<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Strippingpeelingbark. Midmorningsunrise Priviledgedaccess
Shakingoff seasonsoftwigs. through elaboratestainedglass. or opentothepublic?
RiverBirch windstorm. Setting againstbrick. Will I hide my self?
Tryingto wingame. Seeking perfectgame.
Attacking injuredplayer Attacking injuredplayer.
togainadvantage. Creatinghero.
Tirerut as icerail Waitingpatiently Icyflakesfalling.
middleroad theonlytrail while I layer againstfreeze. Lacyflakes flutteringdown.
safe for myfootfalls. Seasonless tailwag. Crackling or nosound.
Forestofstainedglass. Lastweek's mosaic
Nofloor ceiling wall window is thisweek's neighborhoodwatch
&never a cross. alongwith fallsun.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
WhenSnow
Snow blanketingleaflitter.
Wastherenever springsummerfall
forme todreamof or recall?
Howbold death as fragilewhitelayer
thinkingitself final beforearth's tilt&wobble
neverinerror as transform'sbobble.
Cuppedbrown leafpalm
cradlingbabysnowflakes
beforesun's complete ethicleansing
beforesun'sheat completelydepending
onourunknowing
nature's law of laws.
Stoneroad's southside Icerink like roadruts cracking to footfall
notindulging winter'spride or whimpering to overnightmild
puncturingwhite with either/or randomtransform
staunch yellowstraws promisingnothing to noone
protrudingbeyond allbut in eternalnow
mostpersistentfall. ofthis seasonlesseason.
WordDying AtLast
Word dying before inkdrying. Atlast anotherbirthday
Cries of father butnothing comeseasily
toodistantdull forson. evenwithage.
Spacebetween eachletter Just morepatience
timebetween eachline moretime for notdoing
galaxiesbirthing withasigh moretime tobestill
breathing breath of stream&pine. having sparetime sospare
seeingbuttons&zippers I'vecreated
Onlynow can lesself live bindingfabric ofmylife.
onlynow canlove beunknown
in eternalinstant between thisthought Atlast timetounbutton timetounzipper
&agonizing lonely barelyheardmoan. timetopull thethread unweavingall I'vewoven
undoing all I'vedone
BeingRight uncovering allthat I'vehidden
Beingright bringing nolight becomingwhat I alwayswas
toheart of he whowaswronged. before my masquerade
ofyouth
Dividedbyfact lungsfallingflat ofstyle
heirtothrown being throwntoair ofsubstance
hitting finalserve doingservice to noone ofself.
tonothing butknowledge itself.
Carrying
Beright&recite my littany of loneliness Wiseone carryingkarma
written inlanguage of laserlikelogic inhis backpack up longpath home.
incisive derisive toheart of he whowaswronged
longingonly fortheright tobe loved Judgingburden worththeffort.
by you asyou areloved byme. ...........................
Fool withoutbackpack
Tree dancinghiswayhome.
Fallingmute crashingtree
no earstohear no eyestosee SavingPrivateRyan
howcould rationalsapien knowthatunknowable (The movie.)
withoutlesself nonbelieveing randomtransform'sfable? Ohwhy ohwhy ohwhy ohwhy
doesmy patheticself&I
Fairforest maylive &be elementalall keepbreathingair an elementaldare
but sansbodyofcell nonhearingitscall soprecious &sorare sorare
canlife beyondbrain be reality'srefrain whensomany othersothersothers
languagelost in self'sirensong ofdesire? areflesh nomorenomorenomore
are forgottenmemory&alone
Yet inself'silence wordbecomingnote &flesh nomorenomore?
sans grammar&semantics pure rhythm&rhyme
a silent mouthlesshout as transform'srout Paths
beingeachperturbation without anyself'sdoubt Builder beingwise
feelingwhatsapiens wouldneedtoname when definingpaths
&in naming failtobecome. across newcampus's
.............................. quad.
Clearly then it'sfallingunfallen
&justasclearly never heardunheard. Becoming lesself
disappearingincreation
Bib studentneed becoming
Wearingbib. concretecreed
Catchingslobber with wellworndesign
from undigestedreality. appearing withoutplan
across shadelessgrass
Vomiting History to Science
when blockedesire Sociology to Psychology
can't beswallowed. Physics to Culinary
all ways tolibrary.
Diarrhea fromdead
innerflora After first academicyear
havingbeenpoisonedby builder makingpermanent
self('s)pollution. the willessway
of student'snochoice
YouMust &necessity'svoice
Youcan &must of howtoget there fromhere.
change yourself
to moral from amoral. Timeless
Shecouldn'tell a lickoftime
Youcannot butmust eachpieceofwork was picturefine.
change yourself Nomatter hourordayormonth
from moral to immortal. shecouldn'tsee the clock.
You can&cannot Shecouldn'tsee its minutehand
perhapsmust herlife flowinghushed like fallingsand
but maybenot eachgrain a piece from transform'srock
remainyourlesself slippingthrough her hourlessglass endlessly.
as amoral
as mortal. Calendarplanted but nevergrowing
eachmonth of snow&summer glowing.
Seasons Cyclingtransform of seasonspast
Now oursuncoming almostsecretly lostoher in lesself'sflowing.
through hundredfootoakleaf summeroof
through spreading deckawning poplar Letting then&when &also now
to pottedplants &bonsai spruce. eachtick a first&finalbliss.
Herbreath beingall &endlessthis
Thenthesun foundahole inourfirmament eachtock a firstlast finalkiss.
&a holeintheground forour hometobe
visited morning till almostnight Pie
anyseason ofouryear. Is the lastpiece ofpie gone?
Whoate the lastpiece ofpie?
Now movingnorth &falling straight Didyoueat the lastpiece ofpie?
lightstill notoften penetrating Youate the lastpiece ofpie!
to undergrowth&overgrowth
throughcanopy above. NoWay
Is there noway from A to B
Morningtoevening springtofall buton the arrowoftime.
bringing middaydappling &dawndusk glow
&onlyduring winterdeep Perhaps A&B will cometome
can southernsun begintocreep if I canmanage toresign myself
through limbs&trunks &enter transform'sgyre.
tosparkle icrystalsnow.
WinterWalk
Eventrunks werewhite Overhangingbank cut razor'sedge
&branchrootrock with wallofsnow settling butforsun
ourveryair allwhite. with itsproudjoining of marchtosea
Evenmystream bubblingwhite beingfound throughwhite&hiketobe.
at boulderedge of
frostwhitebank. Umbrellalimb savingsnow from melt
&meltfromflow just eonsbelow
Bubblewhite bubblingcreaming swayingless for weight&wait
like myairlight airbrightbeaming certain willow wisp&fall as fate
snow stoppingstill stillinmidfall mottledpocksgone into liquidstate
stoppingstill onair&all as self fallingfaint in plainestsight
dark inglowing swiftinchill catching&holding foratime in drylight
selflessight&eyeofwill compoundlimb overhanging theway
dottedwhite&stillinstreaming nowdimming&hesitating to everpay
flowing its seasonless pathofseeming.
untilslow sunmelt or fiercefreezeblow
Allthis mustbe youth's wildwhitedreaming forcingfinalmoment of forgiving
sun's coolwarmth of summerstreaming forgettingravity&lightheaded I
allthis ourfall &baptismalploy allfalling melting streamingtosea
of swimmingdog with swimmingboy dissolving youme into flowofwe
now lickingflakes from spreadinglakes allbeing as sky fallingnomore
of graycloudcover&gentlyfalling forthis finallyfallenfool.
fillingfont of family'sjoy
in elementalmoment pure.
**Urinals** **PaperShortage**
Urinals hunghigh on restroomwall With the amountofbathrooms
notextending alltheway tothefloor inour industrializedworld
perfect for wimps notwellhung atall couldn't our papershortage
whohide topee farfrom entrancedoor. bereduced by harvesting
toilet trees.
We realmen need extralongporcelin
whatwith our hugeprivate petalien Toiletries yousay?
beingdifficult totrain cuzlacking a brain Oh well nevermind.
my extralongdong prone to dippindrain.
PianoPiece
Beginning as nocturne a nightsong to noone Loud&louder fast&faster
then she appeared &transposed mykey playingsong of springofrite.
aswe became a pulsingprelude Soft&softer slow&slower
toall of passion'smystery. songofplay on wings of flight.
Sittingbeside&sittingupon Loud&fast touch&tempest
ourbench of shamlessensing flow in key of willesswill
straddlinghips of arms of embrace till crescendoing to rhapsodicfinale
withhands playingbeat at Boleropace. &detumescence to finalstill.
Clothes shedinhaste during fourbar rest Then silentpostlude as nocturne to noone
prelude turnedscherzo in throbbingnest havingturned into fling of nuance&new
of pubichair where publicprayer &peace&love of music'smagic
is also bannedaslewd. of madnessofmelody&rhythmsofyou.
Monotone Buried
All springsummerfall Tobeburied or cremated?
birdsbickering in sky. Deadisdead&livingisliving
eachwovenasone whenself isgiving
Comewinter thegrace itscells totransform's saving grace
of chillewinds makesthem one worm'smeat or ashes mysame
inair onwire facelessface.
theirsymphony
of amorphoushapings War
spreading linear Faith creatinghate.
still Hate creatingwar.
montone. Self buildingwalls tobedefended.
GlassGlobe Howbetter todefine mybrother asother
Fumbling glassglobe. thantobelieve mydreams against his schemes
Shatteringtofragments. asifmemory morereal than now.
Reassembling with glueseeping Judgment rife beginning ourstrife
creatingseams as mosaic holybecoming holierthanthou
of shadesofhues wholebecoming hollowhow
of redgreenblues tosuture ourselfish separation
inlovingembrace of pastunattainable &convert my sacrosanctmemories
nolonger whatitwas into entwinedundergrowth &forest'strees.
perfect inwhat it is.
OneInAMillion
Unique Oneinamillion means
Dribbledrawdish about 7,000 justlikeme
scoreormiss onour crowdedplanet.
what'syourwish?
Rewind. Being playgroundhero.
Playing in districtchampionship.
Dribbledrawdish Then HighSchool. Then college.
dunkorfoul
orpasstoswish. Then Vietnam always a Vietnam
Bekind. where education talent &being skilled
doesn'tguarantee youwon'tbekilled
Dribbledrawdish within ambush or randomexplosion.
shootorpass
poundtheglass. But there'safety in numbers.
Eachall
entwined. Being oneinamillion
there areabout 6,999
Againagainagain unwilling todie inmystead.
in transform's
randomunique
design.
Rendering
(Thanks MaryBakerEddy.)
"Jesus urged the commandment, allbeing thisnow
'thou shalt have no other gods before me,' beyondspace
which may be rendered: outoftime.
Thou shalt have no belief
of life as mortal..." Speakingintongues:
A guarantee of
Whichmaybe rendered: Thou shalthave divinity
no lifeasmortal asagod inmybelief. or
divineinsanity.
Whichmaybe rendered: Thou shalthave
immortality outsidelife withineach Should I believe?
eternalmoment. Should I run?
Should I follow?
Whichmaybe surrendered: Thou art thouless Should I lead?
as whole isallbeing with self as emptied imperfection.
(Don't blame me.
Whichcouldbe pretended: Lesself beyond sin as separation MaryEddy
is godless willess meaningless hopeless. started it.)
ButFor GlidingSail
"But forthegrace of God go I" Snow blowingacross icedlake
so I gave the stoplightbeggar dressingwind forall tosee
a coupleofbucks. its swirling whirling
beingfree.
Sharing? Distancing?
I stopped. And me onskates a glidingsail
I couldn't ignor. unknowntofates
I gave. whowould ride&nail
....................... myjoy tothem
Subbing at HighSchool. then rail&rail
Sitting for a minuteortwo against the bitingfreeze.
with the unlikelyGoth
who seemed alone. WhyInvest
Whyinvest withthe financialteam of
Without a thought "Sin Death &PowerOfTheDevil"
ofthebeggar at the stoplight. when youcan't takeitwithyou.
........................ Andanyway nobodywantsit?
If notfor a shitload of goodfortune
Iam ingoing. Once I return my
stardust&flame
Self'sSoul &evenrelinquish
If self had a soul my preciousname
or should I say I'll be emptiedof future
hadcreated a soul &who would thinktodrink
its soul wouldbe belief the dregsofmypast?
in anything ithad created.
I'd ratherspend my
And self'sheaven would illgottenbooty
havetobe at a priceless spa
a gigantic flatscreen TV sweatingmy I away.
running a closedloop of
the dramedy Thenhave what'sleft
"AdventuresOfMe." wrapped in a robe
soaked in thisnow
Complete tobe wrungdry
Why intrust my complete thoughtwealth by transform'smangle.
with a scoundrel of suspectmentalhealth?
LoveMe
With nointerest togain hisinterest comingfirst Loveme shecalls
myaccount dwindling from badtoworse. &I cannot.
But if I trainaway trust acceptinglove
he'llsurelylose hisdesire formyemptiness Lovemenow withall
yourpassion
as I becomepoor as church&mouse atonce &I willnot.
not scurryingamongpews for pieces of prayer
spilledbypenitents in abjectdespair Coldgust
whentheyfeel thier deity doesn'tcare. throughopencollar.
Buttoninghappening
Becoming pureasmouse in wildflowermeadow in lovingtrust.
neverstopping tocount his naturalwealth
or give nothought to hisownhealth RiverSong
beingunaware hisfield is prayer Lifeshared aschild &youth&aging
&he islost in heaven. tooslow tosee the constantchange.
Speedboatsummers on soft stillriver
UseLogic stillflowing across a longer range
Uselogic as a handballcourt
where twoasone play ricochet thanyouth couldfeel or understand
justforthesprot fishing&skiing the riverwide
&fortheplay. knowinglengthonly in dreamsofdeath
knowinglifeonly from sidetoside.
Usethought asachild ..................................
uses TinkerToys. Emptybargesbound to baregraybanks
procession only to fleetingcars
Uselanguage onlyifyoudare racingtheriver in summer'sheat
&then withgreatestcare. laughingatcurrent in slowdefeat.
Usereason as elemental all Now theson &memory'scrossing
beingentle nowthatfather's dead&gone.
&never judgmental. Bridginglove &bridginghate
onelastime the river'song.
EachLake
Eachlake sending its flamingsignal T&T
puffwhite amoebas of middayheat Thumb&tongue seducingyoung
towaft withintransform's wildemptylove. whoaregoing fromsuckle to selfdefense
whileliving in past&future tense.
And I seekingsolace
beyond my mirroredmemories Thumb&tongue reducing theyoung
searchingbeneath my narcissusurface tolife withinself's singlesense
of calm&calm of still&stillness of feelingdesire at love'sexpense.
todepths nohope canhope toknow
reaching silent lesself'slife below The weightofchoice
thatwould ifitcould becomingtheirvoice
without myunknowing with thumb&tongue
blind allneed to see&see becoming a noose
dissolve allwill tobe&be which self can never
leaving lonely I bobbingaimlessly loose.
convinced that I amtrulyfree
whilefate'sresolve Time'sBanner
constrains eachme Trailing from time'sarrow
intheshade ofthelake itsbanner failingthus:
of huge&empty love. meaningpurposehope.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Choosingtobelieve Choosingtobelieve Life withoutbelief
asif no motherfather whilefalling to certaindeath just thisnow again again
&no nativetongue. confidantoftruth. transform sans self'sgrief.
Number uniform Onceused uniform Thirdhand uniform
nothingaltered nothingtorn searchingfordiplomacy soakedwithsweat spatteredwithblood
waitingfor a war. in a worldofhurt. emptied of life limb.
Shooting for shirts skins. Choosing shirtsorskins . Shirtskins nomatter.
Playing on if win. Playingon if win. Nextgame lastgame justhisgame.
Afraid tocall foul. Calling everytouch. Nocalls fairorfoul.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Stats
Rememberwhen wethought pointspergame inabook guaranteed alwaysincomplete
defined a player's claimtofame though comparedtothen burstingreplete
despitepercentages from field&line
asif pointsthemselves were somehow divine? with pointspergame comparedwithpercents
shotsmade inwhatquarter againstwhat team
Readingonebook knowingalltruth ina blowout or nailbiter garbagetime or timetense
onefact inhand wasenough inmyouth whilesharingball or feedingdream.
butfailing inface of breadthofbeing
evenif all on barstools agreeing. Caught inheat of actiononfire
parsingparts in forestwithinforest
Advancedanalytics becomingtherage bestpossibleoutcome of statsontherun
each singlestat becoming a page istorelax sitback &havesomefun
disparatevoices becomingchoir
eachrefrain a oneasall gyre.
Forgetting Haircut
Sapienbrain consigningsame Shampooing
tohell of introspection. conditioning
combing&cutting.
Selfbecoming memory'sregret Alwayscutting.
withbrain forgetting toforget.
Unless I'm
Language oureality reason ourfealty lettingit growout
failingtofeel whatmemory can'treveal perhaps adding
whenthen was now with nowound mustache&beard
to heal. or lettingitall
growild.
HowLong?
Howlong diditake hairless ape Or
totalk abouthimself? simplify
Andwho waslistening? cleanshaven
&shornscalp.
Howlong willitake selfish ape .........
tostill internalchatter Wouldthatitwere
Uwillitmatter in nature'selection aseasy
ofwho staystrue &suffers? dealingwith
ofwho staysreal &survives? mydesires.
Prodigal
My prodigalbrain Now it'sgoodness
movinginto basement intruding onmymeditations.
addictedtoself.
Playing videogames Iteats withme now&again.
eatingjunkfood Iteats atme constantly
neverseeing lightofday. certain onhow I shouldbehave.
Ifonly it wouldstop Itwon't moveout. Ican't ignor it.
botheringme with Howdid I notknow
its patheticpast itwas myold nemesis self
asif I haven'tenough thisnow disguised as righteousness?
to distractme from mydesiring
when I was greedy ofmypride Howcan I breakthenews
unable toletgo mydreams of perfection. tothat sternparent
thatI'm leavinghome again?
Now I'm eatingjunkfood .......................
&watching sameoldreruns Freeatlast trainingtostillness
suckered backinto stagnation. neveragain the prodigalson.
GreatestLove
Greatestlove all&all&all&all withinchaos of sprawl
of all&all&all&all beneathsheet of lovesosweet
is massformass where nebularfragments embraceasone
inattraction blinding sparkingthefury of anothersun
inattachment binding anotherstar in infinity'sfirmament
as greenleafseeding anotherpassion in lifedeath'slament
as greenleafreeing anotheropportunity for me torepent
as grassforfeeding for livingalife of discontent
lifedeath'sbreath in exhalation as mymemory's minion
lifedeath'sflesh in exaltation needing self'sconsent
ofgyre of transform's multiplemutations wherelove canease my torment.
from nebularsparked sun
to sapiencellsuit's run Where trainingtostill canbe the balm
atbeing with massofbrain healingthesutures of lesseparation.
atlife with memory'spain Wherelove canfuse myself&other
whilefighting lifedeath'sflow invain creating an alloy of chaos&calm.
with loveofmass&grass&all
transforming lightheat Whereattraction can enlighten.
intowhat I caneat Whereattachment canbe temporary.
in sanctuarygreen Wherebreath&flesh canlive as kin.
ofmyself socold Wheremass maycreate a sanctuary.
in heatofserene
Dentist Woodpecker
Reality as dentist Woodpecker flittingfromtreetotree
pulling meaningpurpose. knowingless of hurricanes flying windfree
Lesspainful than weavingfalling through felledflatforest
despair&suicide. into angular barkbranch tapestry.
Love as dentist In fallingrising being smilelyfacedflight
fillingcavities cheering thisnow afterthatnight
where faith&hope when windsacute spun turbulentdeath
werefestering hushingeach birdsong &each
relieving thedesire smooth breath.
for eternalife.
Watchinghimfeed among freshlyfallen
Trained for insects under peelingbark.
Trained Waitingtosee whichbranches maybud
chalkboard erased hopingtosee returnoflark.
crowdnoise muted
conscience clear LoneBeing
judgment unknown Ah lonebeing soselfpossessed
withall &alone. selfreliant within transform'sgyre
with allother lonebeings
Choir singingwithoutwords selfpossessed
brainworking but selfunheard selfreliant.
memory dampingrepetition
grantingtransform Ifyou standinline a littlelonger
carteblanch permission youcansit inthe firstcar ofthe rollercoaster
todance alone
inthelight in wind&wild lift&fall
of swirl&curl curve&cling
thisfullmoon. asifalone
butreallynot
OutLoud whenbeingfollowedby
Laughingoutloud screams&laughter
at my self in despair. contrail toyour jettingemptiness
asif
Whatajoke theirheat theirhumidity
thinking I canbealone couldconspire tocondense
while miredinmemory intoyour flaggingfail.
withall myoldfriends. ......................
Ah never lonebeing pouringfilling
My rememberedfriends thinking ridingtransform's amusementpark thrills
thisjoke is certainly onme being firstcar&lastcar &eachcarinbetween
byme wildwindlift&fall swirlecurlcurve&cling
ofme screams&laughter
while they arealldancing contrails jetting
splashing inthepuddle heat&humidity memorysweating
of mytears. nakedself
........ beginningforgetting
Seek worldlyimperfections in breathlesspeed&emptiedneed.
lestyouthink thisis
heavenonearth. Transforming
Born into fear of becomingsun.
Seek painfulattitudes Growing in fear of becomingVenus.
bluntingself &righteousness. Aging with peace of being cooledearth.
Then laughoutloud in utterdespair Lifedeath as soil
unwilling unwanting toletgo eachallpair of eternalbirth.
will&want
defense&desire ColdLight
meaning&purpose losingpalette
while burningbright in eternaltransform's of hotlight's reflections.
brightestflare. Crowds of coatsofmanycolors
baring allbut propriety.
Puzzle
Sheknows hernumbers Becoming boldlight
butnot inorder of chemical efflourescence.
countinghorses inher Crowds of conceitsofoneglowinghue
tenpiece jigsawpuzzle ofme fallinginlove withyou.
one two twelve seven nine.
Coats&conceits
Hersister is twelve. Herbrother is nine. becoming rainbowmoon's
Notelling where theseven camefrom. pot of riches.
Sheloves tobeswung byherfeet MorningAfter
hairdusting thedog until lickisses Morningafter gameplayed.
onher fouryearold pendulumface. Whatagame it wasis willbe.
Then to kiss&bekissed Neurotransmitters drowning
by reverent mom in thisnow's thenwhen
beforebeing upswung formingtruth fromreality
to hugtheholder. untilfinally pleasingme.
**Cruising** **HighSchoolCruel** (Sorry)
Cruising Highway 40 Ourband couldn'tchance a roadtrip
nosetonose with cow forfear thatour flagirls
on eighteenwheel threeheifers&a lamb
cattledrive. might in a momentof
gustatorystress
Passing bungeecorded cannabilize the skinnyone.
conestogawagon.
**Drugs**
Beingsmoked by What'sallthis I hear
oilburning clunker. about a new "miraclemedication"
someosortof bigpharma snakeoilpotion?
Beingslowed by
construction Theyclaim if used twicedaily itwill calm me
weather like Wellbutrin&thelike without sideffects
accidents &is affordable evenwithout insurance.
touristraps
& Meditation yousay?
JohnLaw. OK. Nevermind.
AllegoryNot
When I waxpoetic in pointlesspointillism
rain is rain I wouldpoke with self'sbrush
neversadness adding yourtouch towhat soclearly
or wasmine
fertility willbemine
but
stars are stars nevereally is mine.
never lostfoundsouls
or Waxingpoetic
coldburningdreams notpaintingtoes
on centipedes&millipedes
lakes are lakes mistaken for manylegged snakes
neither teardrops (but nevermistaken for
nor Biblical devils
mirroredmoons. or
Fruedianphallus's)
Waxingpoetic butrather trusting the leglessones to
usingsymbols v. symbols slitherwithgrace
attempting toknow &
each thinginitself slidewithsimplicity
for immortality'sake within eternaltransform
without a secondorthird take. or
through barnslates&haystacks
No desiring spiritsoul fakes huntingdown hotbloodedprey.
inthisworld of nowasonly
ofmatter ¬hingbutmatter
matteringnot my ephemeraldot
Tides Accident?
Hightides lowtides Memory creatingself throughbrain
springtides neaptides usheringsapiens intoan abstractdomain.
dirurnaltides semiurnaltides
ebbtides floodtides Self creatingseparation&corporealpain
even redtides withwish flyingfree fromreality.
mixingtides&missingtides
asif sun'sminnion wouldplayfair (I thought if I took twentyshots pergame
inmyworld of justice we'd win &I'd gain widespread acclaim.)
both confusing&rare.
Self becomingaware of body'sdissolution
WordSearch burgeoning sapienbrain providing a solution
Comingfrom nowhere creating disembodiedmind todefeat brutetime
howcanit be fair affording me eternalife.
finallyseeing whatwas alwaysthere
whilecamouflaged in letters. Mymemory embracing thenwhen
with thisnow swirling in transform'sgyre.
Totally embarrassing
notseeing eachthing Realitylost in memory'slabyrinth
withself as guidextrodinaire withme indulging indreams ofdreams.
unneedingfaith oreven prayer
toknow mywaythrough (I'm averaging seventeen pointspergame
thelabyrinth of language. barelynoticing defeat &mylostfame.)
Totallychargrined I alone livingforever alone
sendingme tobegin withlanguage weaving intellect'shroud
some easierpuzzle godspiritsoul takingtheir mortifyingtoll
I caneasily win. withme sufferingmyself soproud.
AbsoluteZero
Love isnot love when Borninto turmoil
written asmy personalpurgatory.
spoken Desiring flamingabsolute
felt. asmy personalhell.
Self isnot self unless Forgoing purgatory&hell
written gods
spoken souls
felt. afterlives
In stillness cooling vapor becoming rain transform'sgyre beingtepid
lessmotion no deities
lessheat no ghosts
lesseparation no desires
lesself. lifedeath of lesself being
nolife atall
In coldstill rainpuddle icing nodeath asfall
leastmotion simply silenceoflake after springrain
leastheat stillness of forest cloudedin dawnmist
leastseparation earthairfire perhaps mostlywater
mostlove. creatinglife tomakeallbeing a bitbroader
for you&I to dance&sing
At absolutezero motionless with elementalbeing as our plaything.
emotionless
noseparation. Transform unknowingcondensation
unknowingseparation
Isthatlove atall? beingmotion withoutfire
being absolutegyre.
FirstLanguage Orgasm
I reallydon'tknow how bright heis What does a vagina
because Separation isn't his firstlanguage. havetodowith
VirginMary?
Asif tulips are morebeautiful in Holland.
Asif thesun shadows all foreigners. What does a penis
Asif mylove lessens with increasingdistance. havetodowith
........................ penitence?
Tworoses were exchanging wittybanter
till a bumblebeewhispered Whatdoes an orgasm
to one then theother havetodowith
causing flower toforego seed&fruit oblation?
muting theirdiscourse
however amusingorprofound Thus the riddleofthe sphincter
&dullingflower's fragrance&hue. excretion&retention inasingle organism
aidingmyrecollection asif a cistern
Pollentoegg duringtheir palaver forall the sex ed I didn'tlearn.
pollination beingbeyond
verbal flirtation. Sothebeginning of myslowburn
allsacred melting becomingprofanity
Truth within sapienplumbing's
truth isto reality paradoxical insanity
as while livingalife of pleasureshame.
judgment isto love
......................... BirdCalls
Logic "U'tilize U'tilize U'tilize U'tilize"
Deduction - from gloryofGod DueDuebird desperatelycrying
to while BoBobird withabrain
giftofselfconsciousness biggerthan a turd singing
wanting "u'ze u'ze u'ze u'ze"
protection now
& ReSense
perfection when. Seeingonlybysun.
Sun down seeing in darklight.
Induction - from transform'sindifference
to Is nightlight dreamonly
horror of selfconsciousness or willatwork or daydisgorged
causing for newselforged infire of intent?
suffering thenwhen as self
or Collectingscraps for melt&reform.
lessuffering now Creatingnewnorm fromwhat
as trained lesself. I choose to resense.
Cowardly NoWhere
It's a cowardlyauthor From nowhere
who won'tprovide a glossary weedbottombay
of their arcane&or overlycreative bass
jargon. flash
inhalingmylure
Teambeing > sumofparts = gnostic. &mydesire's allure
Na + Cl = salt = gnostic. inhaledbyme&me alone
Trainedlesself = nongnostic within nowhere
&nogospel tothetrained. withme waiting
for myboat tosink
Whatisthinking ifnot a description myself toblink
of neuralevents? atwhat I thought allalong
wasreal.
Defining
Inchoate I Now mycellsuit
dadnoticing my wellmuscledthighs a sacofsea asalways
beingcomplimented on beautiful jumpshot transforming into
chosentodefend varsity pointguard whatit neverwasn't
told betterthan neighborhood friend winterglaze
teammate saying I shouldscore in doublefigures. becoming
summerhaze.
Undreampt
becoming lightningquick comboguard. If I
If I sayTheName
Others definingme. artThou Real&Here?
DesiringForm Poetdaring & indaring
Matter desiringform isform stares flateyed unflinching
asif into mirrored memoryworld
mycellsuit however misfitting ofmemories of mirrorimages
is sanctified as purposeful where
asif thought all&only
I shouldlpray formysoul being oh solonely.
& eternalife
flyingintheface of thisnow's
grace.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Visitingneighbor Armlesswireless pole Nocrossbars nowires
hopingher cellphone isdead. nowjust halfpetrifiedpine stripped of sapiencontact.
Relieved at herdoor. alone intheway. Cut piled cartedoff.
Marchbarometer Hopingfor firstsnow Threefooted QB? Not carryingleash.
&prespawn fishingpatterns gettingtext fromhersister Hemustbe veryhard tosack. No dogwalkers this grayday
on a trampoline. about fourinches. Fleetfooted? Sorry. noneed to obey.
Plants mostly victims.
Animals allpredating.
Sapiens both&.
Starling or daisy? Hawk or acorn?
Unknowing butterflyflight Unknowingsquirrel searching
filling appetite. throughfall's silentsky.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
CaveBear
Cavebear advancingslowly. fearsweatfreezing
Just sixfeetway I couldsmell onmymoustache.
its roaringbreath asif rearedup.
Handsquiverig mouthdry
"Idiot" itgrowled. "Idiot!" stillable to sumonwords
needed toend thisthreat
Then slashingclaws "Youdemented bastard
diggingintome tearingoutmyheart. gotohell!"
Graspingmychest I letout a cry Withthatsalvo
heardacross milesofmountains bear turning
"Asshole" I cried. "Asshole!" confused
by crazedprey
Greatbear fallingtoallfours backinginto jetblackblizzard.
backingoff eightorsofeet.
I hadsurvived. I hadwon.
Then itshead slinking low I hadneverfelt soalive
almostouching frozencavefloor so powerful so fullofmyself!
itsneck a blacksnow
Marchmountain slope. Smugsmile crossing
my warriorface.
Bear replying almost in a hiss I wasoverewhelmed
"Damnfool. Damnfool!" withpride.
Myeyes blurring I wasready foranything.
in tearstainedpain.
Allmysenses Evenasmybody quieted
on razoredge. I wasplanning nexthunt
until I noticed bloodontheground
Myheart &myheart missing.
havingturned to ice
beatingwildly Thebear hadmyheart
butbetter I stillhad myproudself.
SpiritSoul Yes
Spiritsoul Yes mypreciouspersonality
soromantic disappearing
sodramatic neverhavinglived itcannotdie
somuch a part asmirage havingalwaysbeen
&separate a lie.
being best&worst of my self.
Eternalife v. eternaltransform
Soul foundonly to forsake asif
lost in eachteam's mindlessfastbreak earthairwaterfire wasever
remnants ofwill gonewild nonliving
forgotten as memory'schild. asif
each&everyself wasmorethan
Spiritsoul lost toeach thisnow whole memory.
asif
stainedglass as rose Alone mypreciouspersonality
but was&willbe
rosefragrance notflower but quitesimply
asif neveris.
pulpit an oaktree
but ThankHeaven
acorn notme. Thankheaven I think
I canforget
NoMore eventhough the joke'sonme
I can nomorelove than as I sleep.
leaf canbe tree
salt canbe sea Butmy perceivedemptiness
you canbe me. freesup sometime forme
tohowl
Lesself unbeingother duringeach dawndusk
islove &
leaftree saltsea youme each moonbright
each a homogeneousmixture darknight.
motherfatherbrothersister
oneasall each transform'sthrall Cathedrals
when I letsgo itsbondage. Cathedrals are beautiful.
So are prostitutes.
Shims
Nothingfitting firstry. Bach is precious.
Bluprints beingajoke. So are baby's firstfootfalls.
shims being deadlyserious.
Ifonly faith could stillself
Muself growingoutof myjeans stilledself could createbeauty.
allmybelts stretchingshort
withme roundingout Within nofaith beauty
goingfrom naturalholes tonotching isall.
untilneeding suspenders.
2EZ
Hallofame withoutpain Forgetself'sdemand
of legs&lungs needing tobe incommand
conditioning. whilesinking in
memory's quicksand.
No windsprints.
No shinsplints. Butquick it'snot
No repetitions. self's stickysand
No retributions sucking till I isforgot
for sacrifices unmade intraining redhot
for duesunpaid whiledesire's cheapshot
yet expecting yourpicture tobecome Chamelot
on Wheatiesbox. islost ineach Rorschach inkblot
finallyseen as folded darkspot
There'sno easyway sansmeaning in lesself's exhaustion.
selfcan't justsay
"withwill I needonlypray" So suffernot self'sdelusion
expectingreality tosuccumb asifmind had a mindofitsown.
tomyway
in a worldofcell unknowing myhell Humblysuffer cell'scontusion
of beinglost in labyrinth duringrealtity's torturedtransfusion
of language thought memory. as seemingintrusion
ofother whereonce wasonlyme.
Gifthorses.
Trojanhorses. Please be numbingbuffer
Horses of anycolor during fusion'spain
all illusions paintedwith while I train to lessenmyself.
self'specialpallor
alltoavoid Expectingnothing expecting all
muchneededvalor neverexpecting it tobe twoeasy
toface lifedeath &forget. toremove my selfishpall.
Emily'sGarden FOOD
(Thanks EmDickinson.) FearOfOurDeath
She's goadedbytime's toocertainflight is divinity'subsistence
asif inlove thisnow countsbeats feedingdesire
ofheart forlife beyondthis
ofmemory forperfection beyondnow.
ofself
ofsin Living withinself
in separation'simpossibility. neitherhere nornow
alwaysguarded
Love&transform asonebreath alwaysguarding
nowaseternal unknowing lifedeath I remainbeyondreach
in moment'spropel of time's errantarrrow of transform'sgarden
muchless eachrainbow eternallyblossoming
muchless eachsparrow. insoil of discipline.
Motivation
Searching for a reason
to presson with lonelypractice.
Searchingforpower
topush myself beyondself.
....................................
Forglory forme buildingmuscles Iam myself &noone else
applingpower of gene&gem. notneeding toprove myexistence.
For respect forthem honingskills Floatingfree ofwhat they'dmakeme
braidingbands of synergy. notfeeingself withoutresistance.
Forlove of family sweatinghours So I trainon in practicelonely
givingofself I proudlyown. withnever a day without "ifonly".
Naturenurture eachneuron consigned. ....................................
Naturenurture all musclemass mind. Noglory nohonor nofellow nofamily
&certainy no uncertainty.
For honorproud for honorfair Waybeyondreason withits word.
eachfellow feeding fioodingflow Beyond alltreason ofthisworld
of selfbeyond selfwithin of bits&pieces of this&that
withself propelled sosaintly. of teamswithmembers dismembered.
Othersbeing I inme Allreasonlost &powertoo
myonly holyreasontobe. towhat isnow &each nextnow.
Power fromoutside simpleself Nosearch nofind in lifecomplete
throughmemory tomybody fullempty. no win no loss no champion'sfeat.
..........................
Willingmywill againstmywon't Givingwithout hands totake.
&wonderingwhy I doit. Sharingwithout will tosteal.
Owingothers disowningself Practicewithout goal insight.
whilesomhow tryingtofit Unknowingself fromthat whichisreal.
intosomething thatisn't me
buildingsomething forothers tosee No meditatingmind within&between
ifwe cannot allagree self finallystilled to emptiedlesself.
I'llstop mytraining now. Nopower always near&never
in transform's hear&now forever.
BAG AtGirth
BasementAtticGarage Lifeatgirth or skimmingpoles
& ofour motherearth
forsome holdingnodrama
rentedstorageunit. for seasonalbeing
............... or reasonabledisagreeing.
CAT
CrawlspaceAtticTarp Steadytheybe
& in easylife or numbingdeath
forsome neither&each in constantpeace
frontporch. with eachpassingbreath.
Contrail What dopoets singof
Contrailascloud at seasonlessbulge
sunstreamingvapor or longlightskim?
as memory incemetery
as athlete infullsweat Rainyseason
as halitoticmadman lightnight darkday
breathspread mustsuffice
insky's openarms. eachwordsmith'say.
Contrailascloud WouldLove
followingorpushing Lake wouldlove toripple itself.
desire'scoffin Clouds wouldweep tofloat themselves.
restlesstooften Spires try tostab heaven.
jealous of sky'sfreedom
jealous of its cyclicunity But I can'tlove myself:
&sin's seemingimpunity. Incest beingto love
as
stainedglass isto rainbow.
**Bombardier** **Facets**
Youhit a bombardier Twinfacets
withyourcar? ofmy fascinating
sexlife being
Whyintheworld fantasy
washe running &
outofthewoods masturbation.
atnight?
**Peanuts**
Hadhisplane I hadahandfull
beenshotdown? of peanuts.
Aretheydoing Two thinking they'd
wargames? escape
werethefirst
A babydeer yousay? tobe
OK. Nevermind. eaten.
WhyWait?
Whywait towrite of import Letbleed lip'stears &tongue's nontruths
when word'songs areripe for export? playoff thatmelody creatingblues.
Whywait for rhyme as rhythm'scohort Whywait forsleep whenlids weighso
whenall isbirth withnothing toabort? &pencildulls selfailing togo
wherewillesswantless lesselfslumbers
Whywait forsun ormoon orshade beyondiscursive&anyallnumbers?
whenblood willthin &visionfade
ifnot forthis ifnot fornow Singnow joyousvoice of sense&nonsense
tasseledcorn holycow? ringloud yourbell of bellowflower
bringforth eachseason's mostdearfragrance
Whywait fortears whentears canbebought feelfull yourtouch yourlove yourpower.
by imaginedworlds&sensesunsought?
TwoHours SentienceBorn
When twohoursleep is sufficient Sentienceborn keepingmealive
for sweatingday's selfabsorption comparingnows withthens
for swallowingnight's memoryofday fashioning successfulwhens.
fearingnot tomorrow'sfatigue
knowingwell thisdark belight indisguise Sentienceborne as echo ofnow
fullmoon being night'sun forall todo&dance againstwall ofthen
intoxicated by pitchblack dulledromance againstwalls ofthen
makingdawn a princessdaughter againstwalls ofthen
ofspring as mother untilwhens becomewishes
ofsummer as father lost in desire'sdin.
asfall as grandparents all
alive&gonestill Rummaging throughattic
whilecelebrating reveling in photoalbum.
frigidwinter'swill. Sentiencebecoming self'sabsorption.
Who needsleep with dreamsofchoice Hearing now fartoodistant
whilehearing tooclearly dawncawbird's voice tomean tome
with owlresting after nightoflight whilebehaving indiscord
of wingedglidingbreath&rodent'sdeath withmywill tobefree
nevermourning its scurringnomore. sensingseparation
........................ fromsource of same
Flaunting myangel'scurse all beyondme becoming
mydevil'sdream self's sterilename.
duringmywhollysufficient
twohours. MyCup
Mycupofsorrow
Half isfilled morefully
Half a life thanyours.
tolearn tolove
thenhalf a life Thus Iam thebereaved
tolive aslove &you the righteouspenitent.
&halfofhalf
ofhalfofhalf Cleanyour stainedglass
lostin dawnsunrising while I stain loveitself
lostin fullmoonsetting. withmy wickedbeing.
Wasmy firsthalf Worship yourcross
dark&night? while I crossover
Was I born to eternalemptiness
atdusk? inmy vainglorious lonliness
separateaswhole
Isthishalf inmy unholyhouse
light&sight suffering morethanyou
ofdeath's couldream
lovingme ifyou couldwake
in forgetfullness? &be likeme.
Don't Shadow
Don'tlive thisnow alone Penitentsliving invalley
without thenwhen tohave tohold. of shadowofdeath.
Don'think thisyoung &/or thatold Infidelsliving
until it wholestory betold. inshadow ofthecross.
Thatwhole atonce&neverever Jogging valleyofthecross
stealingmy verymemory from me during shadowlessdawn
stealingmy everymemory of me. tooexhausted tofawn.
Ifeach ofmycells bemine&only NoRooting
theneach thisnow willbealone&lonely Casket sproutingnoroots.
theneach thenwhen wilbeself &phoney. Marblehadstone asif forever.
Soilbeneath compacted.
Ifonly I Soilbetween loosened.
thenwhen?
thenwhy? But noseeds
simplyend
StormDrive ofmemory atleast
Drivinginblizzard duringthisnow asif dream deceased.
followingtwo blacktracks of then
on snowcovered dividedhighway Transform
keepingtailights of when alwaysinsight mourning a resistance
throughorizontal blindingwhite. feltonly by successors
thinkingeach nextbreath
I tooslow beingrearended bythen success
or losingwhen at trafficircel while arteriesconstrict
notknowing whichspur totake bloodpressure growing
circling circling circling. memory slowing
future flowing
Storm neverending between heaven&earth.
orderofcars neverchanging
juststaying intracks PainAsPurpose
insightof redlight Having manyideas but absolutely nochance.
neveraccelerating Playingagainst an overwhelmingopponent.
neverever applyingbrakes. Painbecoming its veryownpurpose.
Bettersuffering thanon thesideline.
Lark
Howcanweknow Asif I couldchoose a differentgame
larkishappy a differentopponent.
withoutknowing
wordsofitsong? Asif pretending redemptionlikely
or survivalpossible.
Or is wordlessness happiness
wesapiens havingitallswrong? A reason? A desiredresult?
Asif transform reasonable.
Trainingtostillness Asif results an end.
wordsbecomingmusic Asif thisthen beother
havingconfidence inyou anyother
toknow withoutmeaning butmy purposelesspain.
tolove withoutreason.
Remembrances
Steeple higherthan cousin'shouse Perhaps spadedughole negativelift making
eventhough theylived uphill from St.John's. workingundercar easy droppedtools alwaysfound.
Ourlittle churchschool where I took earlylessons But a lousyhidingplace havingbeenfound twicetooften.
between limestonespire &twostory woodframe. And a lousyfort funtoambushfrom throwing storedsnowballs
butimpossible to escapefrom when outofammo.
Sunday's wereasclose tomycousin's as I got
except Christmas dropby with presents. (Memoriesdreams from faintglimpses of forsakenfraternity.)
Strange that Sundayschoolroom Baregrounddriveway unfit fordribbling
betweenLutheran steepleobeisance their bananapeel overinflated basketball
&myuncle's house beforeshooting at rustingrim
wastheclosest I evergot tomycousins nailedto homemadebackboard.
unknowing unloving whileimmersed
in crosstownloneliness. Sideofgarage grasscovered extending fartherthan
oldestboy couldthrow a football
Strange what alcohol&memory cando greenwrappingaround fullwidth of garage
notmixingwell incompany ontheir singleacre townlot
notmixingatall infamily. barelyfringed withbushes
withjust twotrees
Brothersisters fathersons motherdaughters strategically setoff toside.
kinship beingkindling in flamingremembrance
inlaws outlaws bylaws neverpause Didwe everplaythere? Morethanonce?
tosit topray perhapstoplay
in forgiveveness forgenetic infirmity. Orismymemory mydream
truedream as falsereality
Stonecoldchurch unableto speakto or soften ofthat unfencedlot
stonecoldselves schooled in selfdefense of our so fencedfamilies
throughgenerations of malignate narcissim kinwithoutkinship
making even infrequentcontact toomuch tobear. familywithoutouch
............................................. embeddedfirmly
Uncle'shands werehammers inseparation
thickfingers wouldhavestuck between pianokeys as sin
with garagecallouses from sawing&turningscrews. soclose&farfrom
Theirgarage a place for imagination's fracas limestoneLutheranchurch
with muchunimaginable hanging on woodslatwalls woodenhoused
orstashed insome illfitting overstuffedrawer Sundayschool
orsimply somewhere on dirtfloor. &German's dutifulove.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Without windwater Without windwater Without windwater
leavesinstreambed unmoving leavesinstreambed unmoving leavesinstreambed unmoving
duringsummerdrought. inthis fallstillness. shiningcrystalline.
Allbeingother. Quickswing aroundSpring
Self havingsettled its score smallake being kayak kind
withmymemory. &oftenfishy.
Fallbreeze acrosslake Harbingerofdeath
ripplingstilled by winter'sice yet mushroomsthemselves dying.
&memory'svise. Willtheydecompose?
Thesedamn wordsearches. Bare lowerbranches Cookingfor myself.
Allthewords infrontofme holdingremnants fromabove "I win" a recipe for
butformemory. inthename of love. utterdisaster.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Justice
Canjustice beserved when judgeisjury? Canjustice beserved without fleshingoutfacts
Fact is we've sinned deserving righteousfury. breathoflife resurrecting what bareletters lack?
Noneed forlawyer when letterisclear Lawyers bringingheartbeat for eachside tohear
swiftpunishment alone will establishfear addingtoargument both passion&tear.
of logic'scoldlock&keyofguilt Lettingjustice beserved asmeal to wholebeing
uponwhich respectforlaw is built vengeance mercy &guilt allbeing self'sfreeing.
savingmercy forvictims lettingvengeance burnbright Noletters nolawyers nojudges nojury
evil readingverdicts inhell's flickeringlight. distancetime reasonrhyme becoming a slurry.
.................................................
Impersonalogic becomingourlaws Acts astheywere acts astheywillbe
justjudgementmade in fullface of ourflaws. neveracts astheyare ineach thisnow.
Behindreason'sfacade hardenedself willinure Beyond FatherSon or conscienceofone
separation'sguilt of eachsapienimpure. transform'svitality with nowill beingdone.
................................................
Coin Clouds
Flippingcoin of fate sofast Notallclouds aredark
spinning headtail becomingsand &those thatare
blowing as storm through myemptyself arepromising lifegivingrain.
speedofdark toofast toland.
Cloudsofunknowing onthe otherhand
Unlanding thatfury of nospace notime shadingreason's blisteringsun
becomingallife beforelife knewitself. &mysweet Iam
Beforecoiningworlds of thathing&this feared onlybyself in selfdefense
disjoining virginworld of singularbliss. against selforgetting thepresentense
while emptyinginto allother.
Flippingcoin of decision soveryfast
blurring yourworld ofnow myworld longpast Lesself sansadjulation in finalscore
settlingasnorm inmy toofullbrain or in twentyhandedshot unmade unmissed.
expectingoutcomes without lossorgain. .......................................
Thereis nofulfillment in gameforgotten.
Aloneinlife demandingprecision Thereis nofear playingswith backyardbuddies
threatedby unholyserpent's hiss. thisteamnow havingbeen thateamthen
Alone withonly a slimchance forlove tobe
bestowed bytransform's gentlemoistkiss. eachteam in eacheverywhen.
Spawn Myself clouding clouded.
Bassblossoming. Lesself relaxing its sin havingbeen shrouded.
Dogwoodspawning.
Transform'sChameleon
Eggsenough Azure in sky
forall hungrymouths. aqua in water
beige in desert
Treesenough jetblack in nightshade
toembrace lake transform's chameleon
twoloons to eachglance allsearch
fourgeese manifest spectrum
my yak. colorblindingbeing.
FingerNails Precious ofcourse
Thatnight inbed to eachself's freeing.
scrapingbeneath my fingernails
without reliving myday'swork. Worthless ofcourse
Was I weeding? to eachlesself's unseeing.
Was I workinginconcrete?
Isthere a burn AgesAging
callous YearsOld LifeStage
splinter? 5 90% complete
15 manifestingsex
Myhands beingnow 20 unsettling creating
having no hippocampus 40 settling contributing
having no limbicswamp. 55 freecoffee
Myfingers readytoplaypiano.
"Howold areyou?"
Incessantsongwelling inthis day'swork isforchildren
becoming manifest in transform's still &agingathletes.
&my lesself lostinimprov.
Where?
Where doeself start? Whereindeed doeself start?
Literally where doeself start?
With litannyofbegats Thisisn't a primemover search.
backtoAdam'sgenes It'sreally a questionof memory'slanguage
witheach neverunheard without a dream of translation
always fallenunfallen It'sreally an answer being transformation
tree in forestofme but without a hope of location.
with biteofcold
with sweatofwarmth How didmysense ofbeing a singleself
with languagelearned arisefrom the singularphenomenon
separationconfirmed of allbeing?
& a comment
sentientosentient Am I immaculate or conceivedinsin?
braintobrain Am I Adam or myparent'schild?
where it willseep
mixingmemories insleep Oris myself definedbymemory
creatingdreams a selfconscious object
of satedesire a selfconscious subject
tobe bouncedthrough a selfrighteous savage
biochemical pathways until or pureseparation&eternalsin
messagesent or
is mymessage sansconsent earnestlytraining to forget?
wanderingthrough labyrinth
ofmy selfconsciousness As selfconscious object
until lostinvortex I canseemyself wilth rationalrigor.
of As selfconscious subject
then&when? I cantrainmyself to still my vigor.
................................. ...........................
How then shall I see my self?
As self&all As self withinall
sleepingdreaming awake&alert
seeingall as distant beingall &intimate
&satisfied withthat? if I canstop trying.
Pirates Music
Howmanypirates hadtopass Earthairfirewater
to stuffmyskull singing lovedrunk songs
with allthese parrots? as windlacing arpeggios
as icecracking stacattos
Howmany buriedtreasures stalctites in cochlearcave
they're squawkingabout stalagmites growingfrom
arereal? groundof firstsound.
Howmany heroicbattles? Glacialshedding as splashingrhythms.
Desertsdefying as restafterest
Didmyparents tobe mutetest of auralpatience
put them uptothis &all subaural sentience.
without myknowledge
or consent? This inthename of pitch'spurity
eardrumming throathumming
ShoreToShore througheons of silence.
Weretheowls upset
over bullfrog'sbrag TexasHold'Em
comingbetween thier Firstwocards minealone:
shoretoshore Privatereality.
fullmoonmatingcall? Belief. Faith. Hope.
Adding cicadachorus Threecard flop:
&mygurgling topwaterlure Sharedreality.
couldowls becapable of Temptation.
such sapientlike entitlement
or willthey willess Singlecard turn:
wileaway darktodawn Turningintowhat?
singingtheirplaintive Object? Subject?
lifelove'song?
Singlecard river:
Wake Raftinginrapids.
Boat'swake Fulfillment or fail.
doesn'tpropelboat.
Thisnow now welldefined.
Now is footfall Timetodare statistic's stare
butnever footprint. orfold &drinksomewine.
Each nextnow uncharted Magic
given tonnowill to nowant Enteringchurch.
predictedwell bynot Feelingmagic of light
& neverable throughstainedglasstories.
to propelwake Sensingheaven in soaringceiling
or waketo whileknowing its sapienbuilt.
the forgottenfootfall.
.......................... Pews of prayingpenitents
Desire's a choppyocean seekingpetition
me a simplewave givingthanks
youknow willfoam unknowing separation
inlove withsand increasing
whilecrashinginto each thisnow. witheach thoughtword
ofdesire ofobesiance.
**NoHose** **I Thought**
No firehose withforce I thought yousaid
fromtoes towardnose therewas a shrink
untilwaylayed rightfully slitheringacross ourdeck.
atmywaist
but fall's limpstream But I'm nofool
pastspring's pastdream thoughoften a tool
dribblingsad into commode. &certainly don'thave
................... mentalhealth issues
Stillable erect so I deduced? inferred?
to conjureyouth induced? preferred?
playing at desire'space to assume withoutmaking anass
butfailing oncommand of you&me
tooften inremand thatwhat yousaw was a skink.
whenforce was desired
duringfunction. **LittleBill**
............... Mybeloved aging LittleBill
Withage a daze whenitdoes managetofill
ofday's longpast musthavelost some vasculartissue
whencondoms tore leavingmewith a curiousissue
atmy unbidding for whenitgrows it barelyshows
&no wallorceiling or havingstartedshort now withlessupport
waitress'squeeling curvingleft asif a phototropicstem.
couldstay myissue Addingtothat a lackofspunk
from its darkduty. leavingme withlittle to flaunt
my manhood having gone horriblyguant.
SymptomsOfSelf Revisited
Self asmemory ofmy influences on reality
is a malignantdelusion
that feeds on extravagance
while I defend it with rabidvigor.
Self cannotbeprevented.
Self cannotbecured.
Symptoms of self canbetreated
if recognized.
SupraNatural SOS (See Glossary - 3 for original
SuperNatural SOS.)
1. Objectivity - Reality sharedwithself
2. Subjectivity - Privatereality as self
3.Belief - Objectivity as rational
4. Faith - Objectivity as predictable
5. Hope - I canattain objectivity
6. Meaning - Peace&love reside in objectivity
7. Purpose - Attain objectivity
My privatereality influences our sharedreality
creating sobjectivity.
Sobjectivereality is neitherational norpredictable
butrather the ruledchaos of eternaltransformation
within elementalbeing.
My nonpurpose isto becomingaware ofmy
influences on ourworld
&stillmyrippling
thus achieving lesself &allowinging more
peace&love.
TearsOfJoy Orders
Tearsofjoy asa beautifulsadness Takingorders from
blurringthevision of myself associationneurons
inthe increasinglystill pond. allowingmemory
to animatewill
Beingcareful to notbendover actingonbehalf
for a betterlook of myidea ofme
ormytears maycreate rippling. inthefaceof
brutereality.
Seeking Noone toldme howquick I was
Seekingbetter. that I couldpenetrate thepaint atwill.
Findingdifferent.
Noone toldme howsure myshotwas
Wasmygoal that I couldscoreasily withmyskill.
tooambitious
orperhaps Takingorder from
selfish? associationsapiens
lettingthem bemywill
OverFlow if I caneverforget &still
Overflowingbanks desire's sirenchill.
river losingits purpose
itsmeaning Coaching
becomingflood of emotions Assemblingpieces
I didn'tknow I had. from fiveseparatepuzzles
into a single diversetapestry.
Or aremyemotions a tide
needingtobe stemmed Five uniquerealities
asif I couldaskthemoon full of dreams&memories
tostop loving ocean. needingawakening
fromtheformer
Eitherway my limbicswamp needingablation perhapsabsolution
mustbedrained of excess oflatter
lest I drown inmypassions. before ourmany cantrain to one.
..............................
Unbeaten Givingup without giving in
Workingoutagainst openningself sothat ourtea maywin
unbeatenweights. without a score makingus lessormore
Masses insurmountable. thanthe lovingwholeness
Distancesalways beyond. we'vetrainedfor
Success always tworepsaway. &become.
Unforgiving intheir brutality I'mTelling challenging mymuscles toquiet. What I'm tellingyou aboutreality
But my self willhave nopartofthat. isn't reality.
Until thirteenth rep. But mytelling is real
Until thirteendegree hill. &yourlistening.
Then crawltome penitentbody Bewith each sharedmoment of language
bowtome arrogantself knowinglanguage is meaning
judgingnot withnumbers beyondourwords butmeaning here&now
simplysharing thislesson that you&I arebecomingone.
in abjecthumility.
DearRiver
Dear river changing witheachstorm becoming anew whatnoone hathwrought
forebearing all brokenbranches forgetting each&all pastlives
springofsurging depths asthegreat identitytheft
shallow summerstreaming stealing my counterfeitcash.
shredded&starved infall
receptacle for winter. Beyondredemption asif inloss redeemed
if&onlyif I canbecome
Narrowbanks to floodplain distension effaced erased emasculated
without a whimper as transform's loyalover &utterlydestroyed.
truecradle of elementalbeing
sharewithme yoursecrets. Thankyou dear river.
Thankyou seasons.
Iam effaced yet force a smile. Thankyou stormof lesself
Iam erased yet writeagain&again. tearingmeapart completely
Iam emasculated butharden once&forall
againstwilt. untilthenext
Iam destroyed yetbecome once&forall
a phoenix. &thenext.
Thankyou splendidteacher ofall untaught
serene&siren beingofbeing
Prose Is Wilderness
Prose is passiveconfimation Truth asif reality'sjudge
of our universe mappedbygrammar. standingalone
as eachforest
Poetry is not onthe otherhand as eachdesert
but inan alternatereality writing of rightwrong
being the entropyofanarchy using sapienblood as ink
washedwith the watercolors
of springarden tears. then wonderingwhy
bleeding the wiseones dry
InchingIn whileunheeding both
Inchingin from eighthole reality&love
gougingtaut my teenagebelt sapien'succeeding
thirty to thirtysix withinwilderness
from ofwords.
thirty to sixtythree
doppler red cellsuit to Carpenter
dopplerblue lesself. Jesus was a carpenter.
I'mcertain He appreciated
From widespray the craftmanship of Hiscross.
through jetstream
to gentlemist Post deadonplumb
my self to lesself buriedeep nevertotilt
throughpassage of notime crosspiece perfectlylevel
a transformation without attachedtopost with
whiletransforming nonethe longthicknails havinglittlechance
moreorless. of comingloose.
Mysteries Then Hetricked thoseRomans
Thereare truemysteries in wind&dark fakingdeath toescape
on Sundaynightspent in heartofpark sapiensuffering.
in centeroftime beingblownintowave
nobeginning noend ripplingallways butbrave. So must I
pretendtodie
Buildingskies scrapedbyme in straitjackets of steel. praying I won'tbeburied
Takingsteps lackinglithe landinghard oneach heel toodeep?
jarringspine a stillrod to a self fullof fences ....................
ina greenwildplace of curvedpaths&emptybenches. Deadtoself mypride lyingstill
withmydesires&mywill
Mysterysurrounding each unexploredway whilemy welltrainedlesself
with a spark in eachbench of wind&dark canchallenge death&nil.
when onlyawakening can I start toplay
in ripplinglove ofthat bright endlesspark.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Trainingself tostill Trainingself tostill Trainingself tostill
asif I could withmywill. asif I could withmywill. asif I could withmywill.
Sitting. Forgetting. Sitting. Forgiving. Laughingforever.
Neitherhold norspeak: Growinglarge&bold Mothergoose goslings Matingseasondone
Withouthumb abletohug. duckling strayingfrom mother cruisingpast stillnestingbird lake becomingquieter
Withoutongue a hum. duringmorningswim. withouthought or word. tillflight to dusksun.
Strandedweeds floating. Wake faracross lake Empathy yetfree
Growingweeds footfromsurface. likely muskrat or grasscarp of a cloyingattachment.
Findingspace tofish. perhaps watersnake. Notself notother.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
ChristmasDay
Timlesstime foldingonChristmasday Confusiong onthis Christmas day
faithfulchild &felon teen. of SantaChrist &JesusClause.
Timefor simple believingreceiving Selfservingmagic lifesupporting spirit
thentime tojudge that Holyscene. unknowing needing butnow a pause
Christmasevepagaent of JesusChrist'sbirth tosort thestuff of magic&myth
thenhome todreamful verybriefsleep. toride reindeer tothe righteouscross
Thenrising topresents &prayersfullyfilled tosort allgifts of stuff&nonsense
doubting fullwell mysoul He dothkeep. toplumb thedepths of gain&loss.
........................................ ............................
Butifprayers gounanswered a doubtarises Givingup all illgainedgoods
&beingateen self cameawake. losing thatwhich hadbeen myall.
Disbelief replacing childhoodreams Givingup falsegods of greed
while cursing thethough thatmysoul He couldtake. &Santa asmy faith'sfinalfall.
Themagicof Christchild'sbirth Givingup allthis givingup allthat
themagicof Santaclausedawn givingup muchofself growingsmall.
the searingmemories of growingpains Christmas coming&going unnoticed
of simplefaith longheld long gone. whilehearing transform's silentcall.
................................
InTraining Numbered
Notwanting toremember Numbedbynouns
painoftraining numberered into nothing.
whensomeself waslost Howcan dove-37
at barelybearable cost anesthesized
& a fleetingpeace was ever wingbeat love
barelyfelt. withthis springbreeze?
Wheneeding assurance FinalHome
thepains notinvain Drugs the finalovelesshome foralife of selfishness
needing a glimpse the touch&feel makingsensesreel
thatlove isnear in privatepleasure of selfasall&only.
lesselfwillappear
Purchasethosepleasures with greed asif a soul
Persevering in faith keeping at heart'slength the finalgoal
untilfaith disappearing lost withboth theabacus &therose
painbecoming evidence lost towhat selfthinks itknows
of lesself's commonsense whendressed tothenight inthe emperor'sclothes
&thewisdom of lessdefense. struttingnaked intheland ofthe willfull&defensive.
Clean&Dry Yet trulyblindsense deeperthan our formalfive
Isthere anything findingaworld muchmorealive
morebeautiful than beyondeachgrave of marblefact
a sink fullofdishes unknowing withcertainty what knowledgelacked
a sink fullof soapsuds living with goodness&sin belowabove
a sink clean&dry? fading as self flaming aslove
living beyondself &pleasuresofsame
Preference livingbeyondpleasure whilembracing pain.
Which doyouthink horsesprefer
huddling halfhunched LetEvening
munching stackedhay Let winterevening's barebranched breeze
or bouncearpeggios through barebranched trees
spreadacross meadow with mybeing playinghushed churchlesshymns
eating moistgrass eachday? beneath dancingclouds as moonlightdims.
Sleep Nature'schords&chorus shower
What springbeing is dreamlessleep barrenlandscape with transform'spower
toknow eachnow without thenwhen tohear novoice no musicalcall
blanktime all of breath&rest butfor thepulse ofthe wayofall.
tilldawn's faintlight &newday'stest?
Farabove this humblehouse
What springbeing is dreamlessday &farbeyond unbuttonedblouse
knowingnothing in eternalsway puttingheart to rhythm'stest
fillingnow with flowingbow within thesong of throbbingbreast
whileothers wait&watch?
come melodiesknowing from infraflowing
Burninsleep a smokelessdeep of dopplershowing the spreadingfact
no daydreams sown no nightmares toreap thathrough thiswinter evening'sbreeze
withpeace beyondmy barteredself farfrom allaw &reason'stease
just life'sfaintbreath &love's gentleweep. theunheard nontruth ringingsoloud
wakingthedead embalmed unproud
Forgiveness Is
Forgiveness is hearing onesingle everynote
BlackAngel knowntoall asif byrote
arrangingforyour &livedbyall belowabove
final eternalnight the silentsong of purestlove.
pulpitdemagogue WebOfWords
grantingpardons Tight webofwords gossamerthin
to penitents silktongue slick as self&sin
while slidingalong its slipperyslope
givingrace beware it's allsurface with nothingwithin.
by faithalone
from lazyboy Meaningspoint as meaningsbend
of belief circlingclose they neverend
leavingseeker simplyforesaken
settingup yourshot searching for pig endingup with bacon.
after I fumbledyourpass
Butmeat ismeat inaworld lessneat
an ascension onassumption thanself's tidyrooms of right.
that ourworld is minealone. Web spreadingwide but infinitelynarrow
......................... whiledrawing its target wellafter the arrow.
Forgiveness is sinofseparation
times Perfection
presumptionofguilt Evolution
equaling misinterpreted as
praying until yourmouth time'sarrow
goesdry. towardperfection.
......................
Forgiveness isto judgment Transformation
as being dustmots in dawnduckrays
righteousness isto forgiveness. streakingthrough bedroomwindow.
END OF MORERIPPLINGSTILL - 24
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