<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Thumbing sixpound bass. Indiansummer.
Findingmyoldhook&worm Feelingpressure to enjoy.
deeperthan mylure. Stillremembering.
Cilia dawnfrost Glancing at roadside. Frost on orangepumpkin
wavingfall across deadskunk. What's black&white allover? whitewithering ragweed &
Shimmering iceshroud. Deadskunk frostsparkling. blanketing deadskunk.
Plantedprecisely Amorphousflocking
threepeartrees sharingbranches. becoming monotone notes
Wall of red&white. on telephonewire.
Sinister blackheads Straw on seededlawn Skycacophony
sporting comical whitebills. acrosstreet from orange&red causedby foursmall angrybirds
Coots bobbingdiving. as threepeartrees shed. chasingaway hawk.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
***************************************************************
***************************************************************
BrokenArrow
Memory breaking time'sarrow
bringing pseudopeace to self'swar
againstdeath's
apparentoblivion.
Blood shedindefense Livingnow fornever.
ofmycellsuit boundfordecay Embracingtransform.
in a zeorsumgame Erasingsapien'snorm
I mustalwaysplay. of beingtrapped in thenwhen.
********************************************************************
Planning breakingtime's arrow
bringing pseudopeace to self'swar
againstvagaries
of fatelessbeing.
Fearingmy headontrainwreck Fate tofat tofit tonow.
unknowing that a brokeneck I shrinkingtothis without a how
willrelease mybody in transform'sendless
to simplebeing. beginningless.
**********************************************************************
Causelessineffect breakingtime'sarrow
bringing somepeace to self'swar
against tyranny
of singleseeing.
Howcan I be Cueball splatteringrack
withyou bossingme? ontable in utterfreefall.
Eachcommand a demand Nowhere tobe for eachmovingball
keepingme frombeingfree in transform'sgame
tolive suffer die. of thisnow asall.
*****************************************************************************
*****************************************************************************
Momentum TooFull
Memory drivenbydesire Toofull of doubt&desire.
creating futureofsuffering. Wantingtofill perceivedvoid
with meaning.
Past'smomentum though
managedby trainedlesself Mystillness suggestingemptying
guiding me ratherthan an emptyness.
within realistinow.
OdeToUrns
Warriors To whatmemory
Warriors are immortal doesthatmemory
becausetheyknow feedself
no eternalife withselfishness?
becausethey've forgotten
their courageousacts. Pretending it unchanging
........... except by glance&wink
Living thisnow from voraciousme
eachmeoment asall onmy incessanthunt
noheaven nohell for mydestiny.
norise nofall
withineachbreath Treasures
beyond lifedeath. My attice is fulloftreasures.
PerfectPoint As a child I wouldcreate a future
A point thispoint playedperfectly awayfrom myparents accumulatedpast.
but beautylost when beingball.
Whocanenjoy the graceofplay Now I createpast
whenlost completely in selflessall? fromeach thisnow unlived.
A point thispoint playedperfectly Perhaps it'stime for a yardsale.
with noone toknow &noone tocare. Butwho wouldspendmoney
Stoppingtojudge mymemory'svalue on remnants of me?
thisplayisover &so unfair.
I could goto dumpster
To neverknow eachmomentwhen withmy wills&wants in plural
myworld wasone ¬ again. but I haven't the courage
To nevereverknow lossfromwin for a prematurefuneral.
scores highlow being self as sin.
............................... Precision
Mountain knowingtime asdoes eachcell Playing mylife
eachstone thesame as heavenorhell. withtheprecision
Eachnow eachthenwhen a you&I of a pianist
as elementalbeing's eternalsigh. playing a playerpiano.
Incubating
Memory the incubator hatching burntcorpses Chastity. Self a burntoutstar itsnova destroyingproximity
inits unmanagable selfgeneration Temperance. becoming moreseparate inits ultimateimplosion
honoringeach of self'sconceits. Diligence. its gravitas becomingthegravity no lifeform
Patience. willapproach asitbecomes the blackhole
Incubatinghate in heatofmemory Abstinence. of infinteunloving
keepingalivecoals of a onceroaringfire Humility. wherelove honors each shadow echo reflection
that it mayburnagain &again &again Kindness. of lesself as divinelyfashioned&purelyforged Prudence. fullof theperfection of maculateconception
Fueledbypassion'sclutching I wronged Justice. neveressurection
needingflames to seemyself seekingjustice Faith. explicitconnection
upholdinghonor maintaining the reality of Hope. implicitaffection
stuffed cellsuits nowtrophies overmymantle. Charity. stuff&nonsense.
Watching BeingBlind
Sittingquielty watching legsgrowing Isit sad thatwe can'tknow we're eachall
along smoothlength of eachdesire. knowledgebeing secondhand gift
shopping unceasingly for fact&faction knowingbeing primarysin?
to protect my self from self's fullfire.
Whycan't webe &beaware atonce
Sittingquietly in mirroredroom without damnedtime tyingme to myself?
unabletorest in reflectingtomb.
Here anI ther anI everwhere anI I Whydid I lie whenliving in Eden?
&always what&where Whymust I die tobecome alive?
always when&why.
......................... Whymust theprice of lesself be priceless
Sittingquieltly doingnothing whenI'veaccumulated so damnmuch goodness?
scarrebyshards of brokenglass
without a leg to standon. Letmy I beseen justoncemore
insome unpolishedmirror
Spark lesselfbeing deafmute&blind
Child causingspark with twostones. as elementalbeing's blankcheck
Spark ephemeral &so child. unsigned.
Stone eternal.
HeWasOpen
Universe sparkingstar from dust&gravity. Butcoach I sawhim. Hewasopen.
Star ephemeral &so universe. Thedefender camfromnowhere.
Dust&gravity eternal.
Don't seehimopen.
Playingwithfire in slowburn of forever.
Is transform havingsomefun withme? Then howcan I makethepass?
Believer Don't makethpass.
Believe this.
No. Believethat. So I shouldshoot? Or notshoot?
Believingbecomingconfusing.
------silence------
Believeinmyself
withme incommand Oh. I getit. I should putmypractice
atleast tillthatliar goesilent. onthefloor. But I did. Wepracticedthatplay.
Thenbelieve in no thing Forgetpractice.
till youbelieve nomore.
Beliefdisappearing Thenwhat amI supposetodo?
with believer.
Memorytrained.
Acting Memoryingrained.
Oneshow eachnight fivedays a week Memoryforgotten.
with twoshows on Sunday?
Twoshowsnightly withonly So morereps?
onedayoff eachweek?
Morereps. Morereps.
24-7-365! Morereps. Morereps.
Only waxfigures canmaintain thatintensity.
Seeking
"Do not seek the truth But if we'rebeing neither thisnorthat only cease to cherish opinions." Whoarewe?
Seng-ts'an
Excellent. We're notbeing
Whynot seektruth? Welive initsgrasp. &being atonce or twice or thrice
with nomouth to askquestions
Becausetruth isthe otherside of false. of mortals or mice.
Flippingthatcoin canonly leadto
dizziness&confusion. So if I ceaseseeking tocherish
myopinions willperish.
So I should "accept" truth?
Andwhile noseeking
Whoisthere to "accept" youmayfind nothing
except an acceptor
receivingtruth as but myself I'mguessing
exemptionfromfalse. &selfishness I'mconfessing
Or truefalseboth&?
&with your humbleseeking
So should I "be" truth? yourself maybegin leaking
into the emptiness
Better. But tobe isascertain that truth usedtofill
as not tobe or tobenot leavingyou as lesself
&inthat confligration the twoheaded becomingloving
dragonflyofdichotomy willscorch inthelove of still.
each ofus.
**Bargain** **Vasectomy**
The retirees thoughtheygot a bargain Duringmyvasectomy
intheprice oftheir lakesidelot. itsnot anydoubt or fearofpain.
Butsoon foundout itwasnot. I know (oratleast theytellme)
I won'tbebroke.
They wereperched seventysteps
above their lakesidedock But driftingup frombehind
&needed an oxygenstation theveilof courtesycurtain
halfway updown there'sevidence of trauma
toreliever their cardioshock. inthewhitesmoke.
No I
Thereis no I inteam theysay Blinded bynature's finalburst
teens repeatingthatphrase atwill of selfishlight ofall I&can
unknowing there's a pricetopay growingteens beginningtothirst
chanting whilefull of self unstill. for something morethan betterthan.
Comingtoplay theirfavoritegames Lost in I's briefcandle's burningout
as childrenplay quiteas theyplease youth'surplus simply smoke&ash.
theirgoal fornow just flash&flame Lightoflesself seenwithoutdoubt
play beingfull of I's&me's. sacrificebecoming enduringflash.
Thewhen theirgoing gettingtough Becomingcream in bitterblackcoffee
questioningthis snipingthat blendingbrown asif welcomedguest
quitting whenthey've hadenough beingsipped bylife teens breakingrfree
unwilling toshed their babyfat. havingfinallypassed their finaltest.
...........................................
Layerfrom mother'smilk grownthick Memorylapsing into comaofbeing
cushioninglives thought heavensent. selfishfunfailing as windtornkite
Slowlymelting around thinwick allgame becoming thisonlyseeing
an I toobright for enlightenment. lightoftheir newlife growingbright.
Blinded by embryonicglow Their childlikeplay enjoyed indeed
teensjoingteams as oil joins gears butplayed tosong of selfishroar.
thinking thatin that slickenedflow From desire&defense finallyfreed
they'vegrown abovebeyond theirpeers. nowdancing totransform's simplestscore.
Dough LongAgo
Doughfocookie tobecut to conformity It happened longago
civilizationhating its discontents. so letitgo &thepain.
Doughformed for piecrust I can'tremember whenwhere or how
thoughtfreedom incontaining but thememory ishere thememory isnow
fraughtfreedom inconstraining. &mypain &mypain.
Being braingrowing Now I know of demonsinsane
egg sugar oil evilspirits fromthe devil'slair.
carbon hydrogen oxygen I'd searchforangels if I dare
elementaltranformation torelieve mybody rackedwithpain
formingall cutintoeach
nevermorelessthan for neverforgetting how when &where
earthairfirewater. in spongygray of jealousbrain
for neverforgiving here now &forever
WhippedCream my incessantpain of there then &never.
Sorry Jesus yoursacrifice
means everthing to penitents UnFree
but is unknown whiletraining Unfree asif mychoice
with heartbeat&breath becoming mychoice havingbeenmade
din of nobelief. to masquerade inself's greatball
beingbattedabout in utterabandon
Whippedcream being a nice bymy so sly I
finaltouch on sundaedessert hidingbehind a maskofother
butonlyafter consumingnutrients neverexposing my mesianicself.
from gardenoftransform.
ManyMuster
Moments Manymuster whatheycount as courage
Transform isno sevengames in November takingoff theircoats in bitingcold.
no seriesofmoments oneafterthenext Some soproud they'll stripdown to bareskin
no mo as momentum slowfast believingtheirsacrifce will washawaysin.
no ment fullofmeaningpurpose.
Yetfew ifany doftalltheywear
More a flow in eachall's nodirection. sheddingtheirskin in immoralprayer
More a fog of thisnow's predilection. dyingtosentientstorms &death
becoming eternalnow's single sweetbreath.
Passed
Threatpassed. "Yourmuscles tellus
Callingoff my guardogs. thatwhen calledupon tocontract
Relaxationflowing theyfeel noresitance.
fromforehead toeyes Theysay that'smoretiring
tomouth toshoulders than actingagainst.
throughback downarms So what's threateningyou
to deathgrip clenchedfists. mysapeinmaster?"
Hormonesasking "Therearealwaysthose claimingtobe
"Whywerewe activating moreclever
inan emptyworld betterlooking
withnothing tofear?" stronger
moreloving
I answeringindignantly right intheirworld of wrong
"Letme dothethinking. bright intheirworld of darkness.
Defense is keytosurvival. Theyaim to diminishme.
Preparedness is primary. Andif I die youdiewithme."
Eachthreat is real&now." ............................
Suddenly fromnowhereverywhere
"Threatfromwhere? the enemyfromwithin
Threat towhat? musclestensing
We'reoverworked&underpaid. headaching
Whatisit we're sweating?" hormonesflowing
bodyweakening
"Thethreat istome you miscreant withme stonewalling
middlemanager ofmy behest. my impenetrableself.
I mustbemaintained orall is lost."
....................................................................
Bodysighing.
Me laughing.
Shaking weakenedfist
atall myfates.
Bodydying.
My self crying.
Feelingforsaken
bythreats that
neverwere.
SixthSense Sevendecades
Familiarfive Sevendecades of past
findingtheir parkingspaces &still beingborninto
inmysensorygarage wonders of transform's
while shutin sixthesense kaleidoscopicpallete.
waging neurotransmitterwaterfight
among minivans&pickuptrucks in parkinglot No countingyears
creating re-creations of sensinglongpast. while dyingyoung.
Armedwith squirtguns Burningashless
watercanons &bulgingballoons in thisnow's flame.
dancing to oldybutgoodies
from myprivateplaylist of tunes MustYou?
creatingsodden killingfields Youcan&must
of thisnow &allother. change yourself
from amoral to moral.
WhySpend?
Whyspend time&energy Youcannot&must
learning howtoforget? change yourself
from moral to immortal.
Because ineach ephemeralnow
is perfectemptiness TimeOut
& inevery eternalemptiness During timeout coach tellingplayers
is perfectionofnow. the adjustments theyneed to make.
Best traintoburn completely Playersresponding byplaying
withoutmemory or regret. asthey've beentrained toplay.
HeadGame
Battlingacross nospace emptytime
from hemispheretohemisphere.
Chargingacross whitefibernetwork
as oganicmechanic auctioneer
sellingdreams inbrain fullofmemories
ofdesire &of defense'sfear
of whatmaybecome of mypreciouself.
Playingame of take&take feelingpulse of fleshopponent
againstopponents I willnotlove escapingself myonlyfreeing.
bastardself against its same
givingapush gettingashove. Freedomfromjudgment of hightestsort
whileplaying myself against myme.
To win atallcost but nevertrain Freedomtoplay with friendbeyond
nosneed tosuffer bodilypain acrossmynet of vanity.
whileinmemory'sgarden withinmybrain
enjoyingfragrance of illgottengain. Finally forgettingtraining withitspain heavensent
becominglost inother myonlysavior.
Lostinsong of imaginedfame Playingwithfriend tobeat myopponent
messagesmassaging eartoear. distractingmefrom myseductivewhore.
Conjuringimages in cranialcourt .........................
litigationspreading from theretohere. Self asquestion other as answer
eachforgot in thisnow's storm.
Foundindin of reality'sgame You&I in dervishdanceblur
messagesdragging throughmuscledbeing becominglove within eternaltransform.
Seeking SoMuch
Seekingjustice Somuch smoke somuch dust
seeinginjustice. mybeing lostin darknessofdesire.
Seekingtruth
hearinglies. Fullofwords growninreason
Seekingpeace writ toosmall toread.
feelingrancor.
Seekingbeauty Smoke dust words reason
tasting ugliness. desirereading whatself haswrought.
Seeking heart'sdesire
smelling brimstone'sfire. Drama
"Unmerciful hourofdespair."
Glow "Utterdarkness of desire."
Rootingfor "Ecstatic contemplation
seeinghalf a game. on mountainpeak."
Pullingagainst "Passionatedemons inwar againstme."
seeing no game atall.
Drama is self masturbating.
Norooting nopulling
simplywatching gameglow Hide&Seek
beyondmywill&want Askids we'dplay hide&seek withourdog
towhere I don'tknow. tellinghim to sit&stay whilewe hid in neighbor'sgarage.
thenshouting "OK" &Sam wouldcomesearching.
Solving
Notsolving mypuzzle. Nextround we'dhide inbushes acrossfromgarage.
Lettingitgo. Sam wouldcheck garagefirst thenstart a freshsearch.
They'llbe manymore.
I'llsolvemost. Roundthree. Garage bushes search.
Somewillbaffleme.
Sam exhibiting simplealgorithm.
That'swhy there'syou Memoryservingsimply
distractingme from uncluttered by desire&defense.
perseverance
joiningme
in ignorance.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Peartrees as prayertrees Thatpoor jetcontrail Stinkingup the court.
stillgreen through blusteringfall this beautifulAutumn eve Not a verygoodteacher.
beingtrue to sun. crashing into oaks. Painpills bath all's well.
Junkfood in gymclass. Churchfront burningbush. Snowrainhailsleet mix Finalfallflaming
"I'mnot dressingout today." Dogma showing livingface soitmustbe November. leavingnothing for winter.
Modernteen mantra. for all penitents. CumberlandPlateau. Peartrees as prayertrees.
Calmbeforethestorm. Angrywithmirror. Onourdeckrailing
Butcouldthecalm bethestorm? Shatteringmyreflection. largerthanourbirdfeeder
Ironic ifasked. Satisfyingself. oneofthosehugecrows.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
HolyBook
(Thanks Hafiz.)
Eachallofus fullyawakened Eachallofus haslearnedwell
being worldessholybook. the languageoflove.
Eachallofus omniscient It'stime to quitschool
being beyondsymbols &begin our eternalduty
being beyondmeaning. teachingsingingdancing.
Eachallofus omnipotent Risking unlabeledlife
being withoutseparation clutching no things.
being willesswantless. Beingwithoutpattern
a mystery toallothers
Stop spewingscripture. &to my preciouself.
Quotations arefor foreigners
whohaven'tlearned Riskingbliss of lesself.
our languageoflove. Lost inlove
as thisperfectnow.
Rewriteallgospel
inyourown omnibenevolent
wordlessvocabulary.
Dreaded
Momentdreaded unconvincingmuscles to lordoverbrain
self'security beheaded in blindscurry tosafety frompain.
by sword of fire unknowing
my thoughtlifeternal nomore. Nosubsituting morality
in selfishdepravity
Momentdreaded wherefire's reality
nofight beforeflight willbe dealtwith as banality
brainfrozen in realtime bylesself
fleshbecoming fear'smime sufferinginsilence.
whenmyself can'tcool itsflaming. ......................
Soitgoes in lifeunsaid butdone
Cognitivedissonance creatingtrance dreadinhead making frightenedfeet run
flame'stouch becoming dervishdance fromfate of myquitecertain mortality.
ChimneyFire
Burningunseasonedpine Housewarm. Chimneyclean.
in ancient Franklin ..............................
potbellied woodstove. Thus withmytraining
waitingpatiently beforeimmolation
Creosotebuildup yeilding fewer soddenmemories
causing chimneyfire. tocool myflamingself.
.................
Burning seasonededoak Hotterfire morecompleteburn
in VermontCasting stove becoming elemental water&air
risingair routedoverfire leaving littlesmoke less ashen earth
causing secondarycombustion from myflaming desire.
of volatilegases yielding
maximumheat minimumwaste.
CoinFlip Offense
Flippingcoin of fate sofast Thoseoflesself suffocatingme
tillspinning headtails becoming as sand with pillowtoface tenacity
blowingstorm through emptyskull asif tethered by umbilical
coinflyingblind waytoofast toland. to lifebeyond my selfishonly
asif birthed as quintuplets
Unlanding asjury of nospace notime &nevereverlonely.
becomingall life beforelife discoveredself
beforecoining a world of themthat&this Deriguear soupdujour
disjoing ourworld of singualrbliss. sinequanon of offense
............................... beinghigh ballscreen
Flippingcoin of decision sofast with bigmanrolling
takingyourlife&mine asitsown in virtual invisiblesilence
in senselessration in choiclesspassion as bestway to dealwith
beyond fate'sdesert keepingusalone. smotheringdefense.
Alone inlife demandingdecision So letmetrain till I canrestrain
threatenedconstantly by serpent'shiss. fromgoing oneonone mostoften illfated
by usingscreen &slippingpassbetween
Aloneasme aloneasyou twodefenders eternallyseparated.
with slimchance for love's
gentlemoistkiss. Let'sGo
Let'sgo toaplace whereself canrunfree
StillSearching nosaddle nocinch nobridle norein
Water yeast refinedwheat tobe beyond mybody'sense
mixed flattend exposedto oven'sheat. tosee fromlight withinmybrain.
Tomatopaste cheeselace Creatingmaintaining a lifeofmyown
greenpeppers pepperoni of successes honors of winningeachgain
onions&anchovies. inagame fullyrigged tobeonly forme
fullof truth&justice withnever a pain.
Disparateingredients
desperateformeaning. Inthatplace letmefind a mate
toecho mybeing aswe procreate
Evenhavingvisited Italy clonesofme alsorunningfree
&eaten as Italians eat across our expansivevalley of fate.
stillsearching for nutrition
in complexrecipes A fate unenvied bythose whocansee
whilemunching from far&high on mountainside
onanapple. myherd of stallions nevereallyfree
living withindesire's greatdivide.
Repeat Raft
Repeat afterme. Buildingmyraft withrocks.
Repeat after I. Misunderstanding density
I amboth wind&chime. of seawater.
I isboth wind&chime.
I amboth awake&asleep. Lashinglogs together.
I isboth awake&asleep. Lifetolife makingsense.
I amboth stream&bank.
I isboth stream&bank. Or perhaps I haven't
I amboth dream&real. explored enoughof thisland
I isboth dream&real. I thought an island
surroundedbytransform
Being bothnow &forever with nothing forme toexplore.
as thenwhen &endlessnever.
Improvising
Soil Improvising?
Memory as soil of then. Impoverishing?
Intoxicating.
Dream as root of when. Who'stojudge?
Hibernating. Imitationbeingsincere.
Self as growth in nevernow. Art beingdemocratic.
Isolating.
Love unknowingseparation
Awakening to thisnow &thus possession.
drunk&alone.
Mytomb withthe epitaph Onlyself canbe jealous.
"Neverknown." Onlylesself can nonplus.
Perfection Contending
Havingbeensold perfection Self contendingwith lesself
havingto dealwith dejection in a houseofmirrors.
&thedismalrefrain "caveatemptor"
asif I hadgonetothestore If self winning I transfixed
all snooty facingmirrors forever
&boughtmore&more&more in toilets
ofwhat I suspected was illgottenbooty. in mudpuddles
in scumponds
Persistent in clarity oftears ofothers
Loving my self dying foranimage of me
&truth. dying inanimage of me.
Eachproviding If lesself winning mirrorshattering
a temptingmap onethousandpieces of me
of reality meltingmelding in heatofattention
withintheir cooling as noreflection atall.
persistent
illusions.
GodParticle
(The Higgs-Boson.)
GodParticle isto inorganicreality ofthose certainof lifedeath
as knownonlyby
self isto elementalbeing beings trifling in
onlyopposite. suchmundane
tautologies.
Thatis ofcourse isn't ..........
what I'm talkingabout Givemeliberty &givemedeath
whatwithlanguage sothat I may choosemoments
beingparticualte of myownself'sbreath
&inorganic countedagainst mytime as I
whilemeaning before rigormortisrelaxing
is selfish alleffort&eachtry
&elemental. whilelesself lives
inbetweentime
Onlyopposite. before inevitable
............. weantime
Sheddingcellsuit in jealousy inwhich we partways
asif sloughing nights&days
membranedissolving of GodFather GodSon
with when as solute &particularly GodParticle
with then as solvent to dwell in unjudgedunjudging
solutiondecanted thisnow.
as mytruth
truth so personal Then perhaps
the Higgs'sGod I mayield
becomes an to transform's
elementalbeing mercilessindifference.
knownonly tothe
anxiousarrogance
**Rat** **Ambivalence**
A squirrel sawmepeeing Eating an oatmealraisin cookie.
onatree yesterday. Ambivalence or dissonance?
Eitherway an awkwardance.
I've heardnothing from
NeighborhoodWatch Like closingyoureyes ona rollercoaster
or or
HOA president havingsex through a screendoor
so I guess the furrytailedrodent withyour soontobedivorced wife.
didn't rat meout.
1+1
Unknowing since dawnoftime Yet countingmoments
oneplusone is neverever two to myextinction
carbon+oxygen asifmath couldremit
sodium+ chlorine myappetite.
ocean+sky
root+soil (Petsarefed.
teacher+student Pigsarebutchered.)
lover+beloved
you+me. Onebyone payingforeachsin
asifsin wasneitherwhole
Unknowing there'snever norempty noreternal.
justonething or two
¬hingever Asif I was separate
I cando. alone &mortal.
NoMemory Bed
Nomemoryneeded Waterbed
toknow what'sknown a waterygrave
by sapiens trained for wearisomeworrying
beyond thenwhen's brain in a world goneawry.
&desire's intrusion
with its illusion Warmwet tomb
ofwhat mightserveself for dreamyreturn
best. to lifesupport
thatwaseffortless.
Nomemory being sentience athand
thisbeing likethat similar&preplanned Cicadas&coolbreeze
trainingbecominginstinct overwarmth from within.
as Floatingasrelaxed
rippling becomingstill as a sapien canbe.
former bornofattachment
latter withoutwill. Safefromdemands
of pride&title.
Forgiving Entitledtorest
Forgiving. onmylaurels.
Forgetting.
Neverhavingjudged. Safeinbedroom
Neverhavingknown. withone trustedother
&nostalgicmelodies
Forgiving self. neweverynight.
Forgetting self.
Neverhavingjudged. Grief
Neverhavingknown. Loss. Sorrow. Grief.
Attachment. Self. Natural.
Living
Living for eternalife? Longer
Living within thismoment'strife? I desire to livelonger
only tofell myforest
Choosewisely between thenwhen or now leaving lesstanding
memory'slabyrinth or eachbreath'svow. between you&me.
WhyBother?
Whybother with fourseasons? Letseasons come&come&come
Wouldspringsmell lessalive each asis unadorned bymyjudgment.
without sterilewinter &dogdaysahead
without all living then eachdead? Letlifebe &be asis
&thatpart whichisme letitalso simplybe
Withwhom am I talking &whatquestions arethese? failingoften knowingnothinig
Whatkind of sanctimony &whatkind of sanction? whiletrying tofeel beyondmemory.
Talkingtomyselfagain.
Listeningsointently. Atlast evenwithoutletting
springsummerwinterfall
Letbabes beborn year'round. eachabiding
Letcorps begrown continuously. eachabetting.
Letmylove mylover mylovest
be reborn reborn reborn eachday.
Defining Letting
Definingself as desire Lettingthisdaygo?
&ourgame isafoot inmy gapingmouth Lettingnextdayglow?
below anemptyskull thatwould daretoresist Simplyreleasing
since emergingfromtranform's tunneloflove my welldefendedmemories
unblushing&unkissed into thisnow's wellearnedrest?
beingbothflesh&boneheaded.
Resisting
MyEyes Resistingslumber.
I can'tsee myowneyes Thisday now thatday.
without a calmpond or cleanmirror.
Wishing nextdaynow
Profound meditationpractice inmyself's desiring.
willprovide on occasion
both calm&cleanliness Howelse cansleep be sleep
for me tosense realilty. ifnot surrenderorattack?
Then mirror musbeshattered Andwhatof mydreaming
chewed swallowed just sheep&haystack?
&washed down
with wholeofpond. Allowingself
its wearytransform.
I becoming
withintransform Dreamlesssleep?
myown lostreflection. Needledheap?
HowBoring
Howboring thislife Whose homebaked applepie inthesky
of eatingsleepingbreathing couldbe aslargeas mydreamingsigh
then notbreathing whereyou canbereplaced inpartorwhole
throughthat longdarknight. as a wistfulthought inmy whirlingbrain?
Bettertobe imaginedself Me neithersleeping noreating norbreathing
grownfree ofeven its familytree &neverever notbreathing.
shadingout allother withmemory Me always lightbright&fullofmight
inits bid tobegod amongmortals. being chilled&thrilled tobe it&all.
But reality'sbrutality Me floatinglight as balloonofallhoping
intruding onmy Thespianwhimsy highabove all leadenedother
crushing my carefullyconcocted liturgy tillbecoming leeself gentlyreturningtoearth
desiringimmortality havingneverbeen butone with eachallbrother.
becomingself's immorality
inplay inwhich I choosetostar Thislife is eatingsleepingbreathing
asif judgment beworthy then notbreathing
of bestsupportingactor. beyondpulse of earthairwaterfire
&trainedforgetting of mostdesire.
Blink Reduced
Eyes burningbright yetafraid toblink Song reducedtowords byself.
knowinglight as desire's link Dancedeaf toself's silvertongue siren.
thatwill in breaking causegreatpain
in my world of loss&gain. Ifvoice be yourinstrument
enough tohum melody withrhythm
Faithfull lover of light&right letgo language of selfasme
enslaved to past&futuresight forlanguage of lesselfasall
fearingdark its touch its feel thendance tillpolyphony erasingme
as apartfrom other&alltooreal. leavingonly still &still dawnsea.
Yet dark&light combine as love Nutrition
intheworldbetween below&above. Putdown yourmenu
eatyourmeal
Grotesque wordpictures beingself'svenue
All unatural becomingrotesque proteins&carbs beingreal.
a world of loquaciouszombies
draggingtheircorpses of will&want. Chosingchoice givingself a voice
Lifewithoutdeath being selfmade mess. that rarelyjokes &neversings.
Muted Choicechosen realityfrozen
Quiet being muteriot then (ifatall) thawed&eaten withwings.
if self hasnotbeentrained.
Settling
Brain fullofmemory brain fullofplan Settling for shadows of arborfilteredsun.
searchingthenwhen whileplaying hangman. Settling for subtleglow of firstquarter moonlight.
Dreaming Settling for cleverbrain'sdefense
Living eachnow dreaming eachthen within language'slabyrinth lackingsense.
withoutconfusion of whereorwhen.
Settling for faith as matterofcourse
Dreamingthroughnow ifyoudare Sundaymorningritual Mondaydawnremorse.
living halfalife in subtle despair.
Settling for borrowed halfbelief
Perfection'sPain with childhood'svision being lightningbrief.
Toexpect a prayer tobe answered
whilewrapped wringingwet in perfection'spain Settling for security within transform'sgyre
whatact couldbe morepatentlyvain? asif safelyembedded thought couldflyhigher.
..................................
Livingwithout self'sintervention Expectingrace wihtoutpaying the price.
sans expectation &intention Expectinglove without sacrifice.
suchistransform's noanswer.
Lamp
Attacking Thereis notime inlove
Attacking bison asif thislight not samelight
helpingmesurvive. (whichitis asanylamp
will attest.)
Attacking boss
sendingme to poorhouse. Asif beforemymemory
I remember you&all
Myself beingconservative inthat neverdimminglight
tothepoint ofliving (although anylamp willclaim
in memory. that itsbulb has beenreplaced
manytimes.)
Hiding
(Thanks Rumi.) Freedom
Hiding in dry thoughtgrasses Tobe above the lawsofnature
fearing feral brushfire freefromforces physical&cultural
might makeme smoke ash debris freefrom mortality
releasingme from my benightsociopathy freefrom morality
to foul intellect'sair freetodesecrate the tombs of nonbelievers
to smother faceofearth havinglived&died within elementalbeing
to pollute freshwater. within a world of simplerseeing
without self'shadow blockingthesun
Abiding inmoist elementalbeing in a resplendentworld of lesswill undone.
trainingself tostill as finalfreeing.
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EachThanksgivingday Chlorinating mildew. Bankbite this darkday.
lamenting thesame rightswrongs Stillneeding to scrubhard. Eachcast draggingsomething in
at the sametable. Somuch for our chems. sometimes keeperbass
Somekneel to smellrose. Linetwist a tonguetwist Bowelmovement wipe Yellowbutterflies
Others hopefor a breezewaift. eachfunctioning sanswivel with snotfilled toiletpaper. mowing whatwere longreenstems
Most sniff only self. inaworld of curl. An eco-twofer. now golden groundthatch.
Anthills in bushade. Partly bushwacked fieild. Amidst sixfoot green
Eveninsects respect heat Only strippedwhitestrands upright redthorned strawberrybushes
or preferthedark. over trampledgold. pooling in duskshade.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Primary Wounds
My primarydesire is desiring Wounds superficial &/or supernatural
to neverstop desiring incurred whiletooyoung to remember &/or defend
tokeephunger my apparentneed scartissue becoming my self &/or soul
tofeed my self both& creating a curlicueblend.
togrow my self.
Ifonly therewere a way to bear &/or transcend
Tobe is towant a life of constantmend.
creating ourworld inmyimage
becoming separate&sovereign Puzzle
within myprivate kingdomofsorrow. Puzzlecomplete.
Oh how I lovesitsdrama. Glue frame mount
or
Oh how I lovemydrama. diassemble&store?
Divinity Such islife's decision.
Moon doesn'tbeam divinity.
Wind doesn'thowl divinity. Withering
Lake doesn't ripple divinity. Eschewingwill
abidingwithin
Divinity's supernatural eye discipline'swomb
seeingonly desirefor of lesswant
righteousness my worthlesself
& withering
lifeternal on thornedvine
without attendant of defense.
suffering
sacrificing Cutting
training. When cuttingout circles
movingpaper
End not scissors.
End of separation?
Impossible thankGods. Whentraining to lesself
beingunmoved
Trap permittingmovement.
Stillfallingintotrap
of meaningpurpose DOA
asif thisbreath Memory deadonarrival
couldbesweeter. nochance for resuscitation
or rejuvenation
SaveMe suffering instantrecrimination
"Saveme from myself" he cried for celebration of separation
&cried until NoOne replied from thisperfect now.
withananswer only Lesself canbear
whilebeing completelyunaware Memory DOA nevermoreless
that the answer is neverever a prayer. thanmeant tostay
still until absolutelyneeded.
"Saveme from myself" he cried
&cried till NoOne sadlysighed FirstLast
whisperingtheanswer tothose with noears First brightmorning of creation
when trainedbeyond existentialfears creating firstlastday of reckoning.
havinglost faithope to streamingtears. As with allbeginnings its ending becoming
creatorcreating runination.
Paying
Payingtheprice foreachbite Better lesself's eternalduration
ofmy voraciousappetite. as retiree sansclock or calendar
unknowing nows for whatheyare
Wantingmore &more &more &neverwere or willbe
turningmylover intoawhore. sin as separation.
SuddenDeath
Suddendeath. Suddenlife.
Aneurysm? "All in" at pokertournament. Eachmoment of lesself
Heartattack? Turn&river unrewarding. withoutdesire.
-Then- withoutdefense.
Unawareofmypassing Leavingtablequietly -Then-
eachnextnow unnoticing while nexthand is beingdealt. Unawareofmypassing
myabsence eachnextnow unnoticing
while thenwhen laments Mygoing barelyfelt. myabsence
fabric of its tenuousbeing cards shuffled dealt played
havingbeen tornagain by cardshuffled dealt played
tranform'storm. cardshuffledealtplayed.
NoDifferent Clever
Nodifferent at seventytwo The mostcleverthing
than I was at two thedevil everdid
strugglingwithlanguage&reality. wasconvincingme
At twelve strugglingwithGod. thatGodexists.
At twentytwo struggglingwithMind.
At thirtytwo strugglingwithfamily. For withoutGod
At fortytwo strugglingwithcareer. noDevil.
At sixtytwo strugglingwithcompletion For withoutyou
ofmypuzzle of self other love. nome.
For withoutseparation
At seventytwo a breakthrough nolove.
finallyfreeing my self from me.
Basking in objectiveselfconsciousness Keepbelief
approachinginsight withoutflight hotonthegrill
fromwhat I was allthewhile. usingrief as spatual
toserve disappointment
EarlyPiece tothose of unrequited
Earlypiece of puzzle of me selfishness.
wasn't asyou mighthink
a discovery Gather&Hunt
butrather a losing ofthekey If memory basket&spear
to lockedoor of immortality. we'd feastoneternity withoutafear
of now everbeingfallow
ThreeCommandments whiledying of malnutrition.
Elementalbeing beingthese natural
imperatives Asif fruit&game grow&runfree
Eat Don'tBeEaten Reproduce. reappearing at will'scommand
bendingthierbeing to mydemand
Sapien meing beingthese unatural of a secondhelping of myself.
declaratives
EatMore Eatfirst LeaveAnExcrementTrail. Memoryguidingme
towhere cavebear winters
HalfTrained butnow's not then &bear'swideawake
Halftrained improv as self'sdiarrhea. feastingonfool for yesterday'sake.
Partiallydigested other
awash in undisciplinedesire. Abandoned
Spiderabandoning
Extempore asif revelry itsweb of lastnight
asif withoutgenealogy. net havingbeenfutile
Prayer forself fromself thatchose in foodlessplight.
asif plant rootlessþedstem
couldpossibly blossom as rose. Lesself web strung
catchingsomelight.
Halftrainedplay. Simplyfilaments
Servingmenu as meal of geometricsight.
nutritious to termiteonly
digestingdesire inmy woodenhead. Abandoned for anothernow
each daynightnet a singlevow
DoIThink? to letselfgo
Do I think mypast enrichesme? in lesself flow
Do I think myhistory sustains my self? takingleaving
Do I need birthdaycard&photoalbum nothing.
when I losefaith
in eternalnow? BeingNow
When I losefeel Beingnow without beingonknees
for transform'sgrace? asif fallfromgrace asif needtoplease
when uncountedbreaths
Do numberofbirthdaygifts arefeltas notbreathing
shortenmysuffering? though windchimes aresinging
songsofspring.
Would a house fullofmirrors
reallybe heaven? No reverancenow for timeortransform
irreverancebeing foodoflesself.
Whenwill I stop myincessant counting Sleeptight forgetting eacheverydream
&startliving mylife inlove? remebering onlythis tobreathe.
Joining
(Thanks T.S.Eliot.)
Joiningconversation Tryingtobe perfect teamate.
asif Unknowing thatonly inmyending
invited. canthere everbe a beginning.
Anxious tobelong. Unthinking? Impossible?
Agreeingwithanyother. Just thisnow unfiltered unprocessed?
Smiling. If&onlyif I canresist thinkingbout
Makingeyecontact nothing.
withallother I's. .........................
............. Unhearingsong joiningdance
Passingonshot topass. asif magic asif trance
FoulingduringteamD. whenall it takes is amnesia.
**Banana**
Saturdaymorningbanana halfpeeled Withskin so smooth both out&in
erect&flacid bothatonce. withstrings of ripe &unripeboth
Lipstofruit ofseed of allsin unpeeled coquette ofmystery
halfeaten exposing yellowsoftness within. exposed vignette of she&he.
Reliving Fridaynightdebauchery Head&hedonism rulinghermetically
with velvetongue of word&deed. with lip&tooth&tongue&throat
Peelingcompass of propriety celebratingtubular morningfruit
in worlds of Bacchus diety. inhomage to lastnight's longnight's root.
Nospringblossom with droopingpetals A lithelament that morningafter
stamen&pistil of date&flash Hermaphrodite havingfailed my self
but fullfallseed in fullfruitpassion but to Dionysis a piousprayer
burstingtolife beyond puerilefashion. to bananas eggplants &succulentpear.
NewOldYear Breathing
I slept throughit. Breathingin breathingout.
I wept throughit. Breathingin breathingout.
I read throughit. Breathingin breathout.
I bled throughit. Breathingin breathout.
I sat throughit. Breathin breathout.
I chatted throughit. Breathin breathout.
I loved throughit. Breath breath.
I shoved throughit. Breath breath.
Iftime weren't true Breath.
wouldnewyear
benew Noonepromisedyou
&so mylife trainingwouldn'tbe
a witches'sbrew boring.
steepedinvodoo
&whatodo Fearing
witheternity Fearing facingmyself.
&myclingingself? Followingfootfalls
of anyother.
Fidelity ................
Neitherfaithful Wanderinginwoods
norinfidel futile tolookback
in selfevidentworld nevertosee signs
of elementatlbeing. of myprecious track.
Unlessdesiring PiggyBack
eternalife Playing piggyback.
guaranteeing Learning from mom&dad.
eternalstrife Howmuch can nurtureteach?
within trusted
memory. Standingtall on parent'shoulders
tillgetting tobig for oftpatched britches.
Necessary Burgeoningbodied headstrong offspring
Memory creatingfutures. springingoff creating their personalniches.
A necessaryevil for survival.
All cumulativewisdom lost totheirgrowing.
Acknowledged as such Discerningsoundjudgement&awareperception
notnecessarily tool of lost toyouth's so often oatless sowing
separation&suffering. whilecounting on nature's myriadimpression.
Memory doubledgedsword. OnlySelf
If swungtoohard swingingback Onlyself
dismembering myappendages canseparate
grown for loving. thuscreating
beginningending.
Buying
Buying selfhelp books Onlyself
by gurus &divinersofduality canhate.
to remindme that I'm on the rightrack. Maintainingdistance
refusingtodance.
Shelvingthem afteraglance.
Gettingback to sitting. Volume
Darkeningroom.
Breakfast Turningdownvolume.
Startingday with breakfast Hearing music
waffles alwayspillingover intimately.
toast alwaysheddingcrumbs
should I expect lessormore Forgettingself.
whilestarting myselfish dailywar? Volumeofthisnow
encompassing.
Lunch lessfood than timelydiversion
from mydailyfails as I conjure a version Boiling
where I endup withthe higherscore. Desire'sfires heatingmywilling
mybrain boilingover with memories.
Supper a time of metaphoric succor
asif mylife beotherthan forevermore Past'sdefenses alwayspilling
ina world fighting the coldestwar intomy presentense sensories.
of me v. you of many v. few
of false v. true of wisdom v. IQ Needingtoslow rushingflow
of order v. soulsucking SNAFU. ofmy dailydreamingnightmare.
Somany I's without a clue Sittingstill in transform'sglow
asto theprice of "I loveyou". watching neuronal warfare.
SubtlePride
Admittingforces Other'sjudgement forever lenient
beyondmyunderstanding. when movedby selfeffacing intent
Soproud ofmy humblenature. thusavoiding socialvampires.
Unplanned nopretense Subtlepride a selfserving ride
now allowed todrop defense to a hell pavedunder &justified.
embracing anybelief I will&want. ....................................
Fauxsadmission of ignorance
Howclever&convenient being permission tolive
beingpermitted to completelyvent Pretending knowingnothing
eachofmy razorhoned wishes. becoming subtleprig.
Shiney Spent Selfishness Brass spent
being shinierthan withoutpowder withoutlead.
sacrifice Bodies sent
my raccoonbeing sans power justdead.
hording
thoughtgold. Nomore exploding
in defense of offense
HowIsIt? that nobrightcasing
Howisit that toawaken can evercontain
I mustrain? evenwhencollected
Am I notawake whiletraining? melted recast.
Is jumpshootermoved Nevereveragain
by desire'sdream myarm myaim
of makingeveryshot? powderderlesspowerless
todefend my cellsluit again
Will therecome a time asif burnishedbrass
when tenhands truly being myselfishness.
entwine in unknowingknot?
SelfPreservation
1. Stimulus Brain Response
Stimulus Brain Response
2. Stimulus Survival Response
Stimulus Survival Response
3. Stimulus Memory Response
Stimulus Memory Response
4. Memory Brain Then
Memory Brain Then
5. Then Self When
Then Self When
6. When Self's Survival
When Self's Survival
............................................................................
MatchingQuiz
A. Brain 1. Illusion
B. Self 2. Reality
C. Then 3. Desire
D. When 4. Truth
E. Memory 5. Confusion
Gunslinger Empty
He skinned his smokewagon Isthere emptying
as quickly asme. whencontainer
&contained
Butmybullet hit its target areone?
before he pulledhistrigger.
No cupoverflowing.
I stillhavereflexes No knowing or unknowing.
of a twenty yearold
& regrettably Stardust as membrane.
theimpulses also. Stardust as refrain
insong of universe's
Independance eminentdomain
Independance overwhat I thought
a peculiarly Americantrance was surelymine.
dervishfurry as self'sflurry
of lifeliberty&happiness. I Fear
The moreland I own
Asif life a gift tome. the moregates I mustguard.
Asif free you&I canbe we.
Asif alone I canbehappy. I fear infidels
are entering with impunity.
MyBody
"Mybody. Mychoice." Breathing
Breathingtooheavily
Noparents. Nograndparents. onmy privatemirror.
Noancestors tospeakof. Unable tosee myself.
And what'sup with Needing a partner
"socialcontract"? towipe thatsurface
helpingmesee
Choice asmy Godgiven birthwrong who I am.
singingsolo my plaintivesong
that I've earned myright tobefree CriticalFusionFrequency separate CFF making"flick" into motionpicture
proud &lonely. makingstrobing life&death
into transform's lifedeath.
Choices
Self lovingchoice. CFF beingachieved by letttingo memory
Rewardedwithpride. &irony of its feltcohesion
allowing eachnow to melt as
Butwithreality inorganicbeing of cellulosefilm
strippedofpermanence coolinginsantly in eachnow's pool
eachchoice transient. ....................................
Life&death
Yetstill asif heavensent strobbinglightdark
tothose withfaith at immensespeed
in tomorrow becomingtoofast forself todiscern
& nofeelfor fusionbecoming cauterizingburn
love. life&deathmerging as transform'sjewel.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Puppy lostinvines. Morebeaten than mowed Seasons unwitting
Her goldbrown easytospot starwstrands pointing north&south. ofmy leaflitter sitting.
when notindrygrass. Sun ninetydegrees. Cleaningmytowel.
Lightning inviting Winterbrokenbranch Whichone ismoving Born as Lutheran.
flashingthrough bedroomskylight. below branch barelybudding. the nailfile or thefinger? Witnessing synods fighting.
Thenthunder breaching. Each asits other. Whowouldcare to say? Dying pre-rebirth.
Watching BottomLine Mountainlion growling. Mountainbrook gurglinig.
duringDuke basketballgame. The samesound overagain. The samesound overagain.
Keepingup with then. Eachtime menacing. Eachtime beyondpeace.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.
END OF MORE RIPPLING STILL - 17
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