaw. whatself hathwrought.
Seedingarden with wellweatheredhoe
thenback tohouse &familialflow. Racing
Thoughtsracing
H.Sapien with nofinishline
Subbingmorality for fatality insight
homogeneous wiseones asif
challengingreality seeingisbelieving
fullyexpectingimmortality inwhichcase
if&onlyif I choosetobelieve
I treats self as minealone. &
finishmygame
Judgingfaithlessness intime.
as abnormality
sapiens driventobrutality Christmasyesterday
whenprotecting theirvanity asif
of infinitevitality mythoughts in eternalplay
fromanyhint of finality. coulduntear wrappingpaper
or putneedles backontree.
Homosapiens bettingon rationality
to understandself &other'spersonality Theyusedtodie
emphasizing individuality butnow it takes
asif myself a principality. a fewseasons
whatwith
While Heteros unseeking endlessate suspectcraftsmanship.
unknowingclearly their cellsuit'sfate
needn't count on divinity's blindestdate Lights firstogo
with allother being thisnow'smate. then bendingunbending
of branches
Soitgoes as Homosapiens show takingitstoll.
deepurefaith as selfisness.
Allinall
Soitgoes as Heterosapiens unknow tiptop angel
thatlove isin the lettingo. livingfarlonger
thanmyfaith
Religion &anything
Itsbeensaid otherthan
thatreligion myfirst
keepsthepoor perfect
fromurdering present.
therich.
Confidence
Itmayalsobe Losingselfconfidence atlast thanknogod.
thatherich Losingmypride &faithwithin.
controlpolice Forgettingwhere beliefbegan.
&armedforces Unknowingit as startofsin.
intheirarrogant
atheism. Distractedbykeeping myeye ontheball
shadowofselflost tolife withoutSon.
Commodities Fatherforgotten fastserve searingbrain
When rabbitsdeerbisonfishfowl simplebeingprevailing as ThyWill is undone.
becamecommodities
sodid ChristiansMuslims Losingwinning &losingloss
HindusJews &allother hitting somanymoreballs onthenose.
of anydifferent Beinglesselfish nonconfidenceruling
shapeform or color. becomingchoice butnot what I choose.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Happening notdone. Askingthegolfer Hearingleavesfalling.
Isthat thewaylove iswon "Howmuchmoney didyouwin?" Or coulditbe coyotes
in unjudgingworld? He turns walksaway. closingin onme?
Love v. lonliness Music withoutsound.
degrees of separation. Idea sansargument.
Fear causinghatred. Poetry justhis.
Remember eachact Seekingcheapgossip Nearby squirrelchatter
whileforgetting eachactor. inorder tobe likethem. windingdown like a child'stoy
Becomingeachact. Whathave I become? as I sit to still.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
IfYouSeeHim Immortality
IfyouseeChrist in HisHolyLight Supernaturalbeing
gougeout youreyes forget thatsight. not necessarilyimplying
a supernaturalbeing.
IfyouhearChrist's mostperfectsong
sliceoff eachear forthey've doneyouwrong. Letmeindulge in mysticism
whilemaintaining my superioratheism
IfsensingHim with tasteorsmell notneedingGod toget what I want
cauterizethoseorgans sent fromhell. inmy privatereality of desire'sfulfilled.
If HisHolyTouch youfeel If alongmyway I happentoforget
burnyourflesh don't letit heal. then letmecontinue mypirouette
perhapsdizzying beyondcomprehension
IfyouknowGod inyourheart whileliving in perfect inattention.
reachinto yourchest tear thatmuscle apart.
Jesus
Ifyouknowgod inyourbrain Jesus as sapien - a cellsuit fullofmemories.
lobotomize thatorgan becomeinsane. Jesus as Christ - intellect's self.
JesusChrist on cross - eternalseparation.
Ifyourexcrement stinksofSavior Jesus beyond cross - lesself as love.
eat thatdung &allpride'sbehavior.
PickingChoosing
If youself be effulgent with emanation Mymemory a bible.
train todim &muterevelation. Somanystories suchrichscriptures
forbuilding an elaboratemansion
RightWithoutWrong within landscape ofmydesiring.
Fearing unanimityofminds
seeingangels&devils as differentkinds Myriadchoices for constructingtruth.
doomingour singleall Choosingsans reality's strictures.
tobe¬be being'spall.
Memory my bible ripeforpicking
Beingdevils unholyadvocate onlythefruit suitingmytaste.
keepingevil alive in facebeatific
rightwithoutwrong being songwithoutsound HowDare
our worldofwhirl in silencehorrific. Howdare singdeath
with Indiana fogshrouded.
Eachangel'sflight a fightodeath
eachdevil'sfight a flightfrombreath Raptors&rabbits in primalflight
at bestworst a beginning a thisnowablation unknowingtransform's gifts
of emptypuresight of eternaltransformation. havingnever soughtrefuge
in churchorstate.
SideShow
Comeone comeall Tornadoesforming in emptysky
parents bringyourchildren threatening silos&spires
children bringyourfriends &fields of thiseason's corn.
seewhateveryone's talkingabout
feelfear Tasselswaving between raptors&rabbits
smellfear being lifedeath inface ofsame
tastefear whilesapiens of church&state
see&hear fear huddle in stormshelteredself.
don'tbe afraidtoscream
don'tbe tooproud tooweep. Rhyme IfGod wrotepoetry
Yourverydestiny what formlessness
iswithin this tent. wouldHe nonchoose?
Suckup yourcourage. Knowing His
Youknow youcan'tresist. pastpresentfuture
Satisfaction or moneyback. unboundbytime
rhythmwouldbe
Enterboldly&meetyourfate. impossible
butHe'dbefree
Pulpit tomake anyall
Mycross mypulpit rhyme.
symbol of mysuffering .........
challengetomyself IfGod were more&less
tohang tobleed todie thanthought
slowbylittle fatbyfiddle whatwouldHethink
startbymiddle stopasriddle of Himself?
risingunrisen failingdecision
choosingwithoutchoice And wouldHebe
singingwithoutvoice merciful?
precisionincision
excisingexorcism Pleading as thoughtexpiation "Loveme" theyplead
for lifetimes of feedingdesire. through a cracked
secondstorywindow
Fermentation frominside theirdrama.
It'snot thewater in alcohol
baptising eachnewsoul intobeing. "ServeMe in evelasting
innocense&blessedness
Oursenses needhelp overcoming &I'll counthat aslove"
goodsense. comesthevoice
fromabove
Eschewingchlorophyll withme onthestreetbelow
destroying ourgiver'sbounty knockingon a bolted door.
drinkingpoison in Hisname'sake.
Atheist
Watertowine no trick atall. HavingfacedFather
Beingunderitsinfluence havingembracedSon
waytooeasily. havinghungforever
on self's unholycross
Random atlast an atheist.
MayitpleaseGod
that realitybe MyShadow
simplydisordered Myshadow movingwith mybody still.
butnot random Mybody at ease thus noact of will.
sothat I canhope Lesselfunknowing earth as spin
to someday understand unfeelingpossession
&find peace&love asmy firstsin.
asif myunderstanding
transform'smyriadfaces Allshadow inmotion allthought instill
will inform my desirous self alwaysteasing inits worldofwill.
will Lesself as myself's harshdiscipline
&conform tomy defenses. transform embracing eachbeing as kin.
Belief Impotence Defense
Belief&believer Impotence of God isin knowingall Offense isnow.
moredistant cousins lackingdistance tojudge my trip&fall Defense iswhen
than sorrow couldimagine fromgrace fromface of sindevildeath whichmustbethen
or grief couldconjure. sentencingloveonly with beatificbreath. beforehappening.
NoGod NoKarma Flying
NoGod yet moralcausation Unabletosupport expectations
asif elementalbeing injudgment scriptures&strictures unabletosurvive
holdingme accountable. the elements
flyingbuttresses firmlyplanted
NoGod yet reincarnation holdingerect God'spropriety
asifnot lifeternal &heaven'spromise
to cowardsofdeath. where elementalbeing beingtoogrounded
tobe blownaway by selfrighteousness
Asif mydeath desire &defense.
aninsult tome &meonly
undeserving harshmoraljudgment.
Sexuality
Fullcircle then God beyondphysicalrestraints
no universe canbeunfair yet burdenedbyperfection.
no nature canbejudgmental. Purefemale.
I cannotdie Puremale.
withorwithout
God. Genderambiguity ironically
impossible in world of belief.
TheAll
Did TheAll exist Genderconfusion ingenuously
before sapienselfconsciousness? apparent in world of reality.
ForsakenChrist as fallowgeist Retribution
separation as severance Death as retribution
of root to stem tothose unfaithfull
makingeachother todesire.
into them
TheAll becoming Certain of immortalilty
desire'sthrall yet no wordback
indefenseof fromthose setfree.
sindeath &
devil'spower. Christians&Buddhists
"Christians and buddhists often find
Rebirth themselves in agreement on the
Rebirth isn't reincarnation. values they hold."
Myflesh mymemories
goneforgood. Invalue is judgment.
Inholding is attachment.
Elements of myflesh Judgenot.
beingfreed bydeath Letgo.
becoming perhaps
a part of someone'spast ToDrown
insomedistant Fish drowninginair.
eternity.
WhatFather would
Distractions allowthat?
Twodistractions from doingthework
money&God. Beingallpowerful
&knowing waytoomuch
The former simplycellulardesire. itmustbehard tobegood
Thelatter feedingdefense'sfire. allthedamnedtime.
Eitherway nofeltneed totire WhoCares??
mypreciouself intraining Multiheaded disembodied
tobe lessme. tootruemonster of supernaturalseeing
havingitsway with mysimplebeing.
HoldFast
Holdfast to yourdream Knowingonly its sacredfaces
forlike divingduck blindtothers of simplerkind
itcan liftyou tosky I unprepared toface theirfind.
todie onthewing
or dragyou todrown JesusChrist
as rednosedclown Christ trueGod.
wherefloating is safestbet. Jesus realsapien.
Credit JesusChrist reallytrue?
"Christians giveGod allthecredit."
Madepart of supernatural.
List foursins in abovestatement. Madewhole in simplynatural.
Havinglisted foursins Forgery
washout yourmouth Sol beingforge farbeyond
withsilence. my faintlyfevered desire
mydivinity beingforgery.
Jungle
Lostinjungle Asif inmy wildestconceit
seekingGod'shelp. I think I couldmatch
transform's primalfire.
Reaching for friend'shand.
.................
Sittingpatiently LastToGo
untilmypatience Self lastogo
islost. longafter GodFather GodSon lostdivinity
&GodHolySpirit waslost in infinity
OrderOfCross MatchingQuiz Self retained its Supernaturalvirginity
1. Beforethecross a. dance within mymemory's pantheon.
2. Approachingthecross b. music
3. Onthecross c. philosophy Clinging to mysticism
4.Beyondthecross d. poetry convinced of reality'schism
5.Forgettingthecross e. psychology bearingsuffering of separation
6. Forgottencross f. theology failingtopay due reparation.
Selfsurviving atallcost.
**PostOp** **T&A**
Sixweeks post op No Tits&Ass
on rightshouldersurgery. for myaging brass
phallus havingetired
My leftarm asif partof
startingtoaskquestions. 9-5 tedium.
**Perv** Tired&Achy
Mydog isn't a perv. for my flaggingmass.
Passions havingexpired.
Itsjust thatyourpockets Restbecoming
flank yourgenitals ruleofthumb.
&she'slooking foratreat.
Nativity II
Whathappened to mynativity Having trainedbeyond myprivatecross
placedsogently undertree childhoodfaith havingbeenlost.
inyouth infaithin salvation'son Now transformimbued with selfsubdued
whocame&went butwon'tevercome rejoining mythless holiday.
torescue agingyouth indoubt A naturalacceptance ofeach natalday
with Santabecoming commercial lout withcelebrants now notkneeling topray
&Jesus myth of lingeringwish just breathingin just breathingout
for personalimmortality? without anyfaith without anydoubt
Whathappened tothat naivete that birthdays come&pass inpeace
held sofirmly by everyme? eachworthy of a banquetfeast
Have I grownout of faithinhosts eachday asempty aseachlast
nolongersinging my selfishboast? eachmeal another believer'sfast.
MyPower FlameHeatAsh
Mypower I power Flame heat ash
toliveforever in His sin threegods for young&old &those
neverlettingloose HisSon. beyondthecross of self&same
beyondthecross of egofame
Mysin I sin burningcompletely leavingfaint trace
todie atonce in Hispower ashbeingblown over facelessface.
lifeternal ifonly withoutme.
Flame'shypnotic flicker
Mysticism heat's envelopingliquor
A hint of subduralsoul swellingmyhead leaving littlevidence of defense
suffering fromreality's imminence. of thatwhich sings insilence.
Positingmysticism as self's savingtrick Heatofpassion heatof I
is self itself asif onecouldpick searingheat causingcry
a reality tofit one's immortalneed. of thoseforsaken&alone
thoseburned throughflesh
Positingmysticism to save a selfthat'sick &blood &bone
inaworld of tangible mortar&brick leavingash asonlytrace
alone with alldead inaworld ofthequick. ofwhat oncewas a tooknownface
beingscattered by transform's eternalwind
Oraworld of lesself's intuitivehealth overthose who'veforgotten
loveundefined loveunrefined they've eversinned.
being elementalwealth.
HalfAsleep
Somewherebetween awake&asleep Myrace tobethinker thinking&thought
betweenworries of work &visionsofsheep myrace tobejudged labeled&bought
musclestwitcing caughtinspasms &sold alwaysempty in marketofchoosing
as memoriesmobilize in dreamworldchasms. wherecountless winds causelosing
of sensed
Thoughthoughts losing grip onmy freefloatingship sensing
adriftsomewhere between harbor heaven &hell. seeking
Thoughts alltheirown from pastime&pasthome sought.
heavinghigh heavinglow with eachconsciousless swell.
In sandless senseless lesselfshifting
Not trying untried thoughtswirling collide beyond sin cross &shiplesslisting
ephemeralsculptures of water&wind of rightwrong onoff updown leftout
untilwill formsfromwon't desirefromdon't
with saltsprayannointing both sinners&sinned. awake asleep aware yet soweak
my I becominglost in eyesofstorms
Shipwrecked&bobbing in sea cold&warm with theirtheir's beingtossed in islesofnorms
head swirlingwithgulls legs in sharkswarm
nonthinkingthoughts of revenge sex &greed until nothings areleft in shiplessailing
feelings unfelt fromfeeling finallyfreed. until lesselfglowing in transform'sunveiling.
..............................
Finallyfalling fromgrace of torn humanrace Dreamspasm'sover thought's becomingsheep
&the originalsin of separation&losing forgottenself notcounting becoming deepsleep.
myrace tobefree myrace tobeme And inthat deepsleep a muchdeeper silence
to sindaily in memory speach &being. forgivenself notmounting personaldefense.
Naming GroundBase
Naming being SinofFather. GodFather as groundbass.
Thinking being SongofSon. GodSon as melodiclyrics.
Desire being Spirit'sWish. GodSpirit as harmonic color.
....................
Thereisnoname to transform'sway Transformpulsing
nothought tothink mutedshrillness
nowant towish waltzingsilently
justhisnow in threequarters
a smile stillness.
a kiss.
AreNot
Beyondmycross noHoly noSpirit NoHoly noSpirit
FatherSon who were arenot. noFather noSon
Self as separation simply elementalbeing
finallyforgot. within transform'sgyre
as ephemeralnow
Spiritself barking as eternalnow
its soproud SuperNature as thisimplenow
toanorganism beingsold lifedeath as mythicalcow
inmarket ofchoice jumpingover
freewill's loudestvoice fullnewmoon.
in auction of idea .............
in arena of ideal Myfather lost in
withfate toowellknown selfpity.
as Sin Death &Devil'sAppeal. Trinity lostininfinity.
..............................
Cleansing Worship
Myfather unforgiven living at arm'slength. Worship
NoGod wouldplay that role. being devilishdesire
givingoverall lestall beburnt
He leftme withoutconfidence in mypersonal fire
toface the cross needed to forgesword
& I certainly can'tplay Jesus. needed to slayself.
What of HolySpirit Worship
synthesis of immanence&transcendence? asif someoverlord
Can I play It inmyimagination's labyrinth couldsaveme from
being as untouchable pryingprayers of petition
as mycraven soul? each a sin of sowillful commision
asking muchmorethan
Gnosticism? Mysticism? Mind? strength to notpray
Isthere nosilence I coudappropriate? whereonly my self
hasanyting tosay
Letmeget a pailofwater beyond
a sponge "I don'twant to train."
&soap.
ForSelf
God&afterlife Yetmemory is separation notwithoutstanding
dreamories having then to protectme
of self having when to preserveme.
as self
forself. I rememberingindignities
expecting recompense.
Somanysins in commission I rememberingyou
hardlyever an omission expecting reciprocity.
of my willtobe .........................
lessthan alone. God&afterlife
dreamories ofself as self forself.
Yetwill is separation notwithstanding
God to protectme When ifever will I forget
afterlife to preserveme. my belovedself?
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Threetimes whilesitting Twelvepages to prove Bepatient youngself.
allowinginsect entry conservation is holy Polish yourmirror slowly
into reverie. on onesideonly. lovingtheimage.
Angry. Arguing. Seeing stripskyline Fountainspouts selfless Justbeginning sit.
Foureyes yetstill noseeing. whilelistening to frogsongs &when the musicbegins Bug flyinginto nostril
Heads rattlingwithself. in Vegas canal. what a dance theydance. &outofmystill.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
SundayPrayer
Wearing mySundaybonnet prayer Startingmyprayer endingmyprayer
parading my faithin forthemasses. &inbetween beware beware
Praying myway during pregameplay mywish intruth isnot a want
that myteam willkick myopponent's asses. &God isnot my privatefont.
Prayfor becoming devil'sbride. Startingmyprayer endingmyprayer
Praywhen knowingwell myprayer mustend. willingmyworld if I should dare
Praywho murdering eventhosefew tobe theone &onlyone
trusting inmyprayer &me. tobe mostholy secondson.
Prayingthat that will turninto this Yetprayer trueprayer so veryrare
&this be betterthan anyother. isboth mybreath &all thinair.
Praying I'llwill death of it Nostart noend whenfullyaware
&it notbe my bloodbrother. oflungs&love whenself strippedbare.
Foresaken Disappear
Stopping on stairlanding Devil's&gods disappearing from a field
between first&secondfloor where bothfrown &smile are identical
ofmyfirst dormroom. for inthatfield frolic colts withoutconscience
creatures mostfeared by law &thosecynical
Lookingoutwindow for insameness theydestroy suffering
to parkinglotbelow. leavingtime only for joy.
Watchingmyparents Fatigue
pullaway fortheir ridehome. Am I saintly when I amsimplytired
Withoutme. ofbeing Jesus
atlast lettingo mydesire
Foresaken. to letgo mydesiring?
Then I knew how Jesusfelt If truedivinity be trainedforgetting
&why GodFather couldnolonger whatgame canbe wonlost in fatigue?
punish.
Canlove beborn of frustration
Storing fallingforward into yourarms?
Squirrel in oakforest .................................
storingnuts Letme rest thenrise to suffermore
knowingheaven trainingtoexhaustion self'sconstantwar.
can'tbe asfertile Resting&rising until memoryblurs
as thisnow. whilelost in a houseofmirrors.
Me betweenbreaths Why? storing memories WhyhastThou forsakenme
fearing hereafter Answered as asked.
mightnot liveupto Unfathomed if grasped.
my expectations. Time havinglapsed
into separation
Noah questionmark confirming
Needingjustification my damnation
for speciation asif goose askingwater to float it
surely an embarassment asif duck askingsky to fly it.
to omnipotence.
Thou&me come&see
Was sevendays what sin is allabout.
toolongshort?
Doubt
Ifnow is all&all in a singleday I ate that damningapple
thenthis drabdusk mustcertainly be digesting knowledgeofknowledge
myone&onlydeath. knowing in no uncertainterms
the termofmysentence
Each momentofdeath each momentoflife in languageofseparation.
now within now beinglived&lived
with each drabdusk being transform'sall. Sowhy GoodLord hath I forsakenme?
........................................
Hurting thisFriday Saturdaypast Notbathing in shallowstream
memorysacrificed with halfgods fast. butgazing into stillstillsurface.
NowneedingYou or perhaps you
So needing thenwhen or maybe a pieceofcake.
of GodFatherAlmighty.
....................... Tohell withcake giveme icingonly
DearGod I needtokneel&pray &wishthisday sugaring myself with cowardlyindulgence.
wouldend wouldend wouldfinallyend
suggesting a promiseoftomorrow HowdidChristfeel comingoff ourcross?
couldcome couldcome couldfinallycome HadHe forsaken all&all
&go&go&go&go reliving withoutremembering
&come &finallygo. HisGolgatha of selfconsciousgawking?
........................................................................................
Eachdrabdusk another suffering&death
each moreinnocent thanthelast.
Through
Seeingthrough stainedglass
ofmybelovedmemory.
Howcould I possibly
notbeblind
to other'smisery?
---- END OF GLOSSARY 1 - 3----
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