Puzzlist
Self forever entertainingself
both puzzlist&puzzler inits
desire boredom greed. "Askyourparents
ifthey mightpayfor
Thisnow. sevensimple puzzlepieces
No puzzlepiece from a single broken
forself toassemble blank pavingtile?
as selfwouldchoose.
Then youcanspend
Thisnow. yourlifetime coloring
Sanscontext each separatepiece
eternalall to allbut thralls asyouwould
oftime's enticingilllusion then assemblethem
&illusorylimiting. asyouwill
creatingyourpersonal
Eachpiece allbeing portraitofperfection."
tothose neverfleeing ................
whileholdingout for betterseeing Someparents buy
by judgingatdistance &theiroffspring die
thus creatingcredence aftercompleting
for perfection in sin'separation theirmasterpiece.
from our cellsuited lesself's
unpuzzlingplea. Otherparents refuse
............. &theiroffspring effuse
"I createpuzzles" emptying their self
sings beardedman into allother.
in whiterobe
speakingtoinfant
of barelylearnedlanguage.
Pretending Watercolor
Pretending secondarysentience If it were a watercolor
SuperNatural streaks from twinredlights
or betteryet down drizzlebrightblacktop
divine. tomy headlampbeams
wouldbe art
Primarystimuli drowninginmemory &genius.
being nature'sfuneral
&worseyet Driverlbess
soul'sdeath Driverless car.
&worseyet Carless driver.
self'sbirth.
Havingdriven to themepark choosing
Sacrifice GoCart - But I drovehere.
Pleasure smiling at Sacrifice saying What'sthedifference?
"You're a craftyadversary dearSacrifice BumperCars - Beingthebully.
usingPride my righthandman This ismore likeit.
to lurepenitents into yourservice RollerCoaster - Chem controless
trickingthem into getting a firstaste within parentalparameters.
of nectar of lesself." Again? Still?
TeaCups - Dervishdancing
Ground within transform'sgyre.
I am self groundofdesire Lettingo while holdingon.
devouringallother
withferocity of honeybadger Disguise
& Letmycellsuit restinpeace
appetite of sapienavarice. flesharmor in constantcool slowburning.
Letmystorms of innerocean cease
My I is self groundofdesire sincenow there's muchless selfishyearning.
calculating eachother'smissteps
with abacusofgods Spendingresouces of firewaterairearth
judging eachother'separation on uneatenstuff of eternalsurprise
as sin worthyonly of hell. masquerading eachday as dayofbirth
being eachother'slesself in disguise.
Less I is lesself desiringnearly no thing
beinglost inother
sufferingmercy of each misstep
&wounds of brutalreality.
Better
Betterbereft of passion'slove ofme between now
&lose&lose&lose &nolater
thanfulfill mylongingheart as I writinganunread autoerotiphy
choose&choose&choose a hitlessblog inan unrelentingfog
tobe myself disguisedaslover blurringthis sunrise
using sin as sheet &sex as cover blinding thatsunset
inmypaintive endless sensorysearch being beginningending
from reasonedrighteous wordfulchurch ofall clearsight
of selfdisguised as sanction through this&each
where spinningtime deadchillingnight.
with nevernow rhyme
tornadoes of thens Better tolose&find atlast
hurricanes of whens being'speace in passion'sfast
send selfchasing itsowntale in clocklesstime&maplessplace
ofme beforethen where eachisalways eternity'sface
ofme afterwhen &you&I canlove aswe.
Diary Olympus
Diary unread My I standingatop Mt.Olympus.
you&me unwed My desire'sdrool a waterfall
deliveringbastards intopool of neverfilled.
of selfishdesire.
Alone withonly myGod &God'sdam
Diaryread slowing drought'sflow of mylust tobestow
nothingleft unsaid mygifts toallpenitents above&below.
deliveringscorecard
to myself onfire. My I acting in Olympianbeing.
.......... My knowing illuminatingin allother'sdark.
Diaryunwritten My upstreaflowing carryingmycovenant's ark
by lesselfsmitten withflooding causingNoah's shame [??]
byamnesia tobebuilt&bouyant withoutThyname
in&of love. bobbingwithin my lovelessbeing.
Hut Olympusleveled by weather'swearing
Whylive inaticktock hut undoingtectonic power&daring
whenyou couldlive leaving fertilefloodedplain
in transform'scathedral as lesself's hardearned losstogain
with earthasfloor an unpromisedpeace between
sky as ceiling myself&love.
forest aswalls
with windows&doors ThenWhen
alwaysopen? Thisnow nevereverworse
............... than thenwhen's timefullcurse
Mostsheep stayin theirmeadow of memory'sdyingdreams
afraid thatinforest theywouldiscover &me all&only.
that they neverever weresheep.
Years
Patience Yearspass.
Evenpatience drips with darkdesire Yearspassing.
implicit in patientforwhat
&when. Whatis a year
each dawndusk wink?
Especiallyinpatience does selfishnesslurk each JuneDecember blink?
sanctimoniousnow &tomorrow'sfire.
................................... Thereare noyears in transform
Still withoutpatience justhis daynight
calm withoutpurpose justhis season'sflight
here withoutmotive or neithernor nor both&
thisnow forever. &neverever a bigbrassband.
Pain Thought
The differencebetween painfulmemories Tolerating my untrainedbeing
&simple memoriesofpain forebearing eachofmy selfishacts
is simply in pointofview I havefaith in nohere nonow
former feeling inout of time misunderstandingfully whatmybeing lacks.
latter leavingself behind.
.................... Atleast I thought I knewthefacts
Attached allpain beingendless thenwhen till here&now intruding on when.
joylost withinclock's eternalsin. Now I'mdoubting my veryself
with eachnight'sleep hauntedbythen.
Destroyallclocks letpain be thisnow
withjoy its everpresent twin. Soitgoes again again
&withit all I think I am.
Stars
Clearnight flightless birdsoflight Watchingfoam of dreamofme
eachwindless floating magickite whilefishing inflow closebelow
a crystalsight farfrom my self. transform's gateless damgates.
Seasonalbirds of heaven'smigration SoSimple
barelyborne by eye's sensation Eachother asall. Each I asother.
stranded by myhell's creation Sosimple.
tobe alone &unloved. Sodifficult.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Inspirationfirst First inspiration
thenthedousing of self'sfire thenthedousing of self'sflame
&myveiled desire. withperspiration.
Ceiling lakerippling Firsthreedrafts dousing Daring pathsidegrowth
dusk sundancing its lastdance fire of myinspiration. scratchingme as I walkpast
as I sit in still. Fourthdraft as final. asif to remind.
Crowns&undergrowth Fragrance withoutsight.
slowlyswallowing neighbors Honeysuckle's fierceflagrance
with springabundance. stunning withoutlight
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Distillate
Love heatingcauldron Love as boilingcauldron'scontents
of sapiensuffering withsun's intimateheat
bringingtoboil particulatelacedliquid. beneath star'scoldlight.
Leaving dregsofdesire. ...............
Separation cooling
Impurities including salientseven condensatecollecting
envy on lesself's partlypolishedmirror
greed gluttony reflecting undisciplinedpleading
lust pride sloth. becoming puredrops of trainedbeing
naturalibation in unnnaturalconcentration
Somelargerparticles makingfools ofall undeserving
havingbeenfiltered by intensetraining makingdrunkards ofall lessdesiring
causing dilution of byfilling those emptied &stillenough
belief toreceive this improbablegift.
faithhope
meaningpurpose
forgiveness goodness.
Only I
Only I canever add evil Measuringnot my longitudelatitude
triumph&importance nor altitude nor attitude asgloom &or doom
winning&losing eachall of singleroot eachall of singlebloom
to beingwithin mywill bedone. &fromthatgrowth mycellsuitgrowing
wornwell inMarch wornwell inMay
Winter'sdeath spring'slife asif years of cyclingseasons
alldrama of my personalstrife could startend onany singleday.
strewnasdebris from my self's .......................
flamingcrash Only lesself can unknowevil
burning as judgment triumph importance winning losing
becoming Adam's ash. tobe asbeing nowillbeingdone.
Prison PoorTransform
Prisonwalls fallingaway Poortransform trappedagain
but I hadtostay eaten tothebone bycarrion again
nothavingfound what I wanted. in mycellsuit changingsolittle
it must think it'sin a riddle.
Betterpart of seventyears
spent in solitaryrefinement Air trappedinlungs.
searchingself for somethingelse Water trappedincells.
in futileattempt at atemptingtofind Self trappedin desire&defense.
thatwhich is hiddeninmime
withme a loquaciousparrot. Membrane beingevolution's
cruel originalsin
Needingmoreyears in prisonyard creating inside&out
pumpingiron separating thisfromthat
trainingtoteardown then a brain with memory'svat
mypreciousdefenses. imagining a self livingdying.
............................
Quarrel? Vultures cleaning hyenacarcass.
Frost's fancifulfarewell Hyena laughing
"I had a lover's quarrel unknowingimmortality.
with the world."
Parasite
Impossible. I parasiteself feedingonother
Lesself beingworld from insideout without breakingskin
&neither bipolar. imposingmywill by exposingtheirsin
theirsong drowenedout bymy selfishdin.
Only
Only an infant Tillsitting as stillingsoliloquy
defecateswithoutrestraint seekingscore of longlost symphony
unknowingoffense. for lesself toconduct in tranform'skey
drivingrhythms of dervishdance
Only youths flowinginlove's emptiedtrance.
seekpleasure withoutrestraint
notknowing the price. Ordered
Order butnot ordered.
Only penitents Neither chaotic nor random.
practicerestraint
with an eyetothesky. PhysChem mechanisms
beyondmydesires with nokingdom tocome.
Only those awakened
traininginthismoment Certainty ineach thisnow.
areforgotten in each Beingwithoutgoal.
thisnow.
Transform as elementalbeing
Digestion without a traceofsoul.
Tearing chewing swallowing digesting.
allbeing beingrebuilt in myownimage Trapped
without everknowing my cost Trapped ina culturalculdesac
without everknowing what'slost tryingtoact liketheothers act
when gripofmywill pretends tostill talkingthetalk
rippling of transform'spassing. without
walkingthewalk.
Eachwhole being sumofparts
onlyinself's mind's blurredeye. Howcan I love when mycare doesn'tcount?
Eachpart being sum&whole Howcan I care when I darenot reachout?
in lesself's perfect unknowingsigh.
If thisbe theirstyle howcan I smile
Ripplingtransform undoingwill'sgrip when I can'tbelong withoutbeingwrong
floodofreality flowingthrough tothe lesserself
my semipermeable membrane I'mtraining
protectionagainst mydesire's insane tobecome?
with coolbluesanity of lesself'srefrain
as songofthisnow with keylessaccess Saw&Axe
to rhythms ofmy unknowning need Saw&axe for cutting&splitting
&your enthralling rhyme. creatingshelter&heat.
IfNature Splittingearth withplow
Ifsapien's selfishnature werenatural sowing&reaping.
then myseven deadlysins
wouldbecome soil of mybeing Howcanone survive cold&hungry
withseparation my flower withoutjudgment?
(ifgrowth werepossible withoutseparation?
withinself's aridbeing).
Migratingtoward equator
LivingDead heat with lessfire
Withfamily&friends at mall food with lessfarming
yetme beneath separation'spall lessjudgment
mybody notmeeting myself's demands lesseparation
love slippingfrom my handlesshands. lesself &somuchmore love.
Aliveordead only I canjudge Bemoaned
&judging confirmingonly theworst. Separation bemoaned
Me becomingwindowdressing is lonliness
seenbutuntouched my pridefulcurse. stardustscattered
in freezingspace.
Nolife but inmyhead
nodeath yetstill mydread Separation embraced
that I mayneverever feel is selfishness
thatnothing I think I think isreal creatingconstellations
never tobe in love'sembrace inan indifferent heaven.
nevertoknow my facelessface
among thosestrangers inthatmall Separation treated
within mydarklife duringmy deadlyfall. with trainedamnesia
................................ is stardust
Death as heart'slastbeat? coalescingintolove
Death asmy lastbreath? warmingall feedingall
Asif myself allmyown inits tenderstillness.
asif love'seed neversown
within life'sgarden ofbeing ReelTime
all&other. Reeltime self'skind
of midaymidnight delight.
Ally
Time as self'sally Watching my I
enhancingseparation. rehearseinreverse
withthen aswhen
Dilatingconstricting blindingme tothem
in memory'shouseofmirrors &to this alltooreal now.
pride lockingdoor
death swallowingkey Watching movieofme
leavingme dancingwith with childishglee
reflections of myself. neverbored whenadored
in privacy.
DoubleEdged
Memory a doubledgedsword Reeltime no feeltime
necessarynow yet in mydisembodiedstate
distractingfromnow. creating whatIwill of fate
whilefacing you&yours.
Aswith anytool trainingismandatory.
Reeltime self'sfind
Duh! with midaymidnight fight
Not tooput toofine a pointonit creating realityblight
"double duh!" unknown in transform'sgyre.
Ofcourse there'something biggerthan Reeltime self'srhyme
anyofus creatingideal lackingfeel
because ther'snothingsmaller for reality till
than anyofus. mute&still.
**Cosmetics** **TimeFlies **
Stuck inthe cosmeticsdepartment timeflies
while mywife samplessome tooquickly
"miracle youthcreams" theyflit
I foolishlyread the ingredients youcan't
in the "AgelessWonderBeautyBalm"
-aqua, glycerine,cetyl alcohol, Connect theabove
palmitic acid, stearic acid- into a cogentsentence.
(sofar notbad - butfor theburn)
- C12-15 alkyle benzoate (Words are slipperypigs
C10-30 alkyle acrylate crosspolymer- &language a conundrum.)
(goodheavens arewecreating coal?)
-butyrospermum parkii butter- **Salmander**
(didIreadthat correctly?) Focusingonstones below streamflowing
-alpha-isomethyl ionone- a lash a whip a tail a flail
(Iguess she'llget a topoftheline high) of somethingunknown inmy peripheralfail.
...
-barbadensis leaf juice- Perhaps somegrass in windrivenpassing
(sounds almost organic) or seaweed fromstone as tailofkite
... fluttering unfree inwater's clearlight.
NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS
(isthat good or bad?) Buthen subtleslithering unboundtostone
........................... from someunknown undrownedbystream
Theguy nextome asked a creature asif from aquaticdream
if it mightcould beused mostlytail butforfour tinylegs & I'llguess
tosoften his baseballmitt. (neverhavingseen its start
&unless itbe demonbred)
He was eightyearsold. twotinyeyes in a tinyhead.
BrickByBrick Between
Brickbybrickbybrickbybrick Waking tomomentfalse
building myhouse eachtockbytick firmlybetween then&when
desireasmortar oceanfury dancingwith
willing plumblevel. Christmasflurry
waveof flake lakeof take
Nostorm of fate or ferociousother for heaven'sake in hell'sblackwake
can blowaway my fortress. of self'sfantasysung
......................... but nevereverdone
Lesself nonbuilding nohome of safety withinwithout this eternalnow.
opentoeachall &nature'sfury
invitingallother to unwalledbeing Each inbetween
&simplegrace of emptyseeing. neverwhatitseems
whilestitching mydream's
Legs to nevernow.
First I tried superglue
but legs keptfallingoff Lesselfbecoming
mysnakebeing. Cheshirecow
in a universe teeming
Then I tried theold standby withillusion.
ductape.
Buthat didn'thold forlong. War
War quintessentiallyrandom
I hate toadmit it meanspirited forboth saint&sinner
but I was atmydesk eachbeing both pure&impure
whenthestapler caughtmyeye. lifedeath ina single flash&blur.
Regretabledesperation. War mostjust activity
Nogo. transform'sgyre incarnate
givingtaking withoutjudgment
Finally I askedmywife no meaningpurpose inits brutalfate.
tohelpme sewlegs onmysnake.
War beingself's worstdemon
Butintime evenour bestefforts prowlingforpower
failedtokeep appendagesattached. graspingforgain
usingsapien's giftofbrain
Damnsnake. inration's purestbane.
Bridge
Buildingbridge in citypark Neverstopping midbridge at dawnordusk.
fulloflovers muggers commerce. Neverlooking eastorwest into lakegrace or floweringwoods.
Walkiningacross hiscreation from eitherdirection. Untrained in deliciouslimbo labeled"now"
Neverlookingback. Confident. Eyes alwaysforward. he an unnamedproducer of shortfictions
beingSisyphus to perceivedgradientsoftime
Laketoeast with sunrising in splendidhumility. fearing givingup whatheknew tobereal
Fieldtowest before flowerborderedwoods inorder toexplore eachmoment of fornever.
with sunsetting pleased at havinglit thisday. .....................................
Then implying when.
Creator lookingforward only Remembering northsouthbridge
seeing northspire of town'slargestchurch as a perfect ten.
spearing itscross above tallestrees
higher than surroundinghills. Now center of all
fearedbyambitiousfixers
Tosouth anopening through sparsecrowns&branching nonknownbylovers.
throughwhich creator looking intoheart of businessdistrict
blinking redgreen stinking with refuseofpastlife.
CaveGhost Failing
Cavebear or HolyGhost Fishfowlfieldsofgrain
whichofthose a betterhost failingfeeling storedinbrain
invitingme for finaltoast becomingatbest a sourceofgain
havingfound mygroundofbeing? for my burgeoningappetite.
Beingnamed "Hun" after fatefulkill Allotherbecoming mydomain
or nicknamed "IAm" by whimofwill. whenfailingmiserably torestrain
Pick yourpoison dyingofeither becomingutterly inhmane
desanguination or frozenbrainfever. inmysearch forsate.
Elementalbeing or beingbeyond Seekingmeaning beyondmundane
promise oftouch or nochance forbond? needingpurpose beyondmypain
Trainedforgetting or embracingmemory usingpossession as novocain.
lettingo thenwhen or reality'sabsentee? Then strugglingtofeel.
Eachorganism willdie &my I withit. Perhapswithtraining desirewillwane
But withintransform lesself canbecomeall &mywanting havingbeeninvain
beyondknowledgebelief willcease tobe my selfishstain
beyondesire beyondpall onaworld inwhich I maybepart.
nolonger place&time's impotenthrall. ...................
Yet sapiens thinking a needtomaintain
Release yet sapiens thinking a need to obtain
Releasing my personalcache of stardust while simplest sustenance
backintotransform's randomgyre. isall I need
tofeed my lesserself.
Who but I couldask formore
becomingless with amnesiablessed OfAll
freeingeach thenwhen from everknowing Of allnows
thisperfectnow &mypassing. duringwhich I failedyou
thisnow
ismyonlypain.
EasingPain
Noway to easepain of transform. Noway to easepain
Nowant to easepain of separation. while shedding self'suit of thinskin
while amputating leglesslegs
Betterboils of blackplague while failing toscream mywill'sdesire
thanblanch of blankpage. intoanempty mirror.
Live self'suffering fully Buryingalive my throbbingself
not incontrast withcommnion withshovel inmymouth
but tofullyfeel reality'sreunion whilefeeling in self'sdeaththroes
withallother spreadthin my worstpain of separation
on whitebread of originalsin when I was welldefended&coldsober
ofbeing ofme withinlove's deliriousexcess.
ofmebeing
alone.
.................................................................................................................................................
Between
It'snot icechill
SnapShot of toowillingwind's bitingblast
Knowing eternalall drivingmeinto hoodedcacoon
as painting in museum. &bindinglimbs asif in woolencast.
Knowing mybeloved It'snot sun'smagnified frozenglare
from snapshot in album. off heaped&flowing crystalwhiteflare
butgloom of latefall's bitingrain
Eye'sprojecting self's coldcunning playing endofgrowth as fitfullrefrain.
bringcarrion to a feast
waybeyondflesh. It'snot earlyspring's coaldirtsnow
meltingfrombelow
EachTree but blackcasedbeing asif in time'stomb
Eacheverytree &youmewe longbefore my thoughtordream
seemingtogrow so oftenalone. ofthis freezedried sterilescene.
If standingonmyhead Asif fallspring couldbe without rift
rootcrown wouldabound notbracketing harshlife of desire's spurnedgift
seemingtosurround memoryjudging selfsentencing indefense
each starrynight of chillfog snowhite darkfreezethaw
each nightengaleflight withsun halfseen asif between
each sightunknown to lifeofsoil. simple perfection of seasonlessbeing
&transform'seternal thisnowseeing.
Then root'sblackbeing
inmy headoflight Lost
wouldbeseenas Needingtogetlost.
nevereverseparatefrom Wilderness morestill thanwild.
core&star of deepest height
beingsamesource Needingtobetossed
as transform'schoir by waves of bruteindecision.
of
earthairwater Needingtoexhaust
& all avenuesofescape.
primal fire.
Needingto melt thefrost
NoDeath of myself's proudbeing.
Thereis nodeath
to eachany element Can'tWalk
spicing allife &all nonliving Can'twalk mywood
without waftingjoy
Desiringself being this madmad midMaymorning.
the damningcondiment
in transform'smorgasbord. Beingboth sucked in
&blownaway
Cell throat chokingwithamber
"Cell" Hooke'sword not mine. being pinepollen's sway
Monasticisolation fieldscloaking with goldenrod's
bychoice? tousledisplay
Incarceration canarysun pokingthrough
bychance? greenleaf's ballet
confirming what my leastself
Eitherway elementalseparation. loves butwillneverpray
for nobelief is certainsalvation.
Cell as separation as originasin
sansgarden serpent apple? Power
Ascribingpower to myme Simplebeing beingbeing tobe yourjudge
sansapiens having a say. in opinion'sdiarrhea.
.......................
So what'sleft forwe supercellularcyclones I wasn'tspeaking of you
of selfconsciounsness desire &defense? &mylips weren'tmoving.
Born to bearburden of lonliness Itwasyou who createdme
letmetrain toattain an appendage of yourself
a measure of thatwhich a player in yourdrama
hasnodimension. having my you judge yourself
as good &or evil.
SearchingFor
Digginghole searchingforearth. My I wasneverthere
Swimming searchingforwater. being initsownworld
Breathless searchingforair. of digestion&excretion
Carryingtorch searchingforfire. of breathingin &breathingout.
Searchingforlove. Thisnow'sperfection is baffling
toeach whothinks
Retaliation &all whocare.
Lonliness pleadingwith Hate:
Youfiveme a badname dearestHate PleaBargain
asif separation begettingonlyanger Pickingup other'smess
asif lackoflove begettingretaliation. my communityservicetest.
Yougutless crybaby feebleLonliness On myown recognizance
whining instead of railingagainst whileperforming myhumble publicdance.
theall towhich you'reuninvited.
Me beinguilty seekingnopardon
Stand don'tkneel amongthose fulfillinghighcourt's merciful pleabargain.
beyond arm'slength.
Be righteous againsttheir Fading
temblinghuddling. Understanding deepening?
Misunderstanding fading?
Fearingme sadHate youbecome me Perhaps sittinglongenough
empty drunkonpride energized by other'spain. both/& willbe
forgotten.
Sitwithme for a momentortwo of eternity
&perhaps ifwe can remainmotionless Survival
shycreatures of compassion Tryingtosurvive
willapproach closenough forus while eatingmenus
tofeel theirpulse. sleeping in blueprints.
with memory fleshingout
Enjoying my skeletalremains.
Self lurkinginlogic's houseofmirrors.
Rummagingthrough then
Self being flimflam sideshow whilecounting toten
in carnivaloflanguage. prepping my counterattact
from nevernow from perhapswhen
Self sapien'shomage tomemory. from emptypast or futurelonely
........................ meaculpa for myenemy only.
Training
Training flattening&slowing rollercoasters Selfishmemories
keepingteacups fromspinning. defended emphatically.
Trainingtoact empathetically.
That beingeachpenitent's themepark.
SelfDefense
Nowonder it's nofun. Checkingbelly of eachperson I see.
......................... Athlete?
Lesself Beerguzzler?
Lesself cruisingthemepark
playing in houseofmirrors Checkingvocabulary of eachperson I hear.
enjoying sideshows Polysyllabic?
screaming oneach rollercoaster Substandard?
hurling after teacup ride.
Checkingform of eachpoem I read.
Driving Whatofrhythm?
Drivinginrain Whatofrhyme?
with windshieldwipers off. ................
Backtotraining.
Drivingatnight
with headlight's off. Naming
Naming
Driving undertheinfluence asif knowing
of memory. by lettersofwords
................... by wordsoflanguage
Oh butfor a moment's by memoryalone
clarity. &me
Oh butfor a moment's alone.
peace.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Makingfinalshot. Ourdog watching us Squirrel in repose Certaintyofwhat?
Receivingadulation. without a trace of judgment. becoming a furrybranch Seasonspassing inpassing.
Assumingburden. We watchingTV. with ears eyes nose. Aging everyday.
Picturesque? Oh yes. Self beastofburden Aftercombingdog
WillowShade to MarrowBone yokedtight to expectation tawnytumbleweeds rolling
onourway backhome. draggingme withit. across our driveway.
Flumeride startingsmooth Foreplay to climax
endingwith splashsoak notunlike themepark flumeride.
after finalplunge. Edgingorgasm.
Delicatetoeye Stardust gravity Thankgod for redtape Defendingbody
thornedagainst predator's pry. allofyou & allofme. holdingagainst my bloodrage or am I saving my self?
Grabitstem &cry. EarthAirFireWater. notpaying the wage. Whoisthere tojudge?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
MondayOnSunday
Buoyed by Friday'sfreedom Ifonly I couldtrain tolive thisnow
anchored by Saturday'sate &lose mylove of memory'sintrigue.
Sunday beginningweekend's end ...........................................
sunk by Mondaymorning'sfate Routine. Bygod blessedroutine
untrusted intimeof wantingmore
Memory pollutingnow with then's betterbest blurring thenwhen while settingmefree
then being thisnow's finaltest eachbreath a nextstep on waytowhere
with childhood blindingadult halftrained lackingwill or want toflee.
binding eachme toalife stillchained
forgettingsun reliving rain Letmeforget trusting thisnow forever.
of workdayworry &joylessame. LetSunday beplay &Monday be asitmay
eachperfect inits veryownway.
Each Sundaymorning a Mondaymourning
Saturdaynight dreams of desire'sfatigue.
Mistake Bait&Switch
Mistaking my lightheadedness (Thanks Rumi.)
(causedbytrainingself towardstillness) Transform talkingwithDevil:
as evidenceofdivinity "Quite a bait&switch
iscertainly fundamental irony. you've gotgoing there Mr.Devil
trickingsapiens by promising'freedom'
I mustresist proselytizing knowingfullwell you're selling'servitude'
lest I becomes aggitated. totheir pityabledesires."
Wasreality beingobscured byself "Youvecaughtme atmygame
allmylivelongwhile? VenerableTransform.
Howcan I sell 'freewill'
Tease iftheyknow 'will' tobe
Rememberingmusic self separation suffering."
(thinkingrememberingmusic)
melody WhatPrice?
rhythm Whatprice entry
(thinking as I please). into my themepark?
Harmony pitch timbre Canyouafford carteblanchaccess
all left to noimagination to allrides eachshow
beingmemory'stease. orwill I offeryouonly a la carte
protecting my mostpreciouspart?
Sweat
Pityeachchild Orwilllyou climb a fence
neverfeeling gainingentry thoughtfree
theirownsweat catchingme injudgment
neverknowing the exquisitejoy asifblessed fromabove
of physicalexhaustion butnow entwined
withstress excreted witheach in love.
breathlessbreath.
NeverStill
Inlovewith airshared Neverever havingbeenstill
fromheart throughpore whyseek a primalmotiveforce
from anyother one for transform'srandomgyre?
trainingtobe less
inaworld of wantingmore. Whatwith my everanxious will
whyseek beyond sapien'sprimalsource
Sweat youngbody ourfont of selfishdesire?
becomingcycle of raintosea
eachcell becomingfree tobe Expecting todance withadaffodil
farbeyond allremembrance of I whyseek a ride on an unbridledhorse
&anyremembrance of me. except toset myself onfire.
Well
Noabyss nohell Lookingaway
simply a wishingwell sittingstill lettingo
promisingbliss plaguedby favoritewants
forthose who hope. from ferventwill.
Sightingself Thirstingless
within thatdeepblack. takinganotherlook
wellbecoming a
Discoveringself gentlystreamingbrook
asbeing thefact through a shadedell
thatdesire enlightens no priviso forhell
nothing. nor a portaltoheaven
just purespringwater
Plungingdeeper thatwhensipped brokethespell
intothatdark ofthinking I neededneeded&needed.
spiralingdown .................
asif a questionmark Noabyss nohell
or an augur'sbore no wishingwell
reachingto mymemory's core nopromise nohope
till I finally couldn't ignor for a self thatcan'tcope
mywant toneed withbeing beyond
moremore&more. desire's respond.
...............
InfantMath Integral
Mouth of infantsapienmath Others beingintegral to knowing I
suckling on need no opticalillusions no topicaleffusions
as cellsuit's imminentheorem simply defense'sdelusions
yet dessicating bydesire beyondmother'smilk seeingall throughdesire'scontusions
as inevitablecorollary of catering to havingbeenbadly batteredby
voracious self. reality.
Then babyweaned learningwant Yet lightneedsdark for shadowsinpark
growinginwill toserve self'scravings withus hand&hand beingnature'sremand
as toothlessbeing inlove withdry for makingitseem weone werevertwo
lacking droolinglip or tearmoist eye. within transform'sarc of rainbowhue.
Will becoming organism'saxiom Toowillingtoshare
withbabe cravingsustinance will makingrelease suspect
wellbeyondneed sharing beingdistinction's neglect
piquingappetite for more&more asif lesseparation a cancellation
asif pleading for immortality. asif ourlove coulderase eachface
our torturedmasks beingourdisgrace
Butmath beingwithout morality as cowardiceofselfconsciousness
leavingthechild selfish&obese feelingneed todefend unfetteredjealousy
needingtolive without math'sincrease asif ourflirtation incest.
&traintostill asnil atpeace.
Others defining I withoutever askingwhy
Frosting weasone isn'tconsidered
Lickingfrostingfirst perfection.
then eating sugarflourcake.
Indulgingindesert Better
before substantialslake. Betterdeaf&blind
than tobelieve sincerely
Wildgrass towheat tomeat that whatcomesfrom without
tomeet cell'sdemand for duration isof a differentkind.
needingmorethan emptycalories
to sustainlife's elaborateorganization. Pretendingpurity ofmysensing
offending allbut presentensing
Ifnoly myappetite for a lessufferinglife inmy tenuous tie toeach titillation
couldbeappeased without thestrife convincingself it's a freshcreation
of needingtotrian inorder torestrain of a faculty both faulty&fetid.
my stubbornwill&wanting.
Fearing that thatsewn early&certainly
Back to lickingfrosting then eatingcake. inmy gardenof neuralgraymatter
Afterall itsmybirthday forheaven'sake. mightgrow vineclimbing clinging&leafing
obscuring eachall from everythingelse.
Compound
Compoundeyes of insects. Bestyet totrain tohear&see
Compoundinterest of economics. than tobelieve sodearly
Compoundconfound of sapienexistence. that whatcomesfrom without
is moreorlessthan me.
Whatdoinsects see?
Whatdoeconomists count? Hate
Whatdosapiens expect? Fear chattingwith Hate:
Cleverploy dearestHate
A multifacetedfacade? coopting my primalemotion
Goods as facadefor wealth? intoyour cult shibboleth
Facadeofgoods as self's falsewealtlh? armingthelonely with a
WMD.
Based
Divinity faithbased&supernatural. Thankyou magnanimousFear.
Believe whatyouwant. Turningdefense into offense
Ration logicbased&supranatural. is fodder forthose inpain.
Believe whatyoumust.
Elemental factbased&simplynatural. Withyourhelp I domybest
Traintosee what's reallythere. tofeed the unforgiven.
Love baseless&faceless. FloweringField
Being withoutcare. Floweringfield
feedinginsects&insectivores.
Separate
Join link unite merge Lilypadpond
couple yoke wed nourishingfish&divingducks.
attach tie bind
connect Aerialacts of raptors
protect. firmlygrounded in flesh.
Altruism ataprice. Sapiensfeeding onhubris
Love on thickening ice. slowlyweakening
surelydying.
**Puppies ** **Center **
Wallsmeeting joiningwithfloors Hewas slow.
creatingcorners whereourdogstores
puppies fromher neuteredcoat Guards drovepasthim
accumulatinginshedding. asif hewas standingstill.
Tryingtosweep those lightheartedpuffs Factis hewas standingstill.
floatingaway inpart orwhole
or holdingbroom for a momentbefore But thereis a strangebeauty
escapingintodraft havingearned parole. when twobigmen meet
in thunderous dunkattempt.
Slowlysweeping syb to syb
creating fullgrownminiature Itslike the StayPuffMarshmellowMan
of somestrange&unique lineage meeting PillsburyDoughboy
tobe petted&loved thentrashed tenfeetfromthefloor.
sanspriviledge.
Fatigue
"Fatigue makes cowards of us all."
ChickenEgg VinceLombardi
Chickenfeed chicken
egg omelete. Havingrun lines steps hills
havingmade morefreethrows
Lightsource opaqueobject thandreams I dare
observer silhouette. legless lungless strandedatheline
never resorting toprayer.
Oldwhitemen democracy
voting suffragette.
Blur
Memory selfconsciousness Drivingwithdoggedetermination
fearofdeath safetynet yetunable to draw&dish.
being w/capitalY Hangingairbound in pullupjumper
spirit? essence? soul? yet rearelyhearing telltale swish.
I!
....... PlayingtoughD crashingbothboards
"Youneedn't feardeath" runningfastbreak finishingsure.
Brainpleading with Self Yet missingcutter failingtostop shooter
brain havingrecently gamestillbeing a suddenblur.
seenits silhouette
yetbrain perfectlyfine Howmanyreps beforeforgetting intent?
with its limitedtime. Howmuchsacrifice beforeburning eachmoment?
Howlong must I train tostill self'sbeing?
Self weeping. Howmuchpain before suddenseeing?
Memory
Connect Cavebear or corporateboss
Traincarsconnect fightorflight & allislost.
thenride narrowrails Whatdo I do now?
withlittlefreedom
ofdirection ordestination. Goingintostudy.
Turningoncomputer.
Givingoverself Loggingin.
tocertainty of schedules Typingrequest.
&security of linkedcars. Facing cavebear
...................... &corporateboss.
Automobies truetotheirname
automaticdrivers playingout theirgame Toolate tobesaved.
ofchoosing theirhighway yet boundby theirlane
asif disconnected while stayingthecourse. Wouldthat I could
......................................... have instantaccess
Neither train&track to lifesavinginformation.
nor car&highway.
JustFine
Noconnection nochoice Without mypast mydreams asmyfuture
havingneverbeen separate. howcan I fly with arrowingtime?
LeapOfFaith Whyshould your I be Mercury's tool
Allfaith is leap into memory'sdeep withlesself burningeachmoment justfine?
desiringself in defenseofsame.
Withoutpupose mylife meaningnothing.
Fearingdeath as lossofname Bodydying withnothing beingleftbehind.
cheeringsupernatural as avoidanceofpain
caughtin viciouscircle of memory'smaze Noahead nobehind just hythm&rhyme
where nature'semanence onlybetrays in transform'sgyre neitheryours normine.
the immortalsoul I covet.
Howcan I live withoutfaith in flesh?
Now PleaseGod letmefeast on Yourbread&wine.
Beingmet at door.
ID&credentials scrutinized. Breadtoofilling winespilling.
Pattedown. Forgetting germ&fruit
Pleadingsummary of intent. becoming soil&root.
Teamofelders conferring.
Skating
Beingallowed toenter foyeronly until Thinkingswimmingpool couldbecome skatingrink.
claimingkinship flashing culturalcongruency. Rethinking density&propulsion.
Invitedtodinner.
Desiringfrictionless speed&grace.
Dinnerconversation circumspect Admiring distance&freedom.
till secondglassofwine withdessert.
Solidsurface unrippling.
Then ifthings goingwell Liquidmilieu unstippling.
tothelivingroom for conviviality
&perhaps aninvitation tostay thenight. Forgoing I for other.
Orlonger. Forfeitingseparation for love.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Onthehorizon
atop exposed graniteface
five huge yellowtrucks.
MacCheese comfortfood Whenyou haveyourhealth
forwhen myachingmuscles theysay you havevertything.
need innermassage. Everythingbutlove.
Mypainmedicine Spillingfrom herbed Attractedbyscent
finally bringingmearound tawny fromher eartotail asif I couldpollinate.
toits wayofthinking. frontpaws in repose. Thenattacked bythorns.
Thunderhead incrown. Underthethunder
Lightningseen both near&far. beneath crown&umbrella
Thunder feltonground. enjoying the storm.
Others createme
with praiseorcondemnation
thus expectation
thus reputation
thus obligation
thus separation
thus isolation.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Born Pooling
Bornintotrinity Backingup naturalflow
of poolinginto whowouldknow
thought memory word. whatform my jealousy wouldtake.
Thought desiringself. Being deep&calm&cool
Memory creatingself. before myrapids ofthefool
Word defendingself. whowouldbow for nature'sake.
Bearing sufferingofseparation. Givemeresident nymph&trout
Trainingtostillthought. depthtosurvive harshestdrought.
Strainingtoforgetdesiring. Givemebank as mywill'sflank
Restrainingdefense ofmy making myvolume desire's thinktank.
righteousness.
Protectedfrom incessantgo
Onmywalk letmyself notbe myfoe
attendingtoeachbreath as I pretend my waterstays
&pressure ofeach footfall. be emptiedfilled as transformplays.
Cawbirdcry. Gems
An intrusion? confusion? infusion? Pencilbetweenpages
of elementalbeing ofmy bookoflife
within transform's awaitingfurthernotation
murmuration. more pearlsofwisdom
asif myoysterself
Moving fullofirritants
Feelingbabymoving couldever creategems.
life withinlife
singledoublebeing Or perhaps itsdiamonds I'm after
eachalien to selfishseeing. spreadingrahpite betweenpages
beingpressed onmybookshelf
Eachall perfectinnocense into a newself
withinwithoutjudgment coldhard but somehowprecious
baby unboundbyword atleast tome inmy selfrighteousness.
mother havingneverheard
language of inchoatepeace Fearing
feeling of completerelease. Afraidtosit at canyonedge
or on rockbluff overlookingocean.
Motherchild eachboth thoughtless.
Motherchild repletwithinbliss. Notbecause I might slip&fall
....................... butbecause I may
Childborn at mother'sbreast foraninstant
failing in their firstlast test forgetwho I am
each nurturingother as merelykin &simply trytofly.
each learning tolive separate in sin.
RockFace
Counting Rockface soundingvibrations
Countingbirthdays. of foreverwavingocean
Lamentingmemory. sending piecesofitself
Embacing dreamofimmortality. ineach echoedsigh.
Synapticsea breakingagainst Andwhatof mysoftissue
time's tenaciouselfishness my absorbantself?
wearingaway whatcannotstay.
...................... Isthere a chance
Lesself's heat&pressure for anyreply?
transforming wellwornbeing
layeringmy candledcake MightHaveBeen
if&onlyif inlove withother. I a prisoner then
&mightbe a prisoner when
Fearing butnow's today hearingchildrenplay
Fearing thatbecoming lesself &me waymorethan memory's sway.
is notobe atall.
Asif mymemories not a houseofmirrors
Unknowinglesself with faithlessme sans personalsaviours.
is thatvery all. Asif findingfreedomfrom phantomsoul
from freedomofchoice withits wretchedtoll.
Whoamongus ............................
dareteach thatlesson Training toforgetprison of self'sdesire
emboldening brutebeing? voice becominglost in earthlychoir.
SuperNatural
Supernatural simplymeaning selfish Elementalbeing binding beyondesire
makingup anything I desires. fusing with transform's eternalfire.
Teamingwith justafew similarothers Subsumed withinsea of thisnow&allother
sharingmydelusion at one within nature'spirouette
creating a malignant non nuclearfusion expressingbreath of sentientlifedeath
a brotherhood a tribe withoutrecognition
of my chosenconclusion. withoutregret.
Leprous MemoryMasking
Leprous I Memorymasking simplenow
sloughing thisnow makingitlook exactlylikeme.
leavingme ulcerated Lettingrecollection faedaway
sufferingsepration thenwhen gone settinglesself free.
bymywill &other'swon't
tolivealone&loveless. Each vibrantmoment toomuch tohold
relaxingarms closingeyes
Audacity lettingsenses singreality'song
Membrane &dance themagic of surprise.
imprisoningstardust
then trappingspark Unseen unmoved unknown unproved
callingitlife no secondchance tojoin tranform'sdance.
howevershortlived. Unmasked lesself approachingall
athand unheld love'sconstantcall.
Bythatimprisonment
creating I/other Corruption
perfection of noseparation Eyes&ears corruptedbylanguage
lost sounds written or echoed
self beingcreated with the never thinginits lesself.
cost
of strugglingagainst the Fragrance flavor lovingcaress
audacityofconfinement. eachall real eachall blessed
toroam brain'slandscape
Whatwastransform thinkingof ontheir swiftwildstallions
creatingseparation forcingisolation unknowing morethanwill couldwant
whenall wasone asperfection blind&deaf to then&when.
withoutself being selfconscious
whenall wasone &only Seeing&hearing
with mebeing lonely? shod saddled bridled bit
horses knowingonly
Hiding whatheiriders willallow
Hiding in skullcave with neverachance torunfree
beingdrivenout each hightide inthis simplestnow.
toswim rockchurningwaters
seekingsustenance inshadows MySun
wheremonsters abide. Mysun seekingsense
bindingitsburn in bricksofcool
Escaping skullcave buildingtempleofBable in languageoftense
sneakingout at lowtide withinwhich itcanfeel whatIwills throughmymemory.
wandering softsandbeach
seekingsustanence in sunlight Sun becomingsentient in self'scellsuit
wherenothing canhide. running frombeing alone
thencounting onfeeling
FutileFlight tobelike cartwheeling
Alwaysdreaming rarelyasleep ratherthandealing
alwaystomorrow or maybe nextweek. with a cartfull
Nevernow loominglarge in desire ofsuffering.
burning as thenwhen in self'sfrozenfire.
Unheard
Allother becoming flittingfly (Thanks J.Keats.)
with I fightingdaily myneed todie If melodyunheard
whileattempting tosatisfy hunger'sdelight is sweetest
tosoar abovetransform inself's futileflight. whatoflips thatkiss
untouching
Shared havingnochance tocause
If lifebelove whenshared a blushing
whatsharing in blindconsumption beneath outside mythoughtof
couldbe otherthan otherasI pleasure
&I as dwindlinglight &out self'struth missingouton
lost to desiring'sdoubt? reality'streasure.
SongDance
Lifedeath's songdance with joyous pain
tonoavail of devil'sdemise
in notimewinds includingholy
of flacidsail &profane.
with why&wail
beingdawn's sadpall Thenrise ashdust
thisday beingbartered flauntingyourlust
for transform's all. for transform's
miraculousbeing
Lawngreenskies to neverbe
of jealousearth morelessthanthus
in plaintivecries wild&tame
of eternalbirth whole&free.
FluidSelf GrandForgetting
Sloshinginsynapticswamp Lifeof self lingering in thenwhen.
lostinfog & torrentialrain Lifeof lesself dancing in thisnow.
seekinghighground as savingrace
asif mybeing a deadlyrace. Historybecominghabit
rewrittenreality defended
Yet climbinghigh&stayingdry with righteousauthority
condensing hardening becomingstatue. against ripplingwindwave
Stillost infog & torrentialrain of transform'srave
erosiongbecoing mybugaboo. duringlesself's
grandforgetting.
Wordafterword peltingmybeing
wearingaway my thoughtclear seeing Knowing
till theonlyway toachieve myfreeing Knowing I can'tchoose
istobecome morefluid lesself. poorlyorwell
doesn'tmean mychoice isn'treal
Moisture &binding.
Onlywhenstill doesmoisturefill
everypore of myself. Pretendingother is responsible for me
istopretend mylesself hasleft no residue
Onlywhenstill doesmywill inwhichcase my nearperfection
forgive eachpore &myself. wouldbe morethan adequateprotection
for myfragile I.
Sweatbeingnatural
to synapsesoddenbrain. Nothing
Nothing doesn'tcome easily
Sweatbeing tearsofself to anorganism evolvedtodefend.
whenpaying desire'sdebt. Sensing cavebears&corporatebosses
in everyshadow
Sustain &beancounters counting
Desiringbelief to sustainself: eachwin &allmylosses.
Nohand in sockpuppet.
Ventriloquist silent. NotAngry
I'm notangry that I'mgoing todie
Yet dummydancing yet I am a bit miffed bythe persistentlie
&speaking. that there's a lifeverlasting beyond myself's sin
if&onlyif I cave to a supernaturalwhim
Wild &myfaith be strong.
Neither herdofwildhorses
nor singlestallion Promised deathsentence
everbecomng shapeofcorral. doesn't start with a capital
&end with a period
Mymemory makingjungle a zoo or exclamationpoint
but thereremains courageousfew or questionmark.
nonwilling toride bridledstallion
or wanderjungle gasping starkfear It startswith a spark &ends in thoughtdark
boldly each wildworld close&dear. withgrammar lordingover semantics
................................ &separation ennobled withinspokenword
Belief containingreality asif reality lessthan renderedabsurd
offeringsanctuary bymyinsistence on clearmiddayseeing.
creatingmortuary.
................... Better nopromises of successivesequels of self
Fortunately allcages areunlocked withmydesire'sblurring what's eternallyenduring.
&eachcoffin a cornucopia
invitinglesself to come&go No zerosumgame for the righteouslysane
at nowill. withtransform being moreunforgiving
thanbeing faithfull&forever.
Opening
Openingwindows Release
to freshsensing. Releasingreturning mypersonalcache
of stardust intotransform's randomgyre.
Openingdoors
to strangers. Who but I couldask formore
becomingless withamnesia blessed
Yetghosts freeingeach thenwhen fromeverknowing
fromattic this perfectnow &mypassing.
waiting at
eachopening Headless
to admitpassage Ridingheadlesshorse headless
asis? unheeding feltneed for direction.
asordered?
Horseriderone in randomrun
Invitation? neither seekinganswer
Homeinvasion? nor havingfun.
Assasin
Self usingtime to assasinatenow
desiringfutureperfect &sanitizedpast.
Self sacrificingsentience
in sanctimoniousdefense
of whatitwills
whenalone.
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