<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
ThreeAM PT
shoulderneedingpunishment
forwakingmeup.
Bedroomdeck hotub Am I hikingwoods Our nativewoodland Quick withouthurry.
scaldingcauldronofchlorine or am I lostinforest? young&old livingdying Blending butnever blurry.
warming&cleaning. There's noway toknow. graceful &grotesque. HearingScarlatti.
Squirrel snowlacedlimb After twilightstorm Courtyard fromabove
asif fighting with deadleaf just onedog oneowl onefrog seeingourwedding again
during winter's slim. foldingintomist. &ourkids playing.
Spring simpy a tease. Midwinter midfield
Summer briefbreeze beforefall. agingoak with barklessarms
Winter emptiedall. snug in ivyvest.
Makingtheplaywork
against the flowofthegame
insuring nogain.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Potted PleaseDon't
Whatcan pottedpetuniaknow Please don'try to teachme.
of puffingclouds&summer'sblow I'mcertain I don'twant tolearn
of rocking&spinning in unknowingecstasy fromyou.
with its perfectsong beingfragrant&free?
All Iwant fromyou forme
Gardenpetunia givento moistbreeze istoconfirm mywildestfantasy.
fragrance travelingwilless throughsky&trees
floatingcareless tillcapturedbybreath Taking
&in thatsentience lifelove&death. Takingherwater pooled
in streamlakepond
Meadow sometimes puddle.
Longstemmed scaletopped archingstrawgrass
between thornvined forestentrance Takingherwater whole
&crushedrockroad of toestubstone. notfrom showerhead
hose
Longstsemmed archingstraw heaven
archingoverdaisies (with outrightdisdain for rain).
suspendingstemless
unknowntotruth Comingfordrinking
defiantofbeauty slurping fromherbowl
withabsolutely slobberingdroplets
no use forgravity. asif spatter hergoal.
Universe of Fetchingcrashlanding inherlake
whitehubbed whirlingyellows angelwingspray radiatingwake
ceilingfans of fourblade multiplemovings incontrast to her finalshake
hostofpetals unmoving. of rainbowmist for heaven'sake.
Anyway a living splay Mapping
of colloidalbeing Math - mappingreality
in transform'splay. asif
an abstractionfrom
Ifnot of transform perhaps of beingstill transform'slurry
betweenhere&there of earthairfirewater
betweenhue&stare couldpossibly be real.
or simplybeing lesserself
emptyfull of emptiedall. Faith - mappingmydreamories.
Imagination shapedtodesire.
BreathTaking
Rollercoaster firstfall Distinction
breathtaking everytime Distinction - realityofdifference
everytime a firstofall. withoutseparation.
Bedwithoutbank - flatland.
Fogettingexpectation Flow withoutbank - flood.
asif expectation couldberemembered
rememberingtobreathe Sadlyforsapiens
asif I haveasay "Envy is the tax
allowingpassion's freedomfromintellect which all distinction
respecting unspoken primaleffect. must pay."
R.W.Emerson
PuppyLove
Puppylove Paytoeachall dreamory
doggingmymemory distractingme from thisnow
perfection onlywhen until trained toquiet my I
unabletosee dullingmy deadlysinning.
with thisnow embracing
myreality Silence Silence
remindingme the universalanguage
that thatnow wasthen unknowng toall unhearing
&all&only heardonly in lesselfmelding
in eachmomentchosen being pantingofexhaustion
havingnevereverbeen havingemptied somuchcargo
livedfully from self's vasthold.
or apart.
Fearing
Fearingloss of lifeternal Ignoring innocence before guilt
materialbeing feltas lifeinfernal brainfearing embracing selfoverother
efflorescentbrain seeking fulleffulgence asitsduty for corporealsurvival
abandoning flesh for dreamories devaluingflesh for thesakeof fantasy.
thus savingself forneverever.
Whatcouldpossibly gowrong I failtoask
Suicide of brain bysame whenbrain's associationmilieu
22caliber memorybullet unencumbered by athand task?
bouncinginskull inshame
memoriesbleeding intomemories Sapiens choosing faithhope purposemeaning
puddlinginto purecreation livinginpeace with separationdisguised
oblivious to ifonly thisnowbartered for futureperfect.
quantumstates
citiesofgods Inthemeantime each inbetweentime
fullcertainfates won'twe havefun with mywill beingdone
even &/or odds. when I meanthen withwhen outracingnow
towardmy desiredoutcome.
Reveal
In transform'smansion thereare manyrooms Beneath litaniesofdesire &layersofdesserts
each havingseen manycolors&decoratingschemes lies barebones of allbeing whenstrippedclean
suitingthemes of eachself&eachtime ofall meat.
covered over&over unseemlyorsublime.
Scrape&sand&lend yourhand
Whyadd anothercolor toa palette gonegray to rediscover whatwasthere allthewhile
whenwhat's neededmost istofind a way a home forafamily lostinlove
backtofront of houseashome without thought of selforstyle.
beforeitbecame but a honeycomb
for nectar ofeach whimofself. Revel in reveal of sapien'sability
tobe withinreality beyond our reverie
Reveal style'sconceal of fickleconceit thehouse therooms the starkadornments
job being tostrip ¬justrepeat. rewarding mytraining tobecome lessthanme.
Holodeck
Memory self'sholodeck againgst allbeing in transform'spureseeing
creating anythingimaginable seeking a permanence in ephemeralbeing.
tosatisfy mydesires.
Embodiedself lost tolureof lifeternal.
Sapien's newtoy in selfdefense gonemad Lesself thoughteffete by ineffectualthought.
protecting a chimericreality Chosingtoworship a godofexclusion
beyond cavebears spears physicalfears. inaworld inwhich choice&doing areillusion.
Self against a worldwithoutsubstance. Abandon yourholodeack quiet thought'sintellect
Self guarding self fullofpretense thenrepair yourdisconnect between I&allother.
MyHeight
At myheight Then looseleavesfluttering
oakdtrunk beingstill in fugue with butterflying
as stillasme watching tillearth's massivewill
unrooted. outweighs the nearlyweightless
pullingleaf toheart leavinginsect todepart
Below leafcrown withinwind's willessdervish.
awash inwind's willessway
eachsway a shortswath Buffetedleaf batteredbutterfly
of white&gray on eternallypassing withmy wanderlust unwilling towean
bluecanvas. fromthis bucolicscene
&I as I unrooted&redacted
(Or is sky thethingstill mylesself foraninstant fatallydistracted
withclouds hurryingby?) returning toitsdefault innerbeing
of waytooproud selfishseeing.
Quieting FantasyFootball Quietingself involves abandoning Games unwatched self neverlost
faithhope in passion of thispresentnow.
meaningpurpose
doing goodbad Numbersruling wellruledledgers
doinganything archiving reality's poisonedexhaust.
language
logic Whybother with now knowingthen sowell
pickingchoosing using lastseason'stats at existentialcost?
&absolutely my immortalsoul.
Lifeverelasting with realityfasting
Simplicity unfeedingcell withinmy privatehell.
Ah thesimplicity of offense
playground forself toshine Caught
playgroundball incarnate. Caught in cultural amber
of pinetar reasoning
Oh thecomplexity in defending unabletostop
dependingonother lesself atplay unwillingtogo
noplayground noshine self writlarge lesselflost
simplysweat topay. inthe viscousflow.
FearingFaith
Still fearingfaith creating sunsofsuns
evenwhen could leadmeto
caughtinablender the driverof the
with shardsofglass oh sospeeding
from someidiot's bassboat.
shattered
houseofmirrors. Letfaithfail
inthe eyesof the beholden
Still failingconnection permitting lesself
asif the possibility of
that roostertail sharing.
Chalk
Somanylessons Whitechalk on brickschool
inmy chalktray defining target for ourgames
havinglived alife of strikeout.
of beingtaught.
Chalktalk
Soft sosoft in lockerooms
precious calciumcarbonate lockingpassion
asif inabrasion myonlyfate into goosestep
tofill mybrain asif tobind action.
mydream ofsubstance ........
within emptinesss Cleaning chalktray
ofknowing. clappingerasers
........... but neverusingwater
Coloredchalk onthe blackboard
onthesidewalk &certainlynever
infrontof my erasing my
ancestralhome. dailyroutine.
n+17 Don't
Packingmylifeboat "Don't judgeme" beingmy adolescentplea
with n+17 passengers with burgeoningself in defenseofsame
certainthatcrowding makinganappeal to others tofeel
couldcreate lesseparation. whilebeginning thierpractice to stillness.
Collidingwith
another overloaded lifeboat. Memory
Memory
Bothboats capsizing. creatingtime forme
toconjure mymagic
There arelimits forthinking I'm eternal
even forlove. intheface of facelessnow.
**HedgeClipper** **Speaking**
Havingjustbought a hedgeclipper Speakingaloud
deeming it morehandythan a woodchipper ismy firstammendment right.
creating topiaries of gardenfairies Nomatter howloud I get
sporting redfreckles from harvestimeberries youcan't muzzleme.
donning whitebonnets from latefall snowflurries.
Oh. It'sthevolume
Introduced tomybeloved chainsaw that'snot allowed.
hedgeclipper cowering in
dread&awe. OK. Nevermind.
Memory Snack
Memory Boldcellsuit in selfishpursuit
creatingtime forme tofill itsack with otherthan a snack
toconjure mymagic asif squirrel orother urbanrodent.
ofthinking my I eternal
intheface of facelessnow. Seekingsustenance instacks of library
whilesearching for elusive fabledwordfairy
Marathon turningmydesires intoall that'sneeded
Life's a marathon for my sospecial being.
needingme tobetraining constantly. ................................
Leavinglibrary's monlithicmonastery
Emtpycalories of faith&hope roamingreality without noisycommentary
affecting me like dope. searching for sevencourseserving of love.
Fatcalories from pride&accomplishment
causing systemicdissent. TallWeed
Sugaryenergy from sexdrugsrock&roll Gravitygracedcurving heldfromfalling
tryingtogain control. by rootearthsprawling in breezelaced swerving
with tallweedslowing clover's Julyforth showing
Feastingon sorrowofseparation for pollinator'snotice intheir sweetgoing.
fuelingmewell for mylonghaul.
Butterfly unknowing inits breezebraced flowing
NoFear thatweed savedfrom mowing couldyield suchserving
When thereis nofear indoing of nectardeep easyreap as filamentousgrowing.
without unknowingbeing
then there'separation Flyingfree forpetal sewing
&lonliness tillnext winged iridescence glowing
whilelost in thought. lights toshare in nature's lovingdare
tofill ourearth with perfumedair
Gamebeginning &colors both common&rare.
eachself intentonwinning
where eachthought is sinning ManagingSelf
tillwashedaway Managing myself asif thatwere mynorm
bysweat as self'sdebt when quietingself exposesharmonies
accrued duringsurvival of eternity's gentletransform.
imbued bymyrival
withme unknowing fact RED
from memory'sfancy. Self readingRED
writtenwith a yellowpen.
Eat Lesself seeingyellow
Eat. used inwriting RED.
Don'tbe eaten.
Reproduce. Sanity
"I believe" is sanitizedselfishness
If memoryserves each sentientcreature living inits
itserves thosecauses. carefullychosen location within
WitSec
Ifmemoryswerves hopefullysafe from the selfish
itserves ourmeanest self. whowouldsteal their lunchmoney
&cramthem into a locker.
MemoryIsToMe
Memory isto me Fullness of spiritlife
as thestuff of ghostexistence
SuperNatural isto lifeternal isasmatter to sapienstrife
as beyondwhich we wiseone'sposit
illusion isto delusion. thereality ofself as self fulfilling prophecy
................................... my ghost as self nourishedby
Fullmoons havealways made emptycalories of faithope meaningpurpose
sapiens lightheaded ..................................
butfarfrom enlightened. Lackingtraining
nolookpass ismagic
Ghostsknow asif
matter is illusion passer
scratchingthier emptyheads a sorcerer
watchingsapiens suffertolive ....................
inaworld theythink is reality. Self isto lesself
as
Spiritworld time isto transform
isobvious tothem as
anaxiom of self'sbeing SuperNatural isto SimplyNatural
thatwhich without as
isemptiness tothem. eternalife isto EarthAirWaterFire.
Roof'sJourney
Throughwinding countryroads Seeing porchpulpits
waving at rollinghills on highside of road
both behind&yet tocome overlooking butnever overbearing
an unpaintedporch being's wood'sgrowth
withthree weatherbeaten &piece&peace of venerablehills.
whickerchairs strewnwith .............................
junk? antiques? During cityflight seeing talltrim roofs
a continuous yardsale lookingdown at neighborhoods
slowing bothtime &travelers. darkflat&dense withtheliving.
Seeingroofs asphaltiled others tin Beneath itall narrowmoleholes throughcommerce
with stonechimneys higherthan trainlinking ourpace
outbuildings&fields. through firststrata of cityliving citycrying.
SelfConsciousness
Selfconciousness only jerryrigs&shims as perfections'whims
a privatescreening &a leakingroof at that.
a privatescreaming
ofmy personal Beingadog of dutifuldogma
zombie apocalypse. caged&held at the inhumanesociety
hopingforadoption by a child of light
Livingalife ofdeath aslife who'll takeme forwalks unleashed
fearingterminal after a playfight.
creatingsame ................................................
insisting the I be perfectlysane And I believing
inaworld unsanitary &brutallylplain. thus nochance of retrieveing
the bonetossed by
No plumb&level in lifeofself eternaltransform.
all knicknacks&books slidingoff myshelf
WildNights LifeDeath
Wildnights in seas of you&me Lifedeath
whileseeking portwithin tobe a swirlofstardust
calmcoming for our givingover intransform's
becomingwildcalm &port &sea. dervishdance.
Read
Readtheroom Opento other
escape yourtomb beforeself cansmother
of memory living in fire of life leftobreathe.
sensorydeprivation.
Trade life ethereal
Readtheroom intime immemorial
escape yourwomb for allife material
of memory as self'sconsumption in transformcensorial
with boldassumption of lifeternal. with nobelief intheface of fact.
Readtheroom Readtheroom
oflife inbloom smell itsperfume
withlove muchmorethen lipservice of flowerofseed
evenmore thanembrace eschewingallneed
leavinglittle of maskedface foranything otherthan
tohide my lesself this simplenow.
of flesh&bone.
Mixing
Floureggoilmilk cocoasugar Spreadbaking spreadcooling
laidout insequence wombtotomb not kitchenart but tobe eaten
toride time'sarrow towhere? digestedburnedexcreted
Salvation? moremixing changingallunchanged
Kingdomofheaven? centersbecomingpointguards
Truth? in positionlessplay
Beauty? eachassist becoming steal becomingtrey
Faith? "inthemix"
Love? asthe pseudoprescient say.
..........................
Rathermixed mixing mixed Whereislife sodesired
neveragain tobe deathsocertain
floureggoilmilk cocoasugar time'sflacidarrow
neveragain moreorlessthan fate'sflailing inevitability?
floureggoilmilk cocoasugar
monotonous inmixing In eternalmixmaster's facelessface
whemixed boring. blurringall tostill.
WithoutWords
Songwithoutwords Oraretheystill withoutmemory
eachnote itself as appearingnow asthen.
sonata fugue symphony. .......................
Neitherthen norwhen
Then nourishingnow in&of thisnow
devoured tomaintain tobuild shots blocks rebounds
asif accretion needbesmeared &the righteousassist.
acrosstime bytime.
Memorybeing bothwindsweptlake &lair
Flockingbirds havingbeenwire. crestingwhilecorrupting
Feeding geese havingbeen sky V. making thisnow a casualtyofreality
nomatter how purelytrue.
Bound Mercy
Explaining sparse stardust Mercy'spirit
to languagedense beings from judgment'sdread
gravitybound by self'smass honoringmyempathy
with littlechance of freeing. fromwithin myownhead.
Lesself as dust&gravity both LetGod in infiniteseparation
whisperingintimacy's boundlessoath feignsuperiority throughChrist'suffering
toall&none as manytheone with mylesself lostinfog of other
whilebecoming mylove's brightsun. knowinglittlemore than to weep&sing.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
WatchingmyBM Squirrel scampering Hourglassand stuck.
swirlinto oblivion. blindtopullofgravity Doesthatmean time standingstill
Not the worstofme. up&down ourtree. till I taptheglass?
Mykin all whiteskined Starsbecomingscars Withspoon inmyhand Twoloons circlingflight
meatloaf peas mashedpotatoes. ofmy desirousdreaming. whywould I lookforaknife endingwiththeirlakelanding
Then beer TV bed. Toodistant to touch. to slicebanana? then ripplesjoining.
Fats proteins merging Restless restlessclouds Schedulingcourses.
bubblesbecoming firstcell forming reforming always Randomjuxtaposition.
&thus heavenhell. neversatisfied. Creativity.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Wedding Trying
Mutemusic beingmouthed across stillroom Tryingtobe unselfish is selfish
with tiltedhead telepathy. pointguaredtrying tobe pointguard
Hardlyhearing banalcheering becoming falldown in river'sflow.
oftheirmarriage alreadyset toswoon.
Trainingtobe lesself
Fakemusic louderthan theirvows bybeing perfectlymindful
readby highpriest for somegod'sake. surelyresulting in temporarysanity
Fakecandles on ohso formalcake until
can'tflicker likebride's burningeyes. drive draw dish or shoot
toe ofhead heel ofboot
Justliquor&fatteningfood beingreal notdeciding simplyhappening
&lightning from oldboyfriend'sglance. norightnowrong in willessfling.
Twofamiliesjoined forbetter forworse
kneelingtopray as churchbells peal Lure
for whatisright for whatisreal. They lureme to their waterylair
thesewily bluegill&bass.
Onlysex smackingproud amid slinkingfalse
forwhat isgiven forwhat isreceived They lureme fromy easychair
forwhat isbruised beforetheirheal. with sanguinepromise of lesseparation
within ourworld of transformation
Patience beyond cloudlessky &breezeblessed air.
Patience being my primaryvirtue
fromwhichfont poursall purelove. Theypromise an audience eyetoeye
then stealmybait gethooked &cry
Patience admitting toaworld withoutme "I can'tbecaught. I'llbreak your rod.
whilelove istransform's fealty. I'll snapyourline before you net.
I'llstay mylake forsaking yourwish.
Tongue&Lung I'llbe your weightlesscale &wet."
WehaveGod onourtongue
butnot inourlung ThenBluegill smilingsoftly says
as cognitivecoherence "Mybeing as Water is as beingEarth.
corresponding to none. Remainingfresh maintainingmyflesh
I'llkeep yourbeing in a stateofdearth."
Better a wordlessGod shouldspring
withwhich todance withwhich tosing ThenBass responding with bubblingvoice
drunk toallknowing blind toallshowing "Youronce werewithgill nowyour withlung
being whirl&blur of eachmoment'sfling. youhavebecome your choiclesschoice.
BreatheWater drinkAir becomeagain
Waving Fire&Earth fromwhich you'vesprung
Waves without willofwind joining our silentbeing bystilling yourtongue."
&willessness of sea wouldbe
but obeisantservants to mastersun NoWonder
ripplingorstill till over&done. Nowonder myhead ishurting
it doesn'tfit intomyskull.
Waves without stillofsea
displayingfealty to gravity Themore I thinkaboutit
scooching&surging in celestialsin themore it swells.
couldbebut love as ocean'stwin. Oris myskull shrinking?
Waving without needtoknow Eitherway painispain
whatwill come &what hasbeen &someone betterstartdrilling
stored in mymemory'scentrifuge torelieve the strangelyremitting pressure
separating thisnow from then&when of being myselfish me.
..............................
Each risingfalling suncrest earthtrough Drill being momentbymoment training.
needbe ¬be mydefense&desire Drillbit beingcoated with groundinsanity.
stillingthemass of myselfishness Reliefhole allowing my self todisappear
whileburning in lesself's trainingfire. within oceanofvanity.
Drillthrough my lifeofdefense.
I Must Drillthrough mylayers of pastense.
I mustimpress myboss Leaveonly a perfectlyperforated morality.
or I maylose myjob.
CloudedMe
I mustimpress myparents There areno fullmoons
or I maylose my selfesteem. for my cloudedself
darkestnight
I must deflectblame butnever
toimpress withoutshame dawn.
allothers withwhom
I compete. Even on equinox
........... nobalance to mylife of braille
Yet inamoment feelingfor the perfectwords
of forgetful selflessdefense when oneglance shouldsuffice.
I diedalive
makingno goodsense. Letsun pretendtruth in light of ray
&moon professlove in reflection
Then attending my wake tillnarcissus letsgo my unholyghost
unannounced imagining meburning in fullsay.
(awakening for transform'sake?)
I see myselfdancing with my lesserself Clouded blind &dimmedbyday
tilll noone noticed allbeing becoming a placetoplay
astheydanced allnight an endlessgame of now&here
asone. amongthosetrained to feelnofear.
RhythmTime
Howmanynights of self's sparklinglights before fogofbeing haslifted
plus rhythmic breathofdeath &I amcounted as gifted
addup tomy reflexiveseeing
&lesself's shadow of emptybeing? seeingsoclear withoutafear
that reflectedall is mirroredme
With rhythmtime flowinglike foreverfornever butonly whenlost as desire'sexhaust
howlong canmysenses singtheirsong canmy lesself evereally befree.
in stacatto? .......................................
Transform'srhythm makingitreal
Waiting at gatelessgate as beauty
for signalof my fatelessfate as insight
can I everbe early or neverbe late maybe as
with thenwhen alwaysarriving twilight
thisnow? as earth'star in deaththroes of novatobe
flashespower that usedtobe you&me.
Thisnow thishow in dervishdance
fatigue causinglesself's shroudedtrance
SouthernWinter
Colderthancold clutchingsnow unfalling constrictedbyheaven whichwas neverwhite
only frozendroplets knowing cloud'splans rejoicing in memories of springinsight.
tofreeze withoutfreezing deepbelow myfirstskin .............................
in deceit of winterless southernwinter's sin. If suicide be my silentcipher
on a planetlost in spinningmadness
In graybrownmonths of NovemberMarch mire writing codedclues with depthofmeaning
through night&day allplants allplay duringeach day&year of season's sunpassage
being indoors in artificialsweat thenlet cloudmoon dullsun bemute
outdoorplay being Mother'scoquette. letting cells live brieflife of stars
doomed in eye&ear of death
Drearydreaded daylongdrabness eternal in self &desire'sbreath.
becoming mynightmare of midlifemadness ................................
sun&moon in daynight treason Perhaps foramoment thiswinter turns north
during start&end ofthis finalseason. to snowsofyouth &iceofstrength
to skatinglakes &alleyforts
Let damnedrain be colderthancold. ifwarmth couldfreeze mymemories.
Letmy secondthirdskin &layeredlook
be tighterthan sunsparkle icemeltsnow Better thiswinter slipsfarthersouth
pursinglips stillingtongues during crystalshow. sunmoonagain beginningtoamaze
in lessever seasons of coming&going
Aged&aging bloodlessflow becoming fiftheseason of planting&growing.
surviving ourpurgatory called southernwinter
ToEast ToWest
To east orangedawn To west lake with predawnsprites
through yellowoaks evergreens disappearing into firstmorning light
&fawn as mystery of dark
&checkered jacket as magic of sight.
of agingwoodsman.
Opposites
Is opposite of heat Is opposite of emptiness
cold? fullness?
intellect? distraction?
death? family?
Is opposite of love Is opposite of prayer
hate? blasphemy?
indifference? pride?
lonliness? elementalbeing?
MakeOver
Letmebecome slim&beautiful Yet beautiful I is still I
for I'm not the I I desire. unbidden beneath fauxbeauty.
Letloose the gift&power ofscience
withitsmusic of math from its rationalchoir. I ambeautiful
yetstill I am
Mydesiredprocedure willbe liposuction beneath mydarkness
thatwillvacuum myfat leavingmeslim. beneath mysham.
An anesthetic willmask anyall mypain
&I'll neveragain need tovisit a gym. Only now doesmywork begin inearnest.
..........................
A plasticsurgeon will giveme brandednewlife No plasticsurgeon.
with bookofmedknowledge guiding his knife. No medicalbook.
No anesthetic.
After that onto beauty No liposuction.
facelifted bouying year'sofwear No slim&beautiful.
laseredeyes &collagened lips No artificialook.
unnaturalrooting of breast implants
balancingmyfigure from chest to hips. Justhis:
diet&exercise.
Thusbecoming the I ofmydreams Onlythis:
whilehoping I don't rupturemyseams. diet&exercise.
......................
Yet beautifulme is still oldme No shorcuts just diet&exercise
hidingbeneath boughtbeauty. till my selfishness diminishes&dies.
Now please substitute reconsider &choose.
1. faith for anesthetic
2. dogma for diet
3. prayer for exercise
4. righteousness for fat
5. doctrine for medicalknowledge
6. priest for plastic surgeon
7. littany for procedure
8. salvation for ration
9. supernatural for science
10. vanity for beauty
11. childofGod for lesself.
Bullies Sitting
"This can'tbe all. Sitting. Justsitting
You mustbelieve notdoing no thing
in more" because if I weredoing
bulliesinsist. nothing
I wouldbedoing.
Whatwith theirmass&masses
howcan a simplepilgrim UnKnowing
resist? Eachleaf unknowing
that I think it separatefrom
Real? cloud rain river
Shadows are real. soil root trunk
Realshadows. branch twig bud
as nextseason's leaf.
So thereyougo
allyou naysayers Separatefromwhat
of powerofwill. whilegatheringsun
tofuel mydays till
Now ifonly I couldfind mydays aredone
the foodcourt inthismall &night isall ifonly
ofmy imagination. I fall
asif driedleaf
(So illusions knowingall?
are falsereality?)
Raft
Mirrors Whitewater mountainriver challenging my self
Thisbusiness while I hikeitsbank.
shadows on cavewalls
is gettingtedious. Who righthinking sapien wouldsacrifice
certainty for danger?
I'm goinginto
my houseofmirrors Whowouldchance losing one's self
where I won'tbebothered by inthe wildturmoil
source of light in a raft inflatedwith impermanence
&othernonsense.
**Confusion** **RacoonSyndrome**
Language alwaystrying tomakeme Goingto sportstore or usedcarlot
thefool leavingmoney at home so I canshop
saying "I" before "e" freefrom consumer'sbane
isarule a RacoonSyndrome purchase
&splittinginfinitives is ofbuying the firstshineything
nevercool. I see.
Then settingmeup forfailure **WorkOut**
withspellings unfair Youknow
suchas two C's two O's you'regettingold
&an A somewhere whenyoucount
within thenameof a bean dryingoff your lab
&itspowder. as a cardioworkout.
**ArenaFootball**
Haveyoueverseen an arenafootball game Robotic looking G.I.Joes
whereachplayer looks ninefeet tall throwingpasses then tradingblows
because they'replayingon a minifield
in a building small&weatersealed? tillthescore's 68 to 50
with fansthinking theaction prettynifty
Havingthrown AstroTurf over a hockeyrink asthey leavetheirseats for a brew&laugh
havingcleanedsideboards of bloodypink before scootingback forthe secondhalf.
they bringoutplayers of oversize
amidst dinofcheers &fanaticries. (They're notscores
they're bloodpressures.
Actionresembling a videogame Andthepatient
withaction notnearly halfastame. ain'tdoingwell.)
Where Culling
Wherewereyou lifeofwing&whirr Inmy youth I'dcatch a quicklimit
when winterwhite was morethanfroth of barelykeeperbass
&springreen was thefinalwash gettingme onthe leaderboard
for my warmheart &memory'sblur? atleast.
Wherewereyou breadth&breath ofbeing Then mylifelongsearch while
when width&warp werebanksapart culling short thoughts
at streamside edge &winter'start culling lightmemories.
withmy firstlast heart'shope fleeing?
Finally as agingfisher
Playwithme laywithme staywithme please havingfishedyears formy kicker
as insectlifesinging nearmy neardeaf ear nolonger in competition
becomes headbuzzing fulfilling fate'sfear having caught&released
of iceagefreeze with springthaw a tease. enoughlove
.................................................. tofish withoutjudgement.
Whereareyou lifebreath of each passingseason
while I sit onthedge of streamingnow Why?
unknowing eachself's unselfishvow Whywas I born?
to treatlove astime's last&lasting treason? Because myparen'tslove
wasmorethan theyalone
Playwithme laywithme staywithme please couldbear?
while I muster thecourage tolet my self loose
whilewatching streamingflight of nineasonegoose BecauseGod lovesme?
honking withinout theirperfectease.
Becausenature findsaway
SweetSour toadd toits diversity?
Sweetbreath of thisonly sosour spring.
Sweetsour death within this season's sting. Howwas I born?
With Eden'sapple?
Poets uselanguage tomask theanguish With my firstdesire?
of myaging withinthe eternalcycling With thumb tongue
ofallother's immortalcling &convolutedbrain?
as I knowseason's as numbered
&numbing. Whybeborn?
Is Lebron the GOAT?
Now isthe notime ofmy undying Whatarethe RyderCup matchups?
of seasonlessbeing with songbirds sighing Let'sgofishing.
with its virginalinnocense's&halolikebeaming Yourdaughter sureis growingupfast.
whilewords longformeaning within I lovethistime of year.
rhyme ofnil
melody ofsilence Conspiracy
rhythm ofstill. It's a conspiracy I tellyou
a conspiracy
Seed among skycloudmountain
Of SapienDevelopment &ridgelinetree
1. PleaseSelf Seedinwind. distractingme from nowtothen
2. FearPunishment Hard seedcoat. fromlovetosin
3. PeerPressure Spacingwisely in coldframe. asmemory.
4. Duty Diggingin. Germinating.
5. Empathy Flowering. It's a conspiracy I knowforsure
6. Love Fruiting. drivingbetweenwalls of springreenblur
of forest'spure
Mechanics of glisteningrocks
Newton'smechanic &
is a greasemonkey rockystreampurr
comparedto horologists. creating cozy glen within
stockstillstir.
Fourteenthcentury
countedbefore countingtime wasmastered If thisbe conspiracy letme become ark
by thefirst glorious mechanicalclock withonly onesky onecloud onetree
slicingeach pastmoment &only onehalfblindeye tosee
stackingeach nextmoment thathis is elemenalbeing setfree
squeezingmemory from myprivate darkdreary revelry.
into hiddenhaunts of recenthistory
consuming sapiens desiringimmortality Zombies&Ghosts
(oratleast clearknowledge of when). Beingchased inmyown home
by a zombie &a ghost.
Alarmclockdawn. Thereis noplace tohide.
McDonald's breakfast&lunch.
RubyTuesday dinner. I canlight eachroom scaringtheghost.
Lateshow bedtime. I canoutmaneuver thezombie.
Hallmark years.
Actuarial lifedeathmaps. But howlong can I holdon
Sociologist's generations. &atwhat price?
No mechanics this. Perhaps I'llneed toembrace noescape
Rather an imprinting from mymemory's mire in fate.
of languageoftime
fortifyingAristotle But at whatprice?
with discreteintervals Butwith whatcurrency?
fortifyingGod with a countdown.
UnderGrads
Theywere undergrads Whatifthey hadstopped for directions?
no telling whatyear forcertain Whatifthey wereobviously coquettish?
bikingdown my twolaneblacktop Especially not then.
past my fourunit apartmentcomplex.
Natureornurture take a wildguess?
Bothblonds with sleevelesshirts ..................................
onewith twobuttons unbuttoned Failingcarnal returningtoimagination
theother with scallopedneckline inan ethersoil ina mysticgarden
eachwithbreasts hangingtowardhandlebars blossoming seasonless disguised as
bouncingbelow fullipped joyfulsmiles. anythingotherthan myfallowmemory.
Thatwascoming. Only occasionally
Inpassing narrowracingseats on a sunnyspringSummerafternoon
snuggledbetween cheeks&thighs. anyday oftheweek
anytime oftheyear
Straighteningtocoast willmemory betrayme
slopeofback continuingfall in selfindulgentsorrow
of streaming silkenhair. for my ohso lustless being.
Could I have jumpedon mybike &pursued?
Never.
Language LakeOfStrand
Language Lakeofstrand
bastardoffspring of grassfield aqualand
thumb&tongue asif ourearth be lessthanwater
thumb holdingpen &mybass be buzzingbees.
tongue declaring thenwhen
tyingme tomemory Casting plasticwsorm hidingseparation's hook
pryingme frometernity threadingthrough falldown's cranny&nook
tolive as selfsuffering ambusherhiding lureabiding
goods&evils strands wrapping predatorprey in filamentousgreen.
gods&devils
faith&hope Or skitteringfree on mattedsea
purpose&meaning surfing strand's wovenfirmament
ridingwaves of passion'sexcess to he hidinginwait perhaps inwant
farabove transform's ripplingcaress stalking my pseudoamphibian
of silentcurrents aspredator in camoscaleskin.
withinbeing's abundance.
.................. Or sinkerpunching through algalvault
Language invitingbass to seek&destroy
secondarysentience through longreenstrands as hunter'sassault
of sophisticatedsapiens tobehooked fought thumbed kissed &released
makingsyllables slavetoself returning todeep entwinedasone
thumbgrasping for reality littlewill by eitherspecies havingbeendone.
tongue untyingnormality
letters suffocating lesself Routine
gaspingforlove inaworld of Love'scandle snuffed
rationality. by inattention's heartlessbreath
becoming eachmoment's coldstilldeath
BattleField as transform islost to routine.
I willstop missingfreethrows.
I wllstop missingfreethrows. Ticktocktime creating a paralleluniverse
Me creatingbattlefield. trappingme in a darkspeed hearse
hurrying myself through eachnewfirst
My willtowin fightingmybody. wherenow islast whenunaware
My willtowin fightingmybody. eachnow becoming whatwas &wanting.
Mywill battling mybody. Allow eachmoment
Mybody in unknowingpain. tobecome eachmoment
Mywill otherthaninsane? unchosen
unnoticed
Becoming Antietam still.
graymatter v. blueblood
asif Depth
nurture v. nature What depthofme
intellect v. intuition doesn't smellsmoke
wanting v. needing from chimneyofcrematory
couldkeepmyself fromfeeding &wonderwhere ashofother
onthecorpse of elementalbeing. willscatter in transform'sbreeze?
My battlefielditself bleeding Not myremains
as I proudly resistsurrender. isall I wonders
asif mymemory
JellyFish morethan a tease
Scintillating cilia. whiledangling mytoes
Densedancing circumference. inthe shallowend
Writhing Medusian gossamercore. of lifedeath'spool.
Allsenses lacking in willesstracking OxBow
as suntowindtowavetowhere Villiofgut. Polypsofcolon.
through&as eachelementalvow Choosetheformer.
of love
lifedeath Oxbow surroundingfarm.
thenwhenasnow Shorthike throughwoods.
this mystsicmushroom's unpropelledpulsing Slowfloat onriver.
a powerlessforce of oceandousing Choosethelatter.
anyallhope tobe moresubstantial
than a translucentmembrane Digestionofself byself
thinlycatching sun. becoming lesself.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Moss is moist&soft Defenseagainstdeath Icebergs in tireruts:
but lilies cansunbathe inaworld fullofkillers: BMs from snowpacked wheelwells
with impunity. lesseparation. shakenloose atlast.
Snow pilingonleaf Tentbeetle's torn nest
thatdidn'tleave for winter. now a crystaltrampoline
Crystalpalm chalet. for nextflake's falling.
Snowload whitembrace Boldlyfacingstorm. Our winterpup'sprance
of pines from oppositesides Six singlesided whitetrunks causing twigleaf frozendance
ofour deepwood's path. from lastnight'sblizzard. through freshwhiteforest.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
GuatamaMeets
Guatamameets a manof faith&certainty Though thatman begged fora simplehug
secureinjugment quitesadly theycouldn'teventouch
flashing a twofacedsmile. &inthat brutesanity he wentoweep.
...........................................
Thatman hadmet GodFather Meltingdistance&distance&distance &more
&is embraced in HisHolyLove. onhis mendicantrounds
Guatamapersists inhislovingjourney
Guatamabids a pleasantgoodby meeting a manwhoknew faith&reason
continuingonhisjourney. couldnot coexist with love
.......................... faithbeing as farsighted asreason is nearsighted
Guatamameets a manwhoinsists wherelove is nearfar &blind anyway.
he's a liar &inthat truth
lies the end of logic. Thisman alsoknew thatin a singlehug
therexists notone but two.
Thatman can neverbe embraced
becausethedistance betweenthem Thisman hadlearned thatjudgment isdistance
canonly everbe halved. acrosswhich therecanonlybe goodevil
&theunknowing singletwinspectre of
Thatman hasmet GodSon thenwhen
&hasbegged for understanding leavingnow unrooted in transform
but quitelogically wasdenied havingflowered farfrom separation'sreach.
forthepower of perfection
isin the perceiver. Thisman hadmet&become
thatwhich none canescapefrom.
Yet havingtamedbulls of impossibleproportions .............................
Guatamagrabs thehorns ofthisdilemma Havingjourneyed farbeyond
wrestlingwithhimself farinto yesterday. LifeOfFather DeathOfSon
havingsurvived poisoningby wordsickness
But timedistance is a universeofthought &thesiren of reason
thus goredbythatbull Guatama unthinkshisreach. Guatama becamestill within elementalbeing.
**LawnMower**
No moneydown no paymentdue Humbledbylawn's tallestgrasses
for sheddingpounds&shapingpecs. backtopriming ropegrab&jerk
No stretching&bouncing till black&blue makingsecond&third futilepasses
noneed topump nearhuge nonecks. till exercisebecoming toomuch likework.
Simplylet yourlawn grow midcalfhigh Pushingmower tillmyheartbeat swinging
thenborrow yourneighbor's mowingmachine. with aerobicrhythm many paytoachieve.
Whyshouldyou rent or worseyet buy Pushinguntil mybreathing singing
whentheprice of a cut is returningitclean? until butnotduring mypurgingheave.
.......................................
Retapingthrottle &fillingwithgas Weightlost strengthgained without a cent
primingthrice &rippingher rope beingspent oncostly mailorderwhim.
pulling aginastmotor's nearinfinite mass A walkonmylawn noback undulybent
sweatporingout like a Polishpope. nodriving toembarassment at nearbygym.
Finallycrankied but puttingsoslow Wife nowhappy myselfesteem high
gladeonblade vilolence nearly a draw. sinkingbackinto my easychair
Enoughtime pre nextrev for grasstogrow dreamingofmy fadedyouth withasigh
lackingpower its first(nearly)fatalflaw. whilerunningmyhand throughmy thinninghair.
Without Connection
Withoutmemory Connectionbegan nearshore
no tree canfall justabove clumpsofweeds.
no geese canfly Bass askingme tocomein
no grandparent candie &swimwith him.
no loon cancall
no birth atall I askedbass tocomeout
butfor myself's seeingeyes &enjoy mysun &warmth.
& mywilled attachment With nomeetingofminds weplayed
causing noend of pain. eachinhisownworld yet asone.
Withoutmemory Separationwastangible
notree falling my bowedrod & eightpound testline.
nogeese flying Connectiongwaspalpable
nograndparent living basstobait throughline&rod
noloon calling intomyhands&heart.
nobirth thisnow .....................
butfor myself's surprise Foramoment moment'slost
atseeing elementalbeing both& insufficient
havingbeenmoved totrain. oneaswhole truefalse
thisnow next
Dog'sDeath simplelove yes.
Lying a puddleofhimself
hislastbreaths seeming so unfair. Search
Hewas mypal I hisguardian NeverNow searching ThenWhen
as pillowtook his last of air. forthatwhich wouldmakeme the prize.
DoublePlay Bedding her divorcing her
TinkerstoEverstoChance pining forshe whohas noeyes.
poetry ofour nation'spasstime
becoming people's numbingtrance. I seeing withreason
whatshelives without
Ignorance tofear tohate I seeingdoubt
prejudice asour privatepasstime whileshe canbear
becoming poetry ofourfate. a sunrise lilt
a sunset unfair.
TenMinutes
Thirtyminute hike (Will myheaven include thispath
after fortyminute drive in stormcloud apprehension?
barbedwirepasture in floodsmoothed memory?)
morphinginto .................................
corrugatedsteel guardrail Waxingibbous
morphinginto abovebelow risingsetting sun.
chainlinked celltower
& Dusknow? Dawnthen?
crushedstone parkinglot. Duskdawn thenwhen?
Gentlyhonking Neverthis. Nevernow.
at semiwild horses A cheshirecat?
blocking narrowmountainroad A holycow?
urgingthem to yield
to ourpilgrimage. (Nowbeginning
then ending
Thirtyminutes in aninstant beforenticing
at overlook mywandering attention
carefulstepping &desire toindulge myself.)
cozyposing .............................
forproof ofour Homeagain
havingbeenthere asif neverhaving thened &or whened
then. snapshotsbeing
my immortality.
Adding mosslichen rocks uplifting
overour (Challenging mymemory
upliftedowntrodden selves. I challenge myfaith.
Challenging myfaith
Thirtyminutes out I challenge myresurrection.)
staringdown at thesame ...............................
rockrootpath Singlefern growingfrom rockface
wonderingwhy forestservice asif
wouldn'timprove theway a picture hungby vegetablebeing
beyond chainsawn falldowns fromits mineralporch.
&occasional trialmarkers.
Porcupine BoatlessBoat
Armoringmyself with selectedother Floatingriver inmy illusoryboat
chosencarefully for similar alwayspaddlng forshore.
sharpointedopinion.
On oppositebank losingmyshoes
Then stiffquilled searchingforlover asmud sucksme intosoil.
who'll bleedherself ontomy
piercingpickets. Struggling to crawlback tomyboat
returningtoflow with hardening clayfeet.
Unwillingtolayflat Paddling to othershore expectingmore.
perimeterofmycommunity
matingthrough impossiblegating Walking spikebeach of quickcooledlava
living welldefended neverbefriended vulcan'swelcome forall earthdewellers.
byone whose blunt touch
might letme beblended Steppingcarefully with pierced bleedingfeet
intoaworld beyond strugglingtowardboat eachstep a forgetting.
mywaytoomuch.
Backinboat fearingsomethinglost
Commode plunginginto coldroil
Inmycommode's purewater till whatremained begansinking
droppingmydreams in endlessthinking
showeringthem with tillallthatwasleft wasleft afloat
mymemories lesself in a boatlessboat.
thenflushing yellowbrownswill
downmydesire'sdrain Streaking
tobedilutedwithin Steppingout of frontdoor
oceanoftransform. goldenlab chasing cottontail
NE to SW acrosslawn
Pronouns into briarwoods.
Beginningtouse ............
personalpronouns Clearbluesky
inallbut presentense. crisscrossed with
Becoming more&more contrails.
separate
within myself's defense. Tank
Tanktread
GorgeousSelf movingforward
Adjective adverb creatingself thenback.
puttingme ineachmoment
labeling valuing Tank'swheels
sustainingasmemory. onlyrotating
inplace.
Thatflower can'tbe yellow
it mustbejaundiced Yet tankadvancing
or sunbright (orisit propelled?)
meadowmaking overland throughtime
or bee forsaking. tread in soothingrhythm
circlingwheels a monotonousrhyme.
Thatsmile is nosmile ....................................
it mustbe truth'sharsh scar Sea movingtoland
or implodinghypocrisy sinkingagain in undertowed sand
mybeing'sredeemer itswave astread itswater aswheel
or harvestmoonbasket. perfectrhythm butlacking rhyme
duringitsdance through spacelesstime
Allbeautiful. a gyration in duration
Each anintrusion unmoved unmoving
ofme. transform.
Me ineachmoment Perfection
thisnow definedbyme If fire burnedperfectly
tobemine leaving nosmoke leaving noash
inmemory. then I'd neverneedtotrain
toforget eachdrought
Howugly. toforget eachrain.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Midday witheachwave
cloud wind &thefisherman
floodedwithsunlight.
A glanceinpassing Christmaslights on homes. Six stooped oldladies
tothe endofthepasture Christmaslit homes from onhigh. linedup forlunch eachthesame
&distant treeline. Earth becomingsky. Grandmas all byname.
On tireswing three
in chainedorbit spinningfree
backtoforce of forth.
Teeshirts&tanktops Thirteenbirdsrising
hangingfrom thirdbaseline fence. glidingto oaktree asone
Uniforms playing. landingeach atonce.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Continued on MoreRipplingStill - 14.
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